Has anyone else faced this? We are not divorced and her boyfriend is not divorced and he is bringing his daughter with him.
So my kids and his kid will spend a week with these two adulterers. Any suggestions?
2007-07-30 05:31:18 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need a family law attorney. Pursue the divorce and in the meantime, see if the lawyer can get a restraining order to grant you temporary custody so that your children are not exposed to this. I would think you have a good argument, but you need a lawyer to pursue it.
2007-07-30 05:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by lmnop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you do have rights because they are your children and you aren't divorced. You could ask a lawyer about that. You could also consult a play therapist or kids pychologist about the situation and the harm it may cause. If they think it is bad, you could tell your wife, what they said. If that doesn't work, then tell her you will bring it up in court when you get a divorce, and that it was morally wrong, and you have proof and that will make her look like an irresponsible parent and make you look better.
Otherwise, I dont' think you can do anything about it. What if roles were reversed and you were the one doing this...
If anything, I would talk to her about what the kids would think and try to make her see your side and what is best for the kids.
2007-07-30 05:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by smart S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust your wife then let the kids go. Chances are if they are willing to sleep together in the same room on vacation - then they've already slept over with the kids in the house anyway and if they've been doing that, then there's not much you can do without making the mother out to be an a$$ in front of the kids. If you feel they are safe then let it go.
Let your kids get away and have some fun. The divorce isn't just stressful on you and kids need a release too.
2007-07-30 05:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Button 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you didn't really offer enough information to answer this question well. Are you separated? Have you both agreed to a divorce? If divorce is inevitable and you are both desirous of it, then I don't see why this should upset you that much. Afterall, couldn't you get a girlfriend and take the kids to Hawaii or something? Relationships fail all of the time. Unfortunately its happening to you....but things will get better and you'll find someone else, if that's what you want. But you both deserve to live your own lives in such a way as to make you both as happy as possible. My advice is to let it go and be as accepting and gracious and grown-up (for the sake of yourself and your kids) as you can be. Although I'd also say that its okay to be pissed off at her....just don't obsess over your anger or let it lead down an unsafe and unwise path.
2007-07-30 05:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still live together? Do you have a separation agreement? Does your wife have custody? If not, why are the children with your wife and not with you? Is the divorce going forward? Are you going to ask for custody? If so, you may want to bring this incident up with the Court, although it probably won't mean much. Throwing the term "adulterers" around doesn't mean much, or help your cause.
2007-07-30 05:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by Stephen L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure you have any ground to stand on this. If you're not divorced, is there a separation agreement in place? If so, there has to be something pretty well stated about this. If its not, no, nothing that you can do, more than likely.
I understand your point, of right/right, wrong/wrong, and the fact that another man is taking your place on a vacation. Let it ride. If/when this newer relationship dissolves, it'll be your wife that looks like the bad guy if your kids have bad memories of this particular trip. Sad to say, morals aren't in separation/divorce agreements these days.
2007-07-30 05:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you just not let them go? They are your children, too. I understand that you are not divorced so there is not anything legal in writing stating "the rules" but I have heard of several divorces including wording that would state that significant others may not spend the night when the children are visiting that parent. Truly a sad state of affairs...no pun intended.
2007-07-30 05:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by OOO! I know! I know! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um yeah....divorce her butt, call that guys wife and tip her off, and then tell your cheating wife that your kids will not be spending a week with two adulterers. File for sole custody of the kids.
2007-07-30 05:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm... Youre kidding right? How bout grow a spine? Why dont you tell her she better get her sh*t and get out. If she wants him she can have him 24/7 and then he can put up with her sh*t. Or how about say yah thats cool why dont you guys ride together and save some gas? Then when he pulls up at your house you run outside and stick your foot up his @ss for messing with your woman and then in front of him while hes snivelling on the ground in a pool of his piss and blood tell her what a f##king c&nt she is. See maybe if you had a little bit more attitude like "I dont care what you think youre going to do I have a set of balls and Im a man and this isnt going on in my house youre not taking my da#n kids anywhere beeyotch!" she'd be respecting you and being your little sex kitten on weekends.
2007-07-30 05:42:42 · answer #9 · answered by timssterling 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have faced something similair with my exhusband, he decided to leave me and go with a younger "funner" (his words) woman, and i just want to say that it's a hard thing to go through and i understand. but let me tell you here the best thing i ever did for our daughter was to make sure that she understood that mom and dad love her both very much. you cant do anything until you have a court agreement in which child custody is settled and even that may be unsatisfactory. then the important thing is to NEVER TALK TRASH ABOUT YOUR EX. your ex is the kids mom and they will never forget the things you say or do. i have never said a bad word about my exhusband (around my kid haha) because your problem is with the ex not the kids. i dont think there is anything you can do about this situation unless the children are being taken across state lines...then she needs to have your approval to take the children in the form of a legalized letter generally from a lawyer or notary public.
but the best way to deal with it is to allow her her freedom and be the bigger person. DONT let it get to you. DONT involve your children. DONT ever talk badly about her or the boyfriend. DO let the children know it's ok that mom and dad dont love eachother cause boy oh boy do you guys ever love the kids. DO smother your wife with kindness( i was going to say kill her with kindness, as is the saying around here but erm...maybe not)
the irony is that i am now happily married to my new husband who is a wonderful second father to our daughter and my exhusband is still a wonderful dad to our dauther AND we have a wonderful new paradigm to the relationship. my ex and my husband get along wonderfully well. we have our daughters birthday party at our house with BOTH fathers and my husband even got my ex husband a fathers day gift "just because it reminded the one of the other"
as i said this took years of practice but you can be the bigger person and you will be. allow your ex the freedom she wants. and dont be petty and angry even tho it hurts A LOT. Im sorry youre going through this but it will pass. and then when the kids are 18 they will know that you were the best possible father they could want. BECAUSE YOU ARE!!!
2007-07-30 05:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Fission Chips 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋