I am a 30 year old divorced mom. I have been in a relationship for 18 months with a great guy, but things that have happened have made me "distant" from him and wanting out of the relationship, which I have asked to have it to be over. He can not seem to let go, and while we start talking about the relationship, he tends to becoem upset and angry and like to hit the walls, doors etc. I have no feelings at the moment, but agreed to stay, because he says he needs me. I am lost and do not know what to do anymore.
2007-07-30 06:14:19 · 30 answers · asked by justamomof3boys 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've been there and you need to get out while you can. A person who behaves like this man is someone who is losing control and right now it's the walls soon it will be you. He behaves this way because he fears he can't handle losing control of his life of which you are a big part of and that scares the hell out of him. Don't you see the red flags? Your not lost just scared, you need to get away from him before things get way out of control. I'm sure he scares you with this behavior then he apologizes and says he won't do it again but it does? This behavior is repetitive and it escalates and I'm telling you for your safety and that of any of your children or child. These guys are possessive and claim to be that way because they LOVE you. This is not love, I had to find out the hard way. Take it from someone who knows. Please leave.
2007-07-30 06:26:56 · answer #1 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him. He gets physically angry when you talk about ending it? He sounds like he might become dangerous in the future (near future). And seriously, if you ahve to ask "Will I ever be happy..." I think it pretty much says it all...but if it isn't clear, then here it is: NO.
You've been through a divorce, why put yourself through another hell?! You deserve better. You're not even married and you have to feel like your walking on egg shells and trying to make things work? Come on! You have to be smarter than this question. You sound like you already know that you've got to go, but you need the courage from these responses (nothing happens to all of us if you stay or leave). Think about what's best for you. You're still young, you have so many opportunities to be happy. Don't stay at then spend the rest of your years wondering why you let this happen!
2007-07-30 06:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by StarGazer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have another person with you, or out to dinner in a public place. Tell him once again that it is over, it is time to move on. Explain that you do not want to have any other contact with him, it will be easier for you to move on. If he continues to contact you let him know you will get a restraining order against him. Once you leave your public place go staight to meet up with some friends and make sure he is not following you, he sounds like it could get out of hand.
Do not do your normal things for a while, do go to the same hangouts, take a different way to work, come home at a different time. Change things so that he can not follow you as easy, or easily excuse his behavior as to why he was in the same place as you.
Get out and be careful.
2007-07-30 06:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happyness is on its way but u would have to let go to find it. It helped me to be friends with someone for a long time before I get into a relationship. When u get back in the dating game just make friends and see where love takes u. (If he's hit walls and doors then one day it i might be you, but I pray that doesnt happen.) an take care of self first, love self first and love will find u.
God bless you
2007-07-30 06:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by da1kedda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are just in the relationship because of his wants and needs. Life is too short to settle. If you have to ask this question then chances are you KNOW you need to leave...not to mention he seems like he is playing off your pitty for him. And if this is the case, then leave- because he will try to keep you no matter what he has to do...and it could turn into violence..I was in a situation like this...and it hurts to have to end it- but nothing good will come out of this and you know it deep down inside.
2007-07-30 06:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by Enchanted One 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get out quick. He obviously has misplaced anger and I would run before he takes that aggression out on you instead of the walls, etc. I was there. I let a guy manipulate me for 3 years. The more he hit me, the more he made me feel that I provoked it and he made me think it was all my fault. Don't let him get to you. Just end it before it gets worse.
Good luck!
2007-07-30 06:18:27 · answer #6 · answered by Mom of two 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who becomes violent is someone YOU don't need. You need to stand by your conviction to leave, and while of course it will hurt both of you, it seems like you're ready to be done with it and leaving will be better for everyone. However, I would caution you to have a safe place to go once you finally end in, just in case be chooses to become violent. Let him know that it's not a reflection on him, but YOU need it to be over.
2007-07-30 06:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are either staying out of fear or pity. Neither is a good reason. You need to find a way to leave as soon as possible. You say you're a mom, it's not healthy for your children to see you in this type of a relationship either.
2007-07-30 06:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by AriesJWR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't wanna be in the relationship then get out while there's time!! By the looks of things he has a temper and you never know the next hit he make my miss the WALL . . . (if u know what I mean.)
2007-07-30 06:20:37 · answer #9 · answered by Alisa M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question isn't if you will ever be happy, the question is will you ever allow happiness to flow into your life and relationships. If he is getting that angry, you shouldn't be with him anyway, let go and let live before he hurts you. You can be happy, but this realtionship is ruled by angst nad anger, not happiness. You can be happy, you just have to allow yourself to be, and you have to move on from the things in life that are causing you not to be happy or blocking happiness.
2007-07-30 06:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋