"Love"
The love of the most innocent
Beyond measure and without consent
Is increasiningly common among
The dreams of the past.
Without the love of the child
That walks by your door every night
And sleeps by your side within
The cavities of your heartbroken
Soul,
The world pulses with delight
At the evanescent appearance of
The pure lily within our essence.
No mind
Is without love and
No heart
Without consent...
Contracts beneath the flesh,
Expected of today.
I am this child
Beneath your lie, beneath
Your mind of thoughts, not your tears, angst, or sacrifices.
Come back to me, your life is mine, as well as yours.
But tonight, lies will fade, and nothing exists between us.
2007-07-30 03:24:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anthony C 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
The child within us needs
To appear,
For our comfort.
Life is harsh, as we grow older.
The child will never die within us.
2007-07-30 03:44:58 · update #1
some lines need more elaboration, i think if you did work on that your lines would have a more consistent flow.
2007-07-30 03:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by Je Suis Femme 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A ver: ¿me permites?
Amor,
compuesto por Anthony
traducido por cafe' ground zero, a.k.a hajgora siete
El amor de inocentes
Más allá del consentimiento
Yá se ha pasado, más y más
a los suenyos del olvido.
Sin los amores del infante
Que cada noche viene al alcobe
y duerme a tu costado,
entrando a los huecos mas secretos
de tu corazo'n,
El mundo late con felicidad
Al florecer el lirio puro
dentro de tu esencia pura.
No hay pensar
sin un amor
No circula sangre
sin un permiso...
pulsando el mio cor aqui en centro
Soy este ninyo
Escondiendo detrás tus mentiras
Tu manera de pensar, en crisis de nervios, tus lagrimas o sacrificios.
Volved a mi, que to vida es mia tanto
como la mia sea tuya.
Empero esta noche mentiras derriteran
y entre nosotros no habrá
nada.
2007-08-04 19:01:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first stanza is great. I stumbled a little through the middle, but kept up with the flow. The end doesn't live up to the beginning, I feel...for me, it could just stop at "...lie, beneath."
Overall...good...get out the clippers and give it a haircut.
2007-07-30 10:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by TD Euwaite? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is confusing
a poem isn't an outpouring of your feelings. It is a SNAPSHOT - it is like when you take your camera and take a picture and you capture a moment on film, but with a poem you use words and you create a mental picture and not a visual picture.
2007-07-30 10:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by art_flood 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOVE HOW IS IT?POEM
http://universalvibrations.com/
2007-08-06 00:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by ragaa! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am unclear on the primary message of the poem. There are some uncompleted thoughts.
2007-07-30 10:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Bob T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good i like it! !0!
2007-08-06 03:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sh00ting_St@r! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its beautiful i love it
2007-07-30 10:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by hannah* 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋