Why does everybody on here speak for all men?

Question

Im always reading questions and answers on here about "all" men fantasing/wanting 3-somes with him,his wife and another woman..Why does everybody speak for every man in the world..My husband and i have been happily married 16 yrs and sometimes i tell him about these questions and answers and i told him everybody says if a man says he has never had that kind of fantasy then he is either lying or gay and my husband ask me why i listen to people who dont even know him...This conversation came about cause i answered a question awhile back about husbands and 3-somes and i said i know my husband and i know the kind of man he is and he never ever mentioned that kinda of fantasy cause he doesnt believe in that kinda thing in a marriage and he would never wanna do that either and some guy said he was either lying or gay cause all men have this fantasy and i told hubby about that and he said "why do you listen to those people they dont know me"..

So why does everybody put all men in the same category..I know my husband and i know that he would never want this kinda thing and im sure there are millions of other men who are like this...Not all men need/want another woman in their bed.

Well chris my husband isnt lying and believe me he isnt gay either.

Plus chris i know my husband you DONT he only desires me.

John i dont want to do a 3 way with another person..That kinda thing is not for me..My husband and i only need/want each other.

Well chris when i told him about these questions and answers i ask if he ever had fantasies of a 3-some and he said "only you and me baby your all i want and need".

Answer 1

There's a lot of immaturity and foolishness on this site. One sure sign of immaturity and/or foolishness is the assertion that all people (or men, or women) believe or behave in the same way that the self-appointed spokesperson does.

Unfortunately, age doesn't always beget wisdom, or maturity, so we'll keep hearing this stuff as long as we participate in such forums as this. I think your husband has the perfect answer.

PS--speaking of blanket assertions, what gives you the right to say that "everybody" on here speaks for all men?

Answer 2

The more appropriate way to word questions and answers is definitely to say "some" or "most". Implying all of any group does the same thing or thinks the same way is almost always going to be incorrect, however I think the vast majority of people know that all 3+ billion males on this planet don't think the same way.

You're just taking it literally, and that's your choice...'most all of us know there are exceptions to most rules...even though MANY men do fantasize about 3-somes. If your husband does not, that's fine...but he's an exception and in the minority (at least as far as men in the US goes). ☺ Having a fantasy about something doesn't mean the person ever actually would want to do it...that's what's kewl about fantasies, they're safe (but some guys will also lie about what they fantasize about or evening having fantasies because it can bring out insecurities in their partner).

Answer 3

Chris didn't say your husband was lying. Chris said your husband neither admitted nor denied that he has at least once fantasized about a threesome. Chris also did not say your husband was gay. See, in your explanation, you do not say that your husband has told you he has never had the fantasy, just that he has never *told you* that he has had the fantasy. It's an important distinction.

Later edit: Ha! "Only you and me baby. You're all I want and need" is STILL neither an admission nor a denial that he has ever had the fantasy. He did not say he has fantasized about a threesome, and he did not say that he hasn't. Apparently, your husband knows you're pretty easy to manipulate with a little verbal beating around the bush.

Answer 4

No man speaks for all men, and your perception of this is erroneous.

If you want to do a three way with another woman, why not just ask your husband instead of all this preoccupied beating around the bush?

And that is what this question is really about, isn't it?

Answer 5

Humans value commonality in that it gives them a sense of validation in ways that keep them from feeling isolated in their appetites or somewhat aberrant in their behavior....so to "legitimize" their position they tend to lump everyone together. Your husband is right....there are too many people on the earth and too many possible combinations of values for anyone to reliably assume authority to speak for other human beings. But the reason we solicit opinions in the first place is part of my original premise: we sometimes need the validation of other points of view to see how we compare to the rest of mainstream schools of thought. (But just so you'll know this fact: I have never had the slightest interest in a threesome either and I am 100% heterosexual). There are as many different sensibilities among men as there are men on the planet.

Answer 6

I hate it when people are all inclusive about their statements regarding the different sexes. I try to say "some" or "many", but never "all". My husband is like yours....He has never had fantasies about being with another woman and myself...It just isn't him. He is a one woman guy. And he isn't gay either.

Answer 7

B/c people assume that everyone who doesn't agree w/ them are just crazy. And men can't believe that other men might not have their same shortcomings. :)
I agree w/ you. I know my husband doesn't need or want another woman to be happy. Does that mean he doesn't look at other women, and think, she's attractive? Of course not! But, he can tell me, hey I really like that shirt, w/out me getting all crazy jealous, and I can go buy it myself, b/c I know what he likes! lol! But, we satisfy each other in bed.
I don't like it when people speak for an entire group of people, and assume they're all like that, b/c they haven't met any decent men yet.

Answer 8

I've never said all men do anything. It's very obvious to me that all men and women for that matter are different. It seems that the response the guy gave you really upset you. If you know that your husband is not like that, why let it bother you?

Answer 9

The same reason as to why any argument, statement, or act by any one individual is defined as something for an entire group by many people. They are fallacious arguments. People make them all the time and, for some reason, never have to produce the facts to confirm the analysis.

Answer 10

ok listen people are not as lucky as you people dont allways find the people of their dreams my mother wasmarried to my father for 10 yers and he cheated on my mother he said he was going to have a guys night out but i just found out it was actualy is wife to be and i was at a birthday party when he left i came home my entire family was in the living room crying and my dad spent all of my birthday party money on a bike