Hey guys,
Well,this is kinda a long story...but my best friend Mark...has been acting really strange lately..well,we've been best friends for the past 4 and 1/2 years.Hes seen me go through a lot of relationship problems,including the ending of my marriage.Hes always been there for me and everything..but now for some reason..my exs have recently starting contacting me again..and I was telling him about that...and he got really mad! He now hates all my ex's,even discourged one guy from asking me out,saying "Don't bother,long distance relationships dont work out,back off her." Course it was the guy that told me that...Not Mark.So,I feel like I am being owned here...He tells me all the time that he really doesn't want me dating anymore..He wont explain that either..so I am so confused..I really do like him though..and I've told him before...But he says he doesn't believe me anyway,so I don't really tell him how much I like him anymore,and I am trying to move on...but everytime I mention a guy he always threatens em with his now famous quote.."I will personally come over there and bash this guy's skull in and use him to sharpen my knife..both sides." I mean, I know hes seen me get hurt millions of times already...but does he have to make me feel like we are married or something??? I know hes trying to protect me...but everytime I mention moving on or something he does something so wonderful or says something sweet..and I cant do it anymore..I wind up ignoring or sacrificing guys that are interested in me,cause Mark always gets mad and wont talk to me for a couple of days...he'll get all depressed and it makes me feel like its my fault...Is this what mixed signals feel like here?? Worst of all is that he never explains his actions...or his motive of why hes trying to get guys away from me...I mean..I also mentioned going out with my friends...who are all guys too..and he gets mad again! My girlfriend's say hes jealous.But I dunno anymore...I still have my heart set on him...but I dunno how he feels or anything...so I dont have the will to move on with other guys till I know what he wants...Its really confusing me..Could he really like me back or something? Or is this something a little more sinister in the works...? Help me guys...please!
2007-07-29 20:43:24 · 13 answers · asked by TheMetalMistress 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well,
apparently he's J-E-L-O-U-S-E
sit down get seriouse and tell him that you really like him and see how he reacts if he thinks you'r still joking tell him that you'r not...
That you'r seriouse
And tell him how you fell about him always telling you'r EX'S that he's gona kill em...
See how that works out!
Hope it helped!! :)
2007-08-06 16:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I doubt that a good friend like that is trying to abuse you in any way. It sounds very protecting, and it kinda does sound like he's into you, but it could be like an older brother thing too. Have you sat him down looked him square in the eye and asked him what was going on? Or y he was acting that way? You have to get more answers out of him. Thats the only way you can pull the mixed signals back into perspective. Don't let it boggle your mind so much. But this guy sounds like a good guy. He hates to see you get hurt and, i don't think tha possessive is the right word for it. HE could be getting jealous of your other friends, and he was tellin the truth about long distance realationships, if he said that. Main thing is that you have got to become more confrontational and talk it out with your buddy, whats the worst thing that could happen if you told him the truth and demanded answers?
2007-07-29 20:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by Just Moni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I'm a 49 year old So. Calif. native woman who was straight for 5 years and gay ,for 15 and none of the above (single and relaxed and plain not lookin' anymore) for the last 10. I've seen ,quite a bit on ALL sides of the fence, and it looks to me like like he's either in love with you and can't admit it or a closet gay who doesn't want to lose his 'girlfriend' to a married relationship. I think you should let him know you want him, and if he doesn't respond in kind, (says he wants you, too,) you need to let him know that you have a right to a life of happiness with a partner/lover for life. Try talking about having kids in the future, or where you see yourselves in 5-10 years to maybe get an idea of what he DOES want. If he is in the closet, he may need help admitting to himself he may be attracted to some of the men who are attracted to you. If it's you he's attracted to, he may be afraid you don't feel the same way, and doesn't want to risk losing your friendship (company) all together. Good Luck!
Sky
2007-07-29 20:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by L.A. Crane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if you saw your "friend" getting back together with one of his exes? Would you feel it's okay to go and make death threats to her? Would you feel it's okay to prevent your "friend" from seeing anyone, including his other friends?
I think your "friend" is into you. I also think that you seem to be attracted to his dramaqueen act. You say you pick guys who don't treat you well. Your "friend" may be trying to protect you from other guys who would have the tendency to hurt you, including himself. But this is not the way to be safe and happy.
The path forward includes being honest with yourself first, your "friend" next, and any potential mates after that. If you pick guys who hurt you, you need to choose for yourself whether you want to continue to do that.
If you do, you need to be okay with that and let your "friend" know to back off and stop trying to control your life and prevent you from making the choices you want--even if he thinks they're mistakes.
If you don't, you need to seek the roots of your choices. Why did you want to make those choices? What was the _real_ outcome you were hoping for? What would your ideal relationship look like on a day-to-day basis?
Once you know more about what you want and why you want it, you can confront your "friend." You can explain to him in an open and honest way what you're feeling and what you're hoping for. Then you can either get the same response from him, or agree to end your "friendship."
2007-08-06 20:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by Beth Rorie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and ask him his intentions. Ask him if he wants to pursue something with you and tell him if he doesn't he needs to chill out with criticizing the other guys in your life. Tell him he means a lot to you but if he doesn't want to move to the next level he needs to step back and realize that he is just a friend! Maybe he thinks he is helping you by doing this. You just need to tell him you have your life under control. Just talk it out, if he really cares about you he will listen, he might get a lil irritated but he will get over it, and if he gets totally upset and freaks out, you might need to tell him that you don't want to see him ne more b/c the relationship between you two may become violent b/c he might have a obsession. Just be careful and find his real intentions... best way to do that...simply put... talk it out.
2007-07-29 20:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by hotlilchick_6988 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would make a date to talk with him about all of your feelings. If you've been making bad and dangerous decisions in the past I could almost understand him wanting to take you under his wing. But if you don't want to be there then you need to set him straight. If he is doing this because he loves you then he needs to tell you so you don't read him wrong. But no one gets to control you either way. Your mistakes are your mistakes.
2007-07-29 20:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by sorri 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have been friends for this long, and have talked about everything else, why can't you ask him if he has feelings for you? Sounds as if he does, but i am not sure about all of that controlling and violence things. He is indicating to me that he would be controlling and possibly violent with you. Better make sure that you tel him that you don't apprciate, and will not put up with that sort of thing.
2007-07-29 20:49:27 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any guy that acts this possessive and bizarre before you are even dating should not even be considered as a possible mate. If he is your "friend", he wouldn't interfere with your life, which is exactly what he's doing. He's not your friend. He's trying to control you when you haven't even given him permission. And I promise, if you start getting "serious" with this fellow, it will only get worse. I know this from experience.
2007-08-06 18:35:33 · answer #8 · answered by Tressa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well..u sounded like both of u are interested to each other...
2007-07-29 20:49:19 · answer #9 · answered by Girly-007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he loves you or he knows something you don't know
2007-08-06 17:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by Yuki Ookami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋