Married 5 yrs. Hubby-2 kids from prev marry. Didn't want more kids-asked me 2 give up having. His Ex psych/emot abuse him severe b4&aftr marry(2 both aftr)still does-usual throu email-him. I say NO abuse-he avoid-psych issue-she smtimes take out on kids smhow-kids in denial-Mommy=Saint. She told kids not 2 listn 2 me (or accpt family)(only child) because not "Blood Relation". They not allwd to call me stepmom. Been to counsel 3 x togeth (sep occasions) in 5 yrs-Both alphas. Hubby mislead me b4 marry-drinking-live his life 4 kids-me as wife on backbrnr-expect me to chg 2 b like him-all 3 slobs-disrespectful-nasty teasing all time-my friends were rdy to gut him. Evry time wrk chg togeth=6-8 wks bck 2 sameold-I told stp drink & strt respect me or it over-he stp drink-but bck to sameold by July. I told not seem 2 wrk-NOW he want 2 get counsel AGAIN & will chg how treats me (incl kids)-Rdy 2 leave-scared because $-have dog I won't leave-where would we go?-Do I leave or try again???
2007-07-30 01:49:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doesn't abuse me-His Ex abuse him/us. He twisted what the counsellor said to rationalize his actions & he would never get counselling for himself (until now when it feels too late)-He runs constantly 4 his kids-He/kids always independently decide things to do & ask me after the fact-He always forgets things 2 do with me/us (what I like & don't like, how I feel about things, things we've talked/decided upon together, etc.) All our $ go towards raising kids-He also pays support even though he has shared custody & kids are with us 2-thirds of time. He never fixes things around house until he has to because he spends ALL of his time/$ on/with kids, or just doesn't care-I fixed up house as much as I can for now, yard too. His idea of yard work is mowing lawn, I do everything else (2 do some landscaping, I have to do all of the digging etc.-He only moves wheelbarrow for me)-He disagrees with me bout Discipline in front of kids-Likes to joke, but makes me brunt of jokes & all are negative.
2007-07-30 02:31:32 · update #1
I have job - but pay half of all bills - which leaves almost nothing to save with. Also, I'm 40 (married late), and will admit that leaving terrifies me, but I hate living with them now & love it when they are gone from house (includes hubby). I've put so much work into this house, and I don't want to leave it, but I couldn't maintain it financially on my own - Plus I don't feel that it would be right to make the kids move again (their mom has never had a stable place to live & is constantly moving). I feel like it is going to be forever before I would be able to get up enough $ to leave and hire a lawyer etc.
2007-07-30 02:42:13 · update #2
unless you want 5 more years of this. Seperate.
2007-07-30 01:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by smokymtnheaven 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your being abused from all over the kids the hubby the ex. I never ever suggest this but if you all went to counseling once and it did not work out and he is an alch. Then I suggest you get out while you can. If you have to put the dog up for adoption to a good home. Don't you have family at a distance far if possible that you could go stay with until you can get on your feet. If not there are many women shelters for abused women. And sounds like emotionally you are being abused. You can not live in that situation. NO one respects you it sounds like.
2007-07-30 02:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really up to you. If he's willing to try counseling again and you need his paycheck, you did marry him, I'd try one more time. Just tell him "this is it." No more chances. This works, or we call it quits. Do not get pregnant during this trial. You can get a job and find a place to live on your own without all this stress on you, if he doesn't shape up.There are places to rent that allow dogs (my son has a dog in a rental apt.).
2007-07-30 02:17:18 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry it was hard to read your question. Have you talked to your husband about this? If you have tried therapy, I suggest that you try a different therapist. If he is emotionally abusing you then you might want to consider leaving. But divorce should be the last thing you consider not the first. As I said your question was hard to understand but I hope I was able to help.
2007-07-30 01:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving is a hard decision because we are afraid of the unknown. Can I make it on my own etc. What you need to do is find a place you can go and just leave. Do not tell him where you are going. You need to have some time AWAY so that you can clear your head and really focus on you and what's best for you.
2007-07-30 02:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by mom of 5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on!!! what is your gut telling you! go seek help at a womens shelter or church! stop being a victim! only you can change your life! the clock is ticking move out! smiles to you my friend!
2007-07-30 01:56:03 · answer #6 · answered by SadieBrown 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Run like hell!!!! How many chances does an alcoholic get? Trust me people with addictions that they refuse to stop will continually justify their actions anyway possible to keep you to enable them to continue their addiction.
2007-07-30 01:55:56 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋