i i work monday -friday from 6am to4pm. I wake up @ 5am to make my husband his lunch and breakfast. He doesnt go in untill 7am.by the time i finish cooking its about 5:30am and i only have about 10 mintutes to get ready to work. then i work go home and cook diner and clean up. my husband doesnt aprreciate me,i know that alot of guys wifes dont eve make the luch or work for that matter. when the weeked comes all i want to do is go out to the stores or go to my moms house.my husband doesnt like going to the stores with me all he wants to do his go to this familys house. the problem is my husband doesnt like for me to go to my moms house. we always argue about this.he says that he married me not my family.therfore doesnt like hanging around with them.which i think its totaly unfair because we are always at his family'shouse in the weekend. I am getting tired of always telling my mom lies of why i never go over. should i pick family and divorce my husband or stick with my husband?
2007-07-30 07:13:08 · 9 answers · asked by the one 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should both go to counseling. You might not have to find someone better if he can become a better person.
2007-07-30 07:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by cowboy_fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely might want to consider couple's therapy. It sounds like there are issues on both parts and that you guys don't have good communication. For one, when you marry, you DO marry that person's family and anyone who says otherwise is a jerk. How can you proclaim to love this person and NOT even try to get to know or love the family that means so much to her? He needs to make more of an effort to spend time with you and your family. On the other hand, you guys need to work on spending time just TOGETHER (no family, just the 2 of you) on the weekends. The weekend is usually the only time a couple has to really reconnect. The weeks are so hectic. So, if you're always taking off to visit your family or go shopping, then you're not giving your husband time. He deserves that as well and it will make your r'ship better.
About waking up early to make lunch - what kind of lunch are you making honey?! My goodness! Lunch should either be leftovers from dinner the night before or a simple sandwich with chips or fresh veggies. It doesn't have to be a big production. When you make dinner the night before, simply make enough for lunch the next day. When you're cleaning up, just go ahead and put a portion into a tupperware container for his lunch the next day. And yes, he definitely NEEDS to start helping more around the house so it's not all up to you. For instance, if you leave something for him in the fridge, then HE should be able to get up and put it in a lunch bag in the morning! I mean- come on! Marriage is a partnership and it seems that he leaves most things to you which isn't fair at all!!!
2007-07-30 14:26:22 · answer #2 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you marry someone, you marry their family as well. It's just how life goes. If he doesn't want to see your family, that is his prerogative. I don't think it's very nice but it is what it is. You should not have to chose though. If he wants to see his family, he can. When he goes to see his family, you go to see yours. Don't make excuses for him, just be honest. He certainly does not seem to appreciate everything you do. Stop doing some of it. Let him come home from work and you not be there. Be at your family's place. Let him know that since you don't get to see them on the weekends and you love your family that this was the only thing you could think of. He is a grown man and can cook his own dinner from time to time. Responsibilities of the house should be shared. It's not all on you. As some have said, counseling probably isn't a bad idea.
2007-07-30 14:34:19 · answer #3 · answered by roshambo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a similar situatio My husband doesn't like my mom and his doesn't want me. He wants to call his mom and hang out with them but they don't like me and even lied on me before. She eve said when I was pregnant with our daughter that he better sure the baby is his then she came out looking like his mom. Now she loves her. Stick up for yourself. Next time he goes to his family's call your mom and have her pick you up. You deserve better. Stop fixing his breakfast and lunch he is grown let him do something.
2007-07-30 14:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by TELO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are what we call a mule. A mule is a beast of burden that gets worked and worked mercilessly and then when we're done working it we put it down.
You need to stop being your husbands mule, it's that simple. If you stop being his mule you may lose him but you will gain much more in self respect and dignity and happiness in the long run.
2007-07-30 14:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are Miss Perfect and he doesn't do a damn thing.
There are two sides to every story and you haven't even hinted at his side. Life isn't all about you. If you can open your eyes and honestly see what each of you do for each other then great. However, if you can't see the good in him then he deserves better than you.
2007-07-30 14:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't care what you want to do. He has you "trained". He loves it like that. Why wouldn't he? I'd pack myself up when he is at work and leave. No doubt about that. You are a doormat, I'm sorry to say. But you got yourself into this and only you can get yourself out.
2007-07-30 14:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont devorce! stick to your husband and work something out! thats very unfair of him to say that! and for a week dont cook him anything just be like i dont ahve time blah blah and then tell him how you feel and hopefully next time he will appreciate it
2007-08-03 12:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you married the winner, quit your bellyaching woman and go make him cheese sammiches for lunch before he comes home
2007-07-30 14:18:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋