are you a councilor? can you please help me?

Question

i was just wondering if there's a councilor or a psychologist on here that could talk to me. i dont want to talk to the one at school coz im not comfortable telling anyone this in person. im worried ppl might find out. this is a serious question so plz dont say something like "your family should go on jerry springer". sometimes im attracted to my dad and i want him to be with me. i feel guilty and i hate myself for having all these sick thoughts in my head. i cant remember how it started but its not a crush. its like love and lust. he's not my biological father but he's still my dad from when i was 2 years old. its ruining our relationship i hardly ever talk to my parents anymore coz of this.

Answer 1

you have to really research things for yourself here...why is it you are attracted to him...is it because he provides for your family, keeps you safe, you like the relationship he shares with your mother, his looks, you need to identify what it is exactly that draws you to him...when you find that you will be able to fix the situation yourself...it is a normal thing to a certain extent...but acting on it is not appropriate whether he is biologically your father or not...so you need to come to terms with that as well...

Answer 2

Well there is no need to feel like you are the only person who has ever felt this way, this is referred to as the Electra complex the father of modern psychology Sigmund Freud said that there is a stage in every girls life where they want to marry their father and replace their mother and the same is true for all boys wanting to marry their mother and replace the father (for boys this is called the Oedipus complex) Freud said it is a normal development as you grow up. In time it will most likely pass, if you can I would suggest spending time around other boys (around your age) as your experience with males grows these feelings will pass and you will find someone you will care about the same way you are feeling about your father now. Don't hate yourself for it and try not to feel guilty because it is not your fault and a normal part of growing up.

I want to tell you I am not a councilor and I have not gone to school for this but I am well read on the topics and think I can at least shed some light on this

If you feel the need to talk you can email me ([e-mail]) but, if a trained professional answers take their advice over mine :-)

Answer 3

It is very normal for a girl to have a crush on her father, or a boy to have a crush on his mother. You love and admire him. One day you will look for the same qualities that he possesses in a a boyfriend, and eventually a spouse. Do not make the foolish move of approaching him with this. He thinks of you only as his daughter. Think of it this way. How would you feel if your mother flirted with a bf of yours, or your husband? Just be happy that you have such a wonderful step father, because many children do not.

I am not a therapist, but I know plenty about children, and the psychology of relationships.

Answer 4

Who knows what she advised the councilor? it would desire to be the applicable suggestion after what she advised her. What this female needs is a distinctive usually used practitioner FIRST. handle the indicators. possibly get into some cognitive behavioral treatment- works wonders for many folk. i does not be so speedy to blame the councilor. perhaps ask if the two one in all them can go mutually next time so as that some subject concerns may well be addressed.

Answer 5

Um, question do you go out that often, It may not be a crush but You have to differentiate love and infatuation. You look up to your Dad because his the epitome of everything that you want in a guy. The fact is it's our nature to want what is readily available to us. In your case your Dad is closed to you, he i would assume is a mentor to you in many ways. Why don't you try this..Your dad's qualities can be your "guideline" in choosing your Man. Hence, Guidelines so do not constrict our limit yourself. Another thing, the way I see it you always see the "all good" sides of you Dad so why not look at the other things you don't want and dislike, small things and mannerism that will be a turn-off (e.g. his age, the downside, etc.)

Answer 6

hi miss, how r u I just have view ur question on yahoo answer. i can understand that u r in a serious thinking as what should u do. But dear I want to suggest u prepare yoyourself and forget about love affection towards to ur father whether he is ur real father or not. But now he is ur father and there are some bindings under we should remain.
let it take otherwise ; he had made relations with ur mom and u should not take the position of ur mother. please avoid urself

Answer 7

its totally normal , your at an age that you wanna have sex, but you also want it to be love filled, im guessing your dad is a great dad you alreaddy love him so it makes perfect sence that you would want BANG YO DADDY ... WHOSE YOU DADDY!!!! just playin .. hope it lightened your mood...your not a freak of nature dont let anyone tell you that you are either , because alot of people would ... (it would even be a normal thing if he was your real dad). as far as your relationship goes, i think thats something your going to have to work out on your own,... he is the same man ... and he obviously loves you alot...

Answer 8

Perhaps you are not attracted to your dad - you admire him only because he was there for you & have provided for you even tho he is your foster father.

How old are you? when i was younger, i am attracted to older men & women too but i wasn't in love with them... i admired them & wanted to be like them. IN love is a totally different feeling.

You could try to talk to your dad and mom direct about it... but frankly, i really don't think that you are in love with your (foster)dad.