Happy poem please?

Question

So, this is the thing. This morning I realized that I've lost my paycheck and I locked myself out of my house and had to ask my Grammy to take me to my brother's work to get the house key. I feel like poo and would like a happy, funny poem to make me feel better.

Can you help?

Oh, and poems praising my greatness are also welcome ... but funny ones are the best.

Thanks guys. I knew my Y!Harem would come through for me.

Answer 1

Not really a poem, but here (sorry your day is horrific):

He had a good arm,
everyone told him..
Could hit the left wing
off a fly at fifty yards.
Been clocked at 90 mph
with the wind in his face.

What did it matter though,
no scout gave him a look.
He’d never make it
to the Bigs.
Strike ‘em out? Sure he could!
Cy Young? Bah!
They’d rename the award after him.
Despite his talents,
the league was closed.
It would always be closed.
Because,
no one,
just no one,
you hear me, no one

wanted a monkey
flinging poo,.
even if it went real fast.

Answer 2

I have to apologize - I cannot find anything funny to write about when you have awoken to realize the world is a giant cow and you got up on the wrong side of the bed ...

I cannot even rhyme today I tried and tried and said no way.

I mean no check - no key ... we are all thankful for granny, eh?

your brother made me grateful and I felt kind of sad

To think he had a key - that I never had ...

So - because I cannot write today worth a darn,

I figured a parable instead that would bring no harm.

This is one that always makes me smile alot,

the meaning is deep and makes my brain get hot.

For you Cinnamon I shall now write it down,

In hopes it turn turns your frowns competely around:


Here goes - sorry I could not write a peom - it just seems too ackward under the circumstances ... here is the parable and I would like you to think on it - over a double shot ... as that may help you understand the deeper secrets of this parable:

"NO MATTER HOW FAR OR HOW HIGH THE CROW FLIES -

YOU CAN ALWAYS BREAK THE GLASS WITH A HAMMER"

I hope that helped you ... alot and I hope you are not grading me on my grammer; as, my grammer really stinks.

Then again she has been dead for 10 years ...

Peace;

Aintmyfault

Answer 3

Cinnamon, Cinnamon, Cinnamon,
What's to do for you?
A paycheck lost, and now locked out,
Of course you're feeling blue!
If we should all be like that,
We'd all be suck in poo!
All blue and brown
And brown and blue
With sickly frown
And stinking too!

But such a mess must surely be
Comical to some with eyes to see
The humour there that holds the key
To the chaos of absurdity.

Notify employer, get payment stopped
New check and key cut
The problem is topped.
Thank God that people love you,
You've a story now to tell.
I'm sure you know what to do
And sure you'll do it well.
But don't forget the laughter,
It's much better far than tears;
It's that sigh the morning after
Undoing all our fears.

Answer 4

Has any body here lost there keys
Don't think, don't pat your pockets
But look through the letter box
and see em on the table

When in that moment of madness you ate your phone bill
And only later did you realize it was your paycheck
Such is the nature of the predicament that we explore
Where you perceive the first glimpse
That you are well and truly buggered
Where all the crap falls inwards to disrupt your cozy journey

Skint and locked out
Two ways to be thoroughly pissed off
With a situation that is so unkind
Blind! and bollocks you'll have to ring your brother
And boy is he gonna take the piss

Has any body here lost there keys
Don't think, don't pat your pocket
But sit on the doorstep
and wait for your bro.

Answer 5

On mornings like this, perhaps it becomes important to maintain a healthy appreciation of the absurd...
-----------
Perspective

With newfound dismay
o'er new disarray,
we need to recall
an approach to it all
that allows a fresh laugh
at today's latest gaffe.

We know nature's best
can be mocked by the rest.
Unicorn off-key sings,
and the monkey poo flings;
a giraffe may well fidget,
if whale calls "midget."

So when you're locked out,
and your check's not about,
just bust out a giggle
and let loose your wiggle.
It all will be fine,
and the sun again shine.

Answer 6

A waltz for milady…

Life in the yard is crappy,
Locked out of the house again,
I better call up my Grammy,
She’s gotta’ key, let me in…

Oh, where heck is my paycheck,
It must have fell out of my purse,
I better not drive or I will wreck,
How can my day get any worse…

I called up the people I work for,
Then logged on to my friends on Yahoo,
I know they will offer me comfort,
Or hand me a sack of poo poo!

Answer 7

Never Wake Up Tired
by Recital Vinylist

I woke up late this morning
(A 2 pm "cuckoo!")
I felt like death warmed over and
I didn't know what to do

I brushed my teeth with Aeroshave
I shaved with Ultra-Brite
My teeth, they felt so naked
and my face gave off a light.

I rinsed my mouth with Mr.Bubble
Took a bath in Scope
So never wake up tired,
You'll be running out of rope!

Answer 8

Cinnimin loves to warble and sing
as she dances and spins like a top.
She yodels and croons like romantic raccoon.
We've complained but she simply won't stop.

Cinnimin chirps and she gargles and burps
as she wiggles her hands in the air.
She jumps up and down like a rodeo clown
while the rest of us sit there and stare.

Cinnimin chants as she breaks into dance.
It's like watching a crazy burlesque.
We try to be kind, and I don't think we'd mind,
but she does this in Yahoo on our desk.

Answer 9

Special is someone named Cinnamon
She just needs tea with sugar and lemon.
She needs to laugh and giggle.
So, stand right up girl and wiggle.
Hop around and make funny faces.
Think of all those cool childhood places.
You will get through this horrible day,
If you just allow yourself to stay and play!!!
I hope your day gets sooo much better;
If not just ask me and I will write you a letter.

I hope that helps :) Feel better, soon!!!

Your Y!A Friend,
Mum

P.S. You should go to http://simpsonizeme.com ! You get to make yourself into a Simpson! It is sooo fun; it sure cheered me up " )

Answer 10

alas Milady Major English, Stoogito feo, porongo poquito chose to insult your honor... I will duel him tomorrow morning, I was the insulted party and I choose a 10 gage shotgun at one foot.
(snickers) Stoogito, what would you know about any hanky-panky ? you grind your own organ... but I understand, we all must start somehow, the best way is to create myths about ourselves, that is what the gods did....

OK, Milady Major, if this will not make you giggle, I give up... make sure sound is on, please, this is Stooge (left) and Penfold enjoying Penfold's new TV:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9200292154019671379&q=funniest+commercials+plasma+tv&total=33&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0