I am currently 18, 19 in December and am currently dating a girl that I have loved since grade 8. We were best friends from grade 8 until grade 12 when we decided that it was finally the right time to put effort into a relationship we both thought would work. We have been dating for the last year and 6 months and now marriage has entered the realm of possibility. We go to the same university and already have lived together for 8 months. We have seen the ugly sides of each other and are mature enough and serious about our relationship to talk thing out instead of having a verbal standoff. My question is, is 19 to young to be making this decision even tho we have known each other for about 5 years in total? She has told me she is ready to spend the rest of her life with me, I am as well. Just, is it the right time?
2007-07-30 01:20:24 · 9 answers · asked by hockeydude062002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi....
As far as marriage goes at 19 ... it depends on the couple, age is just a number. I am also 19 and my husband is 20, our birthdays were shortly before our wedding. we knew eachother for 4 1/2 yrs and dated 4 yrs before tying the knot. The fact that you live together for a while now is good b/c you know eachothers peppeeves. I lived with him for a yr and 1/2 and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him from the start. Maturity is also important because you have to know how to respect eachothers feelings and space at certain times. Dont let anyone tell you what to do with your life. some people are really old fashioned and may tell you that you are "crazy" and that your just a baby to be making a decison like that...but in the end its your life and your girlfriends that matters... so take some time and think about what you are getting into. Marraige is not a game! I personally don't believe in divorce, so when I marriaged my husband I knew it was forever and didnt feel anything negative by my decision...He as well knows this and didnt seem bothered by that notion. So in the end its all about what you feel in your heart. But also make sure that you can afford to take care of eachother. Personally I've been taking care of myself from the start I own my house and pay all my own bills, I dont have my mom or dad helping, so In that sense I'm mature and knew I could handle being married. I am currently a student just like you are so dont let that scare you... if you are as mature as you sound you should know how to handle yourself.....
Everyone told me that why not wait a few years finish school and then get married since you already live together whats the big deal. As you see I did what I thought was best and couldnt be happier.
remember age is just a "number"
I am 19 and I am happily married to the best person in the world. Good luck and hope everything goes well for you in the future.
2007-07-30 02:28:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have know each other for 5 years but those 5 years where childhood years. There is a big difference than if you had known each other 5 adult years.
There is no reason to rush into marriage right now as you are both so young and even in 5 years, what you are thinking now will be so different than it was 5 years ago.
Set a 5 year goal for both of you and work towards these goals. As in, saving for a house, saving for the wedding, general savings account, AND being debt-free before making that leap.
Also buy this book: The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do
Susan Piver Paperback
2007-07-30 08:31:27 · answer #2 · answered by Patty G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My Mom was 17 and my Dad was 21 when they got married, and they just celebrated their 21st wedding anniversary. For them, it worked. They love eachother and couldnt be happier with anyone else. However, they didn't go to college, and struggled with money and jobs and so on.
I am 19, my boyfriend is 20, and we have talked a lot about marriage (we have been together 2 1/2 years). we are both in school though... and know that the best thing for us to do is wait until at least one of us is out of school and has a decent-paying job, so that we have the time to put into our relationship and the money to begin life on our own.
For you, i would suggest the same. Get out of school. A new marriage and trying to get through school at the same time would be VERY stressful. not to mention planning a wedding through school. Trying to do both at once would keep you from doing really well in one. Either your grades would suffer ((and therefore possibly your future)) or your relationship would suffer ((and obviously that just sucks))
Hope i helped!
2007-07-30 10:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by supernelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that rest of your life is a very long time. If you were my child I would advise you this way. You are not the person you will be in 15years. If this woman is someone that will grow into someone you want to be with in 15years then your age doesn't matter. Those bad habits won't change unless she wants them to, and you will grow to resent them. So will she.
So what's the rush? Why can't you simply wait until college is over, if you are happy now? While I do think you are too young, many happy marriages start young and do just fine. Only you can know if you want to risk future happiness by burdening yourself with the responsibilities of marriage at this age. Good luck.
2007-07-30 08:35:34 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
19 is young, and marriage is hard. You need to be realistic about the emotional and material sides of marriage. Can you support each other in every way, including financially? Being a student and being married is also difficult. Stay together, if you make each other happy, finish college, then get married. After all, you have forever to spend your lives together. Don't rush.
2007-07-30 08:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by Lee B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It might be a bit young but you'll never know till ya try. Sounds like you got a good thing going, sounds more mature than many other married couples I know of today . Best Wishes
2007-07-30 08:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by curious1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an easy answer: Who's paying your bills right now and your college education? If the answer is your parents, there's no way you're ready. If the answer is your student loans, then also there's no way you're ready. Bottom line: If you aren't gainfully employed, can pay utilities, rent, purchase a home, purchase a car, purchase insurance, then you aren't ready for marriage.
2007-07-30 08:52:40 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give me a break. Nobody should date one person exclusively until they are 25 years old. You both should be dating other people. You both could find that the other really isn't right for you.
2007-07-30 08:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by Gender Different 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Do you have your degree, a career started, working full time, and money in the bank? If not, no you are not ready.
2007-07-30 08:45:00 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋