Girls only please and please answer honestly?

Question

I have been married for 6 years and I love my wife deeply. I cross dress and have tried to tell her before but always bottled it. I am not gay or bi and I have no desire to have surgery. I have made my mind up to tell her but I don't know how to do it. Can anyone advise? Serious answers only please as I don't want to hurt her but I don't want to carry on lying to her either.

Answer 1

Just be honest. some find it a turn on, you never know you may be lucky and have a wife that likes it.

good luck!

Answer 2

It depends on how well you communicate really. If you can talk openly about anything then just sit her down when she's not busy (preferably not on a week night as she'll have to go to work with all this on her mind). Tell her you love her very much and that you have to tell her something which you know will be hard for her to hear. Be honest about it, ask her to let you finish before she says anything. Stress that you are not gay or bi and try and explain what it is about cross dressing that you feel you can't live without. Don't take it too hard if at first she doesn't understand, she'll be scared. Give her time, be patient and hopefully she will be able to deal with it. Good luck, hope it goes ok. x

Answer 3

Well, I will say that being on the receiving end of news like this is not the best thing, but it is okay.

I'm not a big fan of the "we need to talk" line because that makes me nervous in itself. But I think that might need to be how you begin. You can't just sit down to dinner and be like, "So, I'm this...". Awkward.

I would approach the subject when she is comfortable and happy. Ask how her day was, and broach the subject comfortably.

Whatever you do, don't apologize. I'll never forget how my sister told me she was gay and apologized for it. It was like she had done something wrong. And I don't believe it's wrong at all.

Just talk about how you're feeling and then ask for her input. Expect some shock and a lot of questions. But try not to get flustered or accuse if possible. Stay calm, tell her you love her, and then start discussing what will happen between you two from that point on.

I hope this helps somewhat. Good luck with everything. :]

Answer 4

You know, if you were my husband I'd find it seriously weird at first, but after a while I'd get used to it and be proud of your courage and honesty. Cross-dressing can't, I think, kill a sound relationship, but lies will. Find a quiet time, maybe outside the house, and just tell her. Give her the opportunity to ask lots of questions. Accept that she'll want to return to the topic days, weeks, and months later, and that just when you thought she was OK with it, she may want to open up the topic again. Be patient. Be truthful. Gaining her accpetance won't take a few hours or a day, it may take a couple of years, but you will win her round in the end. You sound like a nice guy who is worth holding on to, and there are way worse things than cross-dressing. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think you will find that if you sit her down, ask her to be at her most patient with you and tell her straight. This isn't going to be an easy thing for her to hear - not because of the cross-dressing - because of the fact you have kept it from her. You should have told her this before you married her so she could make an informed choice but its too late for that now. I think it will hurt her no matter what you do but it will be far less painful than her coming home one day to find you in your frillies. I personally wouldn't care about the dressing up thing but I would mind that you hadn't told me so I think you need to be aware that her reaction will be more about that - unless of course she is very prudish in which case - let the battle commence. I hope you both can see through this one together. Best of luck.

Answer 6

I think that you should just sit her down one night, after a nice dinner, and say that you have something important to tell her. Make it clear that while you enjoy cross-dressing, you don't like men or want to be a woman, because she may automatically assume those things. And tell her if you would prefer she keep this private; any sensible woman would not go gossiping about this, but some feel the need to tell their close friends or siblings the details of their life.
Afterwards, there's no much you can do. Just prepare yourself for any and all possible reactions.

Answer 7

You have to have this conversation, and soon, the only question is how to have it. Start by setting aside a little time and make sure you won't be interrupted. Begin by talking about your relationship, how much you care for her, how happy you are and how there is no one else and so on. Then tell her that you want to be completely honest with her about who you are, that there should be no secrets between you. Then tell her that there is something that you have been keeping from her. You will have her full attention. Then just say it, however you want to phrase it, but be blunt, so there's no possibility of misunderstanding. Then deal with the fallout and clear up the inevitable misconceptions. I wish you luck with this. There are few more difficult conversations.

Answer 8

Wow! I don't know how I would take my husband dressing up like that. Not gay Huh . Thats a tough one . but I guess if she loves you she will adjust. Women do far more than that for love. Not trying to be funny or rude but are you a white guy?Just wondering , Just asking cause I never have heard of cross dressing in my race if they weren't gay. I might have to yahoooooooo that one.

Answer 9

Hi Dave:
Tell her.
First,ask her opinion about cross dressing when shes in a good mood and ask if she found out about you what she would do.
No matter what her response is,tell her gently.
Assure you love her and will give her a break to decide what she wants and you donot want to leave her.

Just tell her because in a marriage there should be no secrets.Hopefully she may accept you.
Goodluck,sanam

Answer 10

how about writing a letter and giving it her? i seem to be able to get things across to my partner alot easier ina letter. that way if it doesnt come out quite right you can rewrite it. dont just go right out n say it tho tell her how u love her n nothing has changed in your marriage but you have summat to tell ehr. explain that you still have all the same feelings for her and your sexuality hasnt changed but you do like to cross dress
something along those lines x hope iv helped gud luk

Answer 11

Hi,
My ex husband used to like to wear womens underwear, to the poin tof not being able to have sex with out wearing my pants.

Is your wife an understanding woman? I think you should have a few drinks together, and just say "i've got something to tell you". She'll be really worried about what it may be, but when you tell her she'll rpbably be relieved.

A bit of advice thopugh, just because it's out in the open, and she may be fine with it, don't wear womens clothes in front of her all the time "like it aint no thang", cos she may actually be a bit uncomfortable about it. My ex hsuband thought ti was great that i was open minded, but when he used to "rub himself" in my pants as if it was erotic to me too, it did nothing for me at all and i craved normal sex!