Breaking point, 2 babies 11 mnths apart.?

Question

I am a single mum of two babies. One 13 mnths and one 2 mnths old. The 2 mnth old is still waking at night about evry 4 hrs to feed and the 13 mnth still wakes occassionaly at night. I am so so exhausted all the time and extremely tired. The father never takes them at night and I never get a break. Has anyone had babies this close in age? Does it get easier as they get older? Any advise, please help. Im at breaking point.

Answer 1

Been there - sort of. The hardest time was when my dh was in the army and stationed in Germany. We had a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old when he was deployed to Bosnia. Yippee. I was a stranger in a strange land with only one english-speaking neighbor, and she went on holiday to England for a month, I hadn't had the time to learn enough German to do anything more than order in a restaurant and find out where the bathroom is, and I had a piece of sh*t car that kept breaking down. The four year old was wearing pull-ups to bed because of her immature bladder, the 2 year old was just getting started potty-training, and then there was the baby. Three different sizes of diapers every time we went shopping.

Sleep? Oh my Lord I was so sleep deprived that I am sorry now that I ever got behind the wheel of a car. I could have killed all of us and any unlucky b*stard who happened to be on the road.

I was breastfeeding so I was off my coffee. About the best thing I did was get the older two on a synchronized nap schedule and try to get the baby to stay awake long enough in the afternoon to go down for his nap at roughly the same time. Then I went to bed, too. All four of us took a nap every afternoon whether the house was clean or not. Hey, I wasn't expecting any company, so I kept the house clean enough for us and let the rest wait until I had the energy to deal with it. So the sheets didn't get washed every week, big deal.

Good luck.

Answer 2

It will get Easier But it may be awhile. I have a 15 & 16 year old I raised alone. So I have been there and going there again for I also have a 16m old girl and due in October. This time I do have a partner however I worry about how much help he will be. I'm not looking forward to it very much, but I also know it will pass and does get easier. I feel bad for you but hang in there!! Do you have any family that can help? As for When does it get easier well for the sleeping part probably when your youngest is sleepin through the night then things seem to start getting better. Hopefully that won't be too long. But even at that point it can be hard at times. Sleep when you can forget about housework for the most part and just take it as it comes...Good luck and god bless.

Answer 3

You poor thing. It does get easier at night but its still hard work no matter how old they are. I would be having a word or two to the father and demand that he at least take the 13mth old so you can get some rest and at least only have one child to look after.

Have you thought about going to a sleep school? They can work magic on your babies of both ages and have them self settling and sleeping like a ...well...baby! Your 13mth old is quite capable of sleeping through, although the newborn may still wake for a feed for a few more months. They are honestly a godsend for tired worn down mums.
I would ask your local childhealth nurse for a referral or speak to her about your problems and she may be able to find someone local to help you out.
Good luck and remember to take anytime you can for a quick breather. Drink plenty of fluids and eat healthily. This will make sure that you are physically ok to take care of your bundles of joy.

Answer 4

I know exactly what you are going through! My babies are 15 months apart. My daughter was still waking up for a night feeding when my son was born. It was really hard at first, mainly because my son was under bili lights, and I felt so alone. My hubby tried, but it just wasn't enough help. I have some advise for you, this is what took me too long to figure out for myself! First, get out of the house. I didn't get out much the first six months because I was overwhelmed leaving the house with two babies. Get a stroller and go for a walk every morning. Exercise! You may not feel like you have energy too, but trust me, you feel like you have more energy for the rest of the day if you do. Second, get some alone time, even if it's just a few hours a week. Third, go on a date with your husband. If you're anything like me, your marriage is on the back-burner right now, and you need a little help remembering what it feels like to have fun with him. And if you're single - go on a girls-night-out! Don't feel guilty leaving the babes for a few hours.
My oldest is now 3, and yes, it definitely gets easier as they get older. It's still challenging, but we have a lot of fun together. Hey - email me, it sounds like you need someone to relate to and help get you through this rough bump in your life. I bet I've been through most of it all!!! I'd love to talk to you.

Answer 5

Wish I could give you a hug and a night off! I haven't personally had two kids that close apart (or two kids for that matter), but people I know say:

'Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.'
'It'll get easier.'
'Just get through each day (and night) and it'll get easier soon.'

Good luck, and I hope you get some backup care soon. Can your parents or the father's parents help? A closer friend? You need a break.

Answer 6

The easier route right now is to opt for a birth control method.For you sanity that is. Some women like that thier children are close to age for others it just happens that way. Once they get older it will be easier, for right now you ARE dealing with two babies. You really need him to realize that you were not the only one involved in making those babies so he shouldnt sit back and watch as you lose your sanity. Get him to help. BOTTOM LINE!

Good luck hun~

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear you are soo tired. I hope there is somone out there that can give you a night off to catch up on some much needed sleep