My husband and i have been happily married 15 yrs and saturday night we went out with my sister and her husband..Well the conversationed turned to sex and my sister said her and her husband have 3-somes all the time and my husband and i were totally shocked about this and they ask us if we ever did this and we both said NO WAY that is not for us..My husband said thats a really sick and disguisting thing to do in a marriage and he would never do that cause im enough for him..Well my sister said to him that every man has had this fantasy and he told her he never did and she told him he is lying cause all men want this and that he is only saying this cause i was there otherwise he would tell the truth..After we got home i ask him about this and he got mad at me and said he was telling the truth and that my sister doesnt know crap about what he would or wouldnt want..He is still mad at me now and i dont know what to do..He is still not talking to me...I just figured my sister was right.
2007-07-30 03:11:31 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. This is apparently a very sensitive issue for your husband and he has strong feelings about it.
It wasn't right for your sister to push the issue. By the time you got home, he was probably seething about it. Asking right away may have just been bad timing.
Not every guy has this "fantasy", and your husband is proof of it. You've got a great man there!
Go talk to him. Tell him that you weren't trying to make him more mad and that you're happy that all he wants is you. After that, I'd never bring up the issue again. You may also want to mention it to your sister that the topic is now off limits.
Good luck!
2007-07-30 03:18:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nicole - Men are more complex than women think they are. We are not totally controlled by our sexual urges and contrary to popular beliefs we do not endlessly dwell on sex.
I find it frustrating that your immediate reaction to your husband's anger is that he is guilty. I would be angry also if my wife thought I wanted to have sex with her and another woman. Why is it so hard to believe that a man can be monogamous and faithful? In today's world I am seeing women becoming increasingly aggressive sexually and so they seem to believe if it is in their heart then it must definitely be in men's hearts much stronger. This is not true.
Innocent until proved guilty. Talk to your husband and if need be apologize for questioning his faithfulness. But innocent until proved guilty can also go the other way, I am not proclaiming his innocence, it might be as you fear. I can only say what is in my heart - not all men desire to have women other than their wives.
Also, anyone that includes ALL men or women in any statement is almost always a shallow thinker.
I hope for the best for you.
2007-07-30 03:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jim 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is angry with you for not trusting him when he said he didn't want to have a 3-some. It cannot be true that every man wants to have a 3-some... maybe a good bit of them, but not every man! It is a fantasy, but not something that they all want to actually act on. Just be happy that you have someone who loves you and feels like you are all he needs. Tell him you are sorry for not trusting him in what he said. That is all you can do, give him time to get over it.
2007-07-30 03:19:06 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will blow over. You have been with him for that long and should know what he would and would not want. If you are that worried make a romantic dinner with candles and such and get dressed up(sexy) and a man can not be mad when hes got good food and potential night of sex in front of him.
2007-07-30 03:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't have assumed anything in the first place. why did you not trust your husband? hasnt he proven to you that he only preferred you for the last 15 years you were together? talk to him and get to know him better about this. Stay calm and appear that you really want to listen to him and he won't get mad.
2007-07-30 03:19:47 · answer #5 · answered by blueberrymuffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your husband, not your sister. Your sister could of been trying to see how your husband felt to see if he was interested in being with her and her husband!
Your husband only wants to be with you, and know you need to reassure him that is the case for you too! Next time your sister starts going on about her sex life, tell her yours is full enough and you are not interested in hers or her being part of your sex life!.
2007-07-30 03:27:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respected your husband's character more than you worry about your own insecurities (read as your fragile ego), you wouldn't have asked about such classless stuff when he has already told you what he thinks of this nonsense.
But you asked. BTW, you have loser relatives.
2007-07-30 04:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister was right. All men would love a three some. That is their big fantasy. Your sister may have been out of line to argue his answer. But just so you know, he would love one he probably won't admit to it out of respect for you. Which is fine, he is being a gentleman. I wouldn't worry about it he'll get over it.
2007-07-30 03:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first~ are you crazy for sharing something so intimate like that with your husband insight, even if its with your sister?
second~ you believed her over your husband and you admitted to it. Id be pissed off at you too!
and truly who is your sister to tell your husband what he desires and not? she doesnt know him to the core no one does, but himself. Give him some room, let him cool off, stop going to your sister for advise about this, cause Im sure you are and she needs to mind her own business when it pertains to your love life!
2007-07-30 03:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by TLC25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband says hands feel weird?
2016-11-13 04:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋