Three-some?

Question

My husband has asked for a strange b'day present. He wants to have a threesome between his female colleage, me and him. I rejected it outright the first time he asked me (a few months back)..but he has again come back with the request as a bday present.
He has even said that he will not insert himself inside the other woman but will like her to give him a BJ. Basically he just wants her to watch us doing it....dont know what to say? He wants me to touch her?
Should I say ok? Will the colleage agree at all - we dont know. My hubby says she might - as she is quite wild.
Should i agree to this as a one time thing only?? Help!!?

I know that he likes BJs and give him one almost everyday. I also let him experiment other stuff like anal, exhibitionism etc. But never has a 3rd person been involved till now...so thats why i am not sure.
I dont mind if he gets a BJ from another woman...but dont want him to have sex with anyone else. Plus i am uncomfortable about that colleage as she is just 21 and has a smoking body. And no, i have never had sex with another female and dont swing that way.

Answer 1

I would never, in a million years, ask my wife to do this. Sure every man fantasizes about it - but any stable and logical individual understands that making some fantasies reality would equate to eventually signing divorce papers. Plus, my wife is more than enough for me. I would never disrespect her by asking her to do that -- especially if I knew that she didn't "swing that way" to begin with.

Answer 2

If you want to yes, if you dont care maybe and if you dont NO. This can have alot of seriuos after effects if you arent honest with yourselves and with each other before hand on what you really feel and what the limitations/expectations are. I cannot stress this enough because the smallest things have lingered on after the fact. Sometimes husbands asking for this treat have been made insecure cuase the girls get on so well, another example is if he seems to have 'more fun' then normal because the rarity of the treat might be correctly or incorrectly percieved as a strong desire for others. Any how tread cautiously with your eyes and hearts open and youll likely just have a fun time. One last danger is if either of you become very interested in repeat performances but the other doesnt.

Answer 3

Your husband obviously has issues with monogomy whether or not you like to think so. My guess is that he engages in porn a bit too much and you're not cutting it for him anymore. Once the request for open variety is brought up you are on your way to severe bedroom problems. It would not just be a one time thing and you would open the door for him being comfortable being openly intimate with other women. Watch where you tread. There is a difference between being experimental and plain stupid in marriage.

I would never ask my partner to do that regardless if it was a fantasy or not. Do it if you want but remember that once you cross certain lines there is no going back. Sounds like you and your husband have sex addiction issues.

Answer 4

This is stuff you do when you're single. I did this when I was single, lots of fun, but it has no place in my marriage.

Sure, some people have open marriages and swing, and if you can picture yourself accepting that kind of lifestyle, good for you. I can't.

I got my experimenting and 'wild fantasies' involving threesomes and other women out of the way before things got serious with anyone. I can only imagine what kind of issues that kind of stuff can bring into a relationship.

Whatever you choose to do sexually, never let anyone pressure you into making those choices. Respect your body. If you choose to have a threesome, great do it because you want it, not because you're afraid of disappointing your husband.

Answer 5

darlin, as much as every man on this planet fantasizes about the two women going at it, he has asked for a threesome. this is something that should be kept a fantasy, or should have been done before you got married. just my thoughts on the matter. the problem now is that it seems as though you arent sure what to do. if thats the case then you have a speck of possible interest in the idea of another women. thats ok if true. but if you grant him this, i believe that he will desire more from the other woman other than a b/j. even if hes ok with just that, and when its all done and over, he will want it again. ive been told from other women that have done this, and they became very jealous and very hurt from the experience. also, try this, tell him if you say yes, will he do the same for you on your birthday with 2 guys. see what he has to say about that. anyways, good luck darlin, and be careful.

Answer 6

Hmmm good question

see having three some is good but only if you want it...
Are you experimental in sex?
Do yo thing beyond the social norms?
Do you wannna look for new horizons in bed?
Are you ok sleeping with others than your partner?

Your hubby has answered yes to above bu asking you to join 3sum and if you too have the answers to above as yes then don't think go ahead --- But if you have a NO then dont even try it.. It will leave you with a guilt feel..

In case the answers is yes and you plan a 3sum with 2m n U do lemme know as I had 3sum with 2gals and it was real fun..

Enjoy..

Answer 7

Three-some could be a great experience as well as a serious blunder. You can give a counter proposal, that you'll only do what he suggests but each time it should followed by a reverse situation as well, i.e. you, one of your male friend and your hubby. Wheather you do it or not is your personal choice but it will give him a pause and force him to think about it carefully.

Since this is 2nd time he is asking, he might try this outside of the marriage.

Answer 8

Do you WANT to do it? Have you been bi-curious? I'm a guy and I know my wife would NEVER agree to this. She is not open minded though, not even close.
Your situation may turn out like a movie I saw, once you start and find out how wonderful it is, there may be no turning back. You'll like the women better than the men. It's a lot of men's fantasy to see 2 women together. Usually it doesn't involve the wife, so I think he loves you.
So it boils down to: If you are bi-curious, this is an excellent opportunity, if you are not, then he'll have to live out his fantasy someplace else.

Answer 9

OK, imagine for a minute that your husband was cheating on you. Try to really picture it, exactly what it would look like. Now, imagine that you are standing right there in the room and watching it happen. THAT's what a three-some is like. I think that doing it would be a huge mistake. It also might really create trouble at work: how do you know this woman will not talk about it? If he knows she is wild, that means she talks about things she does, so imagine she'll talk about the two of you. Men have the two-women fantasy because they have issues with performance. Basically, they can fantasize that the women will please each other and they can participate when they're ready. It's seldom that good in real life. Like a lot of things, it sounds good until you do it. I wouldn't.

Answer 10

Three-some may seem like a good idea, but they almost always destroy relationships (either short term or the long run). If you think you and your husband are mature enough to handle it more power to you but beware. If conditions are already being considered "He has even said that he will not insert himself inside the other woman" then its already looking risky. What would he say if you wanted another man involved? "He wont penetrate you'll just give him a BJ"