My youngest brother just moved out yesterda and while we're all proud of him, mom's taking it hard, and to be honest, so am I. Mom has a condition so I take care of her, so its not like she's alone, but he's the BABY. I get choked up just thinking about it. it's like he's child, too, not just my brother. i remember his first day of school, i think i cried more than mom at his graduation! anyway, for people who've had their children move out, how did you cope?
please--no suggestions to replace him with a dog or drinking. we have a dog and we DON'T need a drinking problem, lol.
2007-07-30 02:28:27 · 24 answers · asked by art_child2000 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
my mom is 42, she's not in the sunset stage of her life by any means.
2007-07-30 02:41:57 · update #1
I cried for a day, and then I realized -no more having to make sure she got home at a decent hour, no more having to call her friends houses to find out where she was, no more making dinner for her and her not showing up, no more getting phone calls from the police dept. asking me to pick up my innebriated daughter, no more calls from the school asking me where was my daughter, no more long silences, etc. etc. etc. NOW of course she is a model citizen, and does not like to talk about the old days at all.
2007-07-30 11:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree you don't need a drinking problem, however your sense of humor is probably just what your mom needs now, My youngest just left home, and although my life has changed, it isn't a bad thing. I have more time for me now to do the things I couldn't do before. I too have some health problems, but I still continue to enjoy this time as so should your mom. She sounds very lucky to have you around, Give her some time to adjust and things will be alright . Good Luck.
2007-07-30 19:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by quagmire1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to celebrate the return of privacy and independence to your Mom's life. Celebrate life itself.
Go to a movie, out to dinner, take a ride, visit a new city, see some old friends. It's not like you have to be home at a certain time to be there for a child anymore.
Because you are with her, Mom will not have a great battle with "Empty Nest Syndrome" and this will be good for her. It's time to get out and rediscover that world which was left behind due to child rearing.
2007-07-30 15:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by Cranky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My youngest was the first one to move out, I cried my heart out, same with all the other kids, but do you know that one after the other came back home for a while and I just loved it. The youngest one got married while still in college, she has a wonderful marriage, I still miss her a lot but we have a good relationship. Just be sure you have a good relationship with this young brother and he will came over to visit mom.
2007-07-30 21:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by Tea C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kinda know what you mean. My dad died when I was 11 and I've been the man of the house for almost 8 years now. So my sister sorta became like a daughter to me and I was real protective of her and my mom. As things go she will graduate in 2 years and I'll probably still live here when she moves on to college. I really don't know how my mom will react with that empty girls room.
2007-07-30 09:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by Dregop 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I barely had time to think. I had just put my own Mother to rest, after I cared for her the last five years of her life. She had the mind of a two year old, but was ambulatory, thank goodness.
My youngest son went into the Navy a few weeks after he graduated, on his 18th birthday.
Then, I rented out to a neighbor college student who was glad to get away from his three brothers and a sister. He moved into his own apartment just after my oldest grandson came to stay with me because he's going to school here now.
Then my youngest son (out of the Navy now) moved in with his partner, and they have a new baby, and my number two grandson also entered the school here and moved in.
I have a very full and sometimes too exciting life, and I don't have a lot of time to feel sorry for myself. In my spare time, when I'm not on Yahoo Answers, or blogging, I make gifts using yarn and plastic canvas, which I donate to charity auctions and craft shows.
2007-07-30 17:53:50 · answer #6 · answered by Yarnlady_needsyarn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not easy,
If he moves out for good (work/study), I think it should be allright, let him spend some money to give yr mother lots of calls and make your mother hear his voice .
Let him give her comfort.
I dont know what's the condition of yr mother and how far your brother goes but if it is reachable and doesn't make any fuss, your mother can visit him some times.
If he goes very far or has to go to the war in Iraq, then it depends, if your mother has faith then she can pray, if not, she should have found a way to ease herself. But hearing his voice does help.
She will get used to. Dont worry.
Its nice to have him, I know.
My youngest is cute and always make me laugh, but mind you, there was time when a woman (he only knew for 1 month) ,told him to leave me because his world was just for him and her and he should not be mummy's boy; there was no joke whatsoever for me, it was pain for me as it happened just a few weeks after his father died (few weeks after I lost my husband). I tell you, that was not funny.
That was over, he's married now (thanks God not to her) and since some months ago he and his wife decided to stay in my house ( happened it big enough so we both have our own privacy) and will stay until the end of my day, the 2 elder brothers are overseas.
It takes two to tango. Lots of give-in from the elder part. Tell your mother, it can be fun, depend how she looks at it.
Good luck.
2007-07-30 13:23:57 · answer #7 · answered by bill s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in my 40's and finally have an empty nest.I boxed up my children's remaining things and put them in storage. I turned one bedroom into an office and the other into a laundry room.
My children are relieved that I haven't kept their rooms as "shrines".What I am trying to say is, get on with your life. Do something you couldn't do when the kids were at home.
Do things you enjoy;reading, sewing etc.,before long you will actually start enjoying the fact that your child moved out.
2007-07-30 14:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by Vermillion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying to get a drinking problem but go out and PARTY! WHOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE! She should be proud of herself that she raised a family and sent them all out on their own.
She should take a vacation. Maybe to a beach where she can watch the sunset and contemplate the metaphor of her life being in it's 'sunset' stage.
2007-07-30 09:32:49 · answer #9 · answered by Claptrap 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the thing that helped me the most was to increase my activities out side of the house. I took up gardening. Hiking with a women's group, joined the red hat society, and did volunteer work. Look around your community for a need or check your paper for local groups to join. When I found others in the same spot as I was it really helped
2007-07-31 16:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by julia j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋