how to control angry person?

Question

what to do when your husband gets angry either on u or on your child?

Answer 1

Give him a glass of cold water to drink & just keep quite for sometime till he cools down. Then sit with him & try to find what is the reason he loose his temper on you people. Is he having any problem at his place of work or some financial problem which he is unable to solve. Try to help him out to these problems & he'll be normal again.

Answer 2

I think you can´t really control anybodies anger, because in the moment somebody gets furious, he won´t listen to any good advise - he simply won´t listen at all.
Some people have this very bad habit to get extremely furious and start to scream and shout, say ugly things and even smash things... so it´s always best to get outside the fire line, till this person has calmed down again.
I have been always a person who do not get angry very often, but when it happened - I really lost control sometimes and all what my husband tried to say or do was in vain, as I simply didn´t listen to him at all... I even smashed porcelain!!!
And most of the times, the anger attack didn´t have anything to do with him at all... he simply was the closest person to me at this moment and of course, he would not simply walk off, as other people do...
So, he said one day, that I should try to control my anger attacks, as the next time it happens, he simply would take our daughter and go for a long walk...
... And that´s what he did, he simply walked off and out of the fire line... so without anybody to blame around, it suddenly doesn´t make any sense to scream against a wall or smash some dishes...
So instead of screaming and blaming somebody else, I had time to think and I realized, that the problem is not too big and can be solved easily, just by keeping calm.
Sometimes I get angry nowadays, but it´s not the same as before, when I really freaked out...
You should do the same, ignore him, don´t accept, that he wants to provoke you, stay calm and just go to another room, watch TV, read a book or take the child and go for a walk or into the garden.
When he has calmed down, you sit and talk about his behaviour and explain, that you won´t tolerate it anymore.
Tell him, that you are willing, to help him, whatever his problems are, but you won´t accept, that somebody screaming and shouting, insulting and whatever.
I am sure this will help!!!

Answer 3

It’s not clear from the question if the anger is violent or not.

If it’s violent anger, your best bet may well be to divorce your husband and move away, but before you do that, you might want to try to figure out a way to get your husband to seek counseling. That’s obviously easier said than done, as violent men are not the easiest people to coax into therapy.

Since your avatar name is “Save India,” it might be appropriate to point you to this site:
http://www.maitri.org/services.html
It points women to shelter, support groups, counselors, etc., and it seems to be oriented particularly to South Asian women. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (799-7233)—I’m assuming you’re in the U.S. The hotline also provides shelters and counseling.

This site:
http://www.safe4all.org/help/
also offers local resources for victims of abuse.

If it’s not violent anger that you’re talking about, it’s actually not a bad idea to keep quiet during another person’s tantrum. The other person will vent and eventually wind down; by responding, even if you’re trying to be sympathetic, you could accidentally end up setting the guy off on another tirade. When the anger has passed, though—maybe a day later or so—you should talk to your husband about expressing his frustration in a less frightening way. And it might make sense to seek counseling or marriage therapy even if the anger is nonviolent. If communication is breaking down, you have a serious, long-term problem. In those circumstances, it may also be helpful to seek help from someone your husband respects—maybe his mother or his sister, for example. (If the guy gets jealous, you should probably try to choose female confidantes.) Such a person might help you convince your husband to seek professional counseling.

Answer 4

Controlling someone else's anger is difficult, if not impossible, to do. Sometimes, as adults we let things build up inside of us, so much so, that when we explode it's not pretty and more often than not, the person we explode on is not deserving of the treatment we are giving them.

The only thing you CAN do is talk with your hubby and make him aware of what he is doing. Let him know how it hurts you and your child and that once he does/says things, they can not be taken back. Don't be afraid to let him know that this will end up causing stress on your marriage and that you don't want that.

If he would be willing, therapy may help or even some anger management classes.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

Is your husband physically or verbally abusive. Call your local battered woman's shelter. They can offer you and your child a place to stay, help with job placement and permanant housing. You are not accountable for solving your husbands lack of self control issues. Nor are you responsible for calming his anger. Never allow your child to live in a dangerous environment. It makes you worse than him if you allow his childish tantrums to threaten and compromise your safety.

Answer 6

Five Free Tips Help Release Anger
http://www.soundfeelings.com/free/anger.htm

Answer 7

Anger management courses. Either voluntarily, or have them court ordered. If he refuses to go, then take your children to a safe place, and start a new life without the violence in your life. There is no need to remain with violent people. There are millions of lonely people who are also quite decent. Find one of them.

Answer 8

Ignoring him When it comes to husband he is annoyed not to wife but the situation in which he involved him self. Give support to him Develop patience in him. Don't angry with him.

Answer 9

every person gets angry because he dislikes the doings of others. no one can control others angry. because if u try to control the other's angry, it will only increases, but wont decrease.
so it is better to speak politely to them so that they will cool down.

Answer 10

Leave the house and give him a few hours to calm dow, when you go back calmy explain you feel he has an anger problem and to seek help, If he doesn't take you seriously next time you leave don't go back.

If you feel at anytime you are in dangeour of being hurt physically you can find help at http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

Seriouslly though, don't become a victim

Answer 11

You do not reply to his accusations and you leave with your child for a drive and let him calm down. If he's physical with you or your child, leave him. If he's putting you or your child down with hurtful words, leave him. There is no cure for people like that.