Why do men want to swing? and my man says he wants to do it, what does it mean? he also said he doesnt want to actually have sex, but just get turned on...he said he can never imagine me being with another guy....
2007-07-30 04:06:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only things i want swinging in my marriage are my balls
2007-07-30 04:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by havanadig 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
"Why do men want to swing?"
Because it's a pretty cool fantasy and men have, traditionally, been afforded more sexual freedoms than women. That means they haven't been told that "nice boys don't [insert nasty fun here]." They get a slap on the back and hearty, "Atta boy!"
Then they find out that *gasp* it's actually a playground for WOMEN, not the sexual smorgasbord for men that they thought it would be. But by then they've awoken the "sleeping dragon" and the "little woman" finds out that she really enjoys calling the shots. Thus the saying that men get the couple into swinging, but it's the women who keep them swinging.
"and my man says he wants to do it, what does it mean?"
I have no idea. I don't know the man. Lots of people will say it's because he's bored or unsatisfied with you, or a pervert or sex addict. Or maybe he doesn't have a clue what love and respect and committment mean. But no one can know that but you and him. It's entirely possible that he is still fully satisfied with you, but he's just wanting to take your relationship to the next level. WITH you, not just dragging you along behind. Best way to know is to ask him flat out what he thinks this means for your relationship and what this says about his feelings for you. Then you just have to trust what he says.
"he also said he doesnt want to actually have sex, but just get turned on...he said he can never imagine me being with another guy...."
While this may just be him telling you what you want to hear, to ease you into it, he may actually be telling the truth. Guys aren't all ruled by their ******, you know. Some of them are masters of their domain. ;)
What he's talking about trying is called "soft swinging". This is generally limited to having sex in the same room as another couple who are having sex. Exhibitionism/voyeurism, if you will. Activities can range from sticking strictly to ones own partner to mild, moderate or heavy petting, to oral sex with other people. Once you cross the line past oral intercourse, it's called "full or hard swap". The lifestyle has a infinitely variable comfort level knob. You only do what you're comfortable with.
One thing I'll say is this: do NOT allow him to talk you into doing anything that you are uncomfortable with physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. If you do, you WILL regret it. Also, be sure to let him know that what's good for the goose is good for he gander. Double standards (he can play but you can't??!!) are BS. Don't go there. If he can't make rules that apply to you both, don't play the game.
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2007-07-30 20:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by intuition897 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHOA!!!!
What is good for the goose is good for the gander they always say,,,,,and my personal opinion, if you have to go elsewhere to just get turned on, then something is wrong. You can add spice to your sex life and your relationship without bringing another live person in on it.
I know some people who have had open marriages, and others who have done the swinging thing, and others who only talked about it.
IT WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS EVENTUALLY!!!!!
You don't sound to me like this is something that you are really into, and don't be one of those who will do ANYTHING for your man,,,,,,
I refused it for years, so he went and cheated on me, and lied to me,,,,and do you know how I knew he was cheating?
OUR sex practices changed,,,,not subtly, DRASTICALLY,,,,he got more violent, way more exploratory, and at the end, down right disrespectful,,,,,,there was no longer any love in how we 'made-love'---
Please don't consider this,,,,,,,,
Just break it down to him like this,
If I am not enough for you, then we have a problem,
and obviously, the problem isn't with me, because I am not the one wanting to be with another person just to get turned on.
please just don't. This has bad news written all over it, I CAN FEEL IT!!!!!
Respect yourself more than that, if he won't, then you most certainly need to!
Protect yourself please!!!!!!
2007-07-30 11:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by trinity3x3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swinging is having sex with another person or couple. If you're just watching then you're not swinging. What does he want to watch if he doesn't want to see you with someone else? I don't swing, but if I did and I had a couple come over and all we did was dry hump and get turned on that would be a complete letdown. If you don't want to do it, don't.
2007-07-30 11:11:00 · answer #4 · answered by Beth 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Swinging is where married couples swap partners. So if he doesn't want to actually have sex then he's a voyeur not a swinger. Which is cool. Go to a swingers club in your area and the two of you can watch folks get freaky.
But what goes for him, must go for you as well...you have to be open with one another and both of you have to communicate and be comfortable with anything that happens.
2007-07-30 11:22:24 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Swinging is when you voluntarily have sex with another women's husband. You have sex with the guy and your husband has sex with his wife. Ummm. You have to be really comfortable with your husband and have an extremely open relationship to do something like that
2007-07-30 11:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
swinging is when couples sitch up you are with the other wife's husband and she is with your man and most of the time men want to see the women together
2007-07-30 11:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by DIXIEMS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so his idea of swinging is he can do another woman, but won't let you be with another man. I would advice you to keep this a fantasy and not to entertain the idea of actually doing it. This will lead to nothing but jealousy and a hurt ful divorce.
2007-07-30 11:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men don't want to swing, your husband does. It means he has no idea what love is. I suggest you put boundries on the relationship and don't let him pass them.
Take a moment for yourself and think this out logically. I know you will resolve that his desire to swing is from his impure nature and it needs to be controlled. If he can't do it . . then you may need to find someone who can.
2007-07-30 11:20:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't fall for it! Men are sex addicts...that's all that means. And i don't think ANY wife should sit by and let her husband sleep or even make out with other women. Because he's lying, if he says he will just get turned on and not have sex. It doesn't work that way. Tell him that either he has you or he has his girls and he CAN'T have both. Who/What does he love more?
2007-07-30 11:10:58 · answer #10 · answered by laangel464 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋