i'm having trusting issues with my boyfriend :[ help?! please?

Question

we've been together for almost two years now.
this past year has been good, but our first year was a total mess.
he cheated on me twice, he always flirted with other women, and he told me that he'd always picture being with them instead of me. which in that year, i lost my trust towards him, and hes knows that.

this year he hasnt cheated yet, but i always get the feeling that he is. whenever i try talking to him about it all he says is that he wont do it ever again, but he said that the first time too.
ive talked to my counciler and she's not to sure.
my parents adore him to death and i for one am inlove with him.
i'm just not sure if i can go on not being able to trust him.
but then again i do love and care about him with all my heart.

Answer 1

I think maybe you need to find someone else cause you will always wonder when he is not around you if he is cheating with someone and that is no way to live dear get rid of his cheating behind and you will be much happier with someone you can trust . I am surprised that your counselor did not tell you the same thing . good luck .

Answer 2

Trust is the most important factor in a relationship, if theres no trust whats the point? Once a cheat always a cheat. Your boyfriend obviously does not respect you and you are so much better off without him. You may love him but does he love you? Obviously not if hes cheating on you. Your still young yet so i suggest you finish it with this guy and go find yourself a nice honest fella that you deserve. Your parents may love him to bits butwould they still love him if they knew what he was doing to you? Sorry if my answer seems a bit harsh but its the truth babe. Hope everything goes well for you whatever you choose to do x

Answer 3

sorry Katie, but you are fighting a losing battle, as a bloke, i will admit we take our lady's for granted, and the more we can wrap them round our fingers, the more we can get away with, fair enough he may have cheated in the first year, but if the trust aint there, your relationship will continue on a downward spiral, you say yopurself that he hasn't cheated this year YET. You have answered your own question darling, dont stay in the relationship just because your parents adore him, I did with my ex, and all I succeeded in was making her so unhappy. we stuck it out through a hell of a lot more than most, but in the end she was so unhappy trying to keep it all together. We split almost 5 months ago now and I get on great with her, but thats it. Cut your draw strings now sweetheart before you get in even deeper. You will meet someone else, and it may be someone who appreciates and deserves you.
Good Luck,
RAB x

Answer 4

Relationships are challenging at the best of times .... let alone if your boyfriend has already cheated on you...
Trust ,honesty and communication in any relationship are important.
Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and give him the option to be honest with you without you being angry.
If he is the right guy for you ,deep down in your heart you will know....
deep down now you will also know if he is sleeping around or it is just your fear...
remember that sometimes our greatest fears come upon us ....
Trust your own heart and not what others tell you about him

Answer 5

girl Trust is the main thing needed in a healthy relationship.. if u don't have trust all u got is love.. and whats love got to to with it.. u want to feel happen u i know u want his attention.. i wouldn't put up with it no more.. just b/c i been there and i know he isn't going to change b/c thats the person he is.. he flirts with other girls( thats a no no) and if u feel it go with your gut.. u are a female and thats what we have.. once a cheater always a cheater.. i think the only thing u can do is to leave and he love u he will come back.. but once he know he lost a good thing.. is the only way i know or i think he would change.. i know its hard b/c its like he is your best friend and u be with him daily.. but i don't know if you argue over it or not.. but it will come.. u checking his phone. ect.. ect.. its not worth it toom much stress.. let em go have fun.. if it was meant to be you guys will be together..

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel, I was in the same position. I narrowed it down to moving on and living my life with the person I love so much or finishing it over my silly paranoid mind. I decided to forget about it and move on. Now, nearly 8 months later, I am SO glad I gave my partner another chance, I didn't listen to anything anyone else said, I followed my heart and my gut feeling and it worked. I suggest you do the same.

Good luck

Answer 7

I understand where you are coming from I have been with my boyfriend for 11years and we have both had trust issues with each other. All I can say that if you truly love this man keep the communication channels open with him. Trust is a thing that is earnt, it works along side respect. You have to give respect to get respect. Is your boyfriend respecting you? Do you respect your boyfriend? It all takes time and I guess we are all human and make misteaks. If you learn from your misteak and take responsability for your actions then you can move forward from it and learn something from it. Has your boyfriend acknowledged and apologised for his past actions? I hope so as he is then acknowledging how much he does respect you if he is man enough to take responsability for what he has done. Good luck to you I hope it all works out how you want it to.

Answer 8

I really feel for you. I know its easier said than done but you need to get out of this relationship - you deserve much much better. You must also realise you are not the problem here - he is. Of course you're not going to trust him after what hes been doing and what hes being saying to you. I know its hard and probably not what you want to hear but you need to get out. A similar thing happened with me and i stayed with my boyfriend cause i cared about him and loved him and after 6 years Id just had enough. I know they say you learn from your mistakes but i feel that i have wasted the last 6 years of my life cause i now know he'll never change and he promised me loads of times that things were going to change - they didnt they just got worse and he turned me into an emotional wreck. I thought id never cope without him cause i loved him so much. I am now happier than ive ever been and grateful that i got out of it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. x

Answer 9

it sounds like you're the only one going to therapy. This is an issue for both of you, not just you alone, because he gave you a reason to mistrust him. I would highly suggest going to therapy together to sort this out. Your therapist is only hearing one side of the story, and that's not fair to him. He might actually be a better man, but your therapist doesn't kow that.
What your parents think is really not important, because they are not the one's who are dating him(you are!)
You also said you love and care about him with all your heart...
sweetie, in order to fully love anyone,you need to trust them. That is a vital part of any love ordeal,end of story.
Regardless, he's given you reason to doubt, and you're smart to feel the need to protect your heart. But, until you both get therapy together, you'll only be hurting the relationship in the long run for possibly old mistakes. You need to learn to forgive and foget, and therapy seems like it's a good way to start.
And if you still feel like this isn't going to change the situation, then leave the relationship. No point in stressing yourself over any guy,regardless of how much you "love him".
Hope this helped!
Mama JK

Answer 10

Thats one of two things thats hugely destroying about cheating, the trust issue. Which, unfortunatley only you can figure out.
The other issue is how can someone willing/knowingly get with someone else knowing how it woulod make you feel? Hardly a loving act.
Go with your instinct