I just read an article discussing how people (women moreso) are viewed as less nice when they ask for what the want. In this particular article it was dealing with salary. I thought that it was interesting that in knowing what you want and asking for it you are considered less nice.
I have been called mean before and I don't understand why, I don't intend any harm on people and most of the times I am called mean I'm just protecting my own rights.
I guess my questions is it a bad thing to ask for what you want?
2007-07-30 06:39:03 · 5 answers · asked by Nick 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I would make sure that you are asking whatever you are wanting nicely and politely. I don't see why people would think of you as mean, unless you were taking advantage of them by asking them for things that you want all of the time.
There are limits that you should take when asking for things, because people will see you as being selfish and greedy if you ask them for things that you want to much.
It also depends on what you're asking for, such as, if you're asking for something really expensive, then they will take it that you are selfish. The same goes with always asking for money.
Your best bet is to just try to do things for yourself, and be independent and not depend on other people to do stuff for you.
2007-07-30 06:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh, I'm accused of not being nice. why? I simply say that hurts, please stop. Or you hurt my feelings. I'm considered mean by simply saying what I don't want.
My roommate/ex (we briefly dated-it wasn't working out) Like he'll constantly grovel (I don't like that) I'll ask him if he'd like a a juice or something and he jumps up to get it. This is a great guy, but, I offer to help or ask him what he wants and he just doesn't want my help or kindness returned or I don't know. When I mention that he just hurt my feelings he'd say that I should be nice, or that I am mean. or that that's a really harsh thing to lay on a guy????? I know what you mean. I get confused about what he wants or needs from me. He's 56 and I'm 38. I'm not a child but he talks baby talk to me all the time. He really is a nice guy, but he's made me out to be this shrud. I can't help but feel like a jurk all the time. And I either clam up and say nothing or I say something and I'm mean why he's doing this.
2007-07-30 06:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not that asking for something makes you a mean, but sometimes people perceive that as being narcissistic, but if you don't let people know what it is you want, how are they ever going to know? I say ask, but in the right situations, go ahead and ask for a raise at work, but don't ask for somebody to go get you a specific birthday present
2007-07-30 06:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by Loki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not bad at all. Just historically woman are shown as quite and reserved. When a woman knows what she wants and lets it be known then she is viewed negatively by her peers. Its the double standard that our culture puts on woman that's it.
2007-07-30 06:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by Danny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes you "less nice" only in the eyes of insecure men who can't handle an assertive woman.
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2007-07-30 06:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋