my mother is ruinning my marraige?

Question

my husband and i are seperated for the second time. i was living with him and told me last month that he filled for divorce becasue he was tired of everything. not giving a real explaination i packed up and moved back into my mothers house. the truth came out that he did not file for divorce and he only said that because he is tired of my mother interfereing in our marraige. now iam staying in my mother house i will not move back in with him. my mother got mad and tried to jump on my because she heard me talking to my husband on the phone that i pay for in my room! iam thinking about letting my husband file for divorce because it seems my mom is not going to get off of my back until we are divorced. it all started when my husband would not give her his income tax check to bail my brother out of jail last year and from that day on my mother has been nothing but trouble in my marriage. now i c y my huband wants seperation. should we file or not. this is hell!

Answer 1

hahha.. u are hilarious... you are siding your mother for a husband who loves u... gosh.. get rid of your mum.. rather cut ties with her and try and save your marriage... your mum ruins this marriage she can ruin your next one too {}

Answer 2

YOU are the one allowing your mother to ruin your marriage. Your husband has every right to be pissed about your mom. It doesn't seem like you see that or even care. You're too concerned about your mom and how she's feeling about the situation. A marriage is between a husband and wife, meaning your mom needs to step off! That's pretty chicken sh*t of your mom too to expect your husband to give her HIS HARD EARNED money for your brother who obviously wasn't being an upstanding citizen, to get bailed out of jail. I can't blame you husband for wanting out. This is something that YOU need to either sh*t or get off the pot. Do you love your husband? Are you ready for him to be on his way and have a future without you? Are you prepared to let your mom ruin your marriage and end it for you? If you TRULY love your husband, move back in with him and work on your marriage. You need to leave your mom behind. This is YOUR HUSBAND the man you made vows with. Saying "I do" is the easy part, now live up to the rest of your commitment. A blind person can see that your mom is totally controlling you and this situation. When does it stop? So when you get a new husband is she going to all of a sudden change and be different??? I DOUBT IT!

Answer 3

Don't give up and let your mother make the decision to end your marriage. She doesn't seem concerned with anyone's happiness but her own. Neither of you should have HAD to give away your hard earned money to bail your brother out...I assume he's an adult and that your mom pretty much chose to believe he shouldn't have to be punished for whatever landed him in jail. She sounds like one of those people who if you don't see it their way, you're wrong. Well, she's very wrong in this case. Unless she dislikes him because he mistreats you in some way, she just doesn't like that he doesn't give in to her every wish. It is unfortunate that in the process she has NO concern for your feelings. You have to live your own life and make sure that you are making yourself happy with the choices you make in it. She should let you live it in peace! Try to work things out and while you do, take steps to show your mom that there are only 2 people in your marriage. If she doesn't get her way and get to decide your every step for you, it's just too bad. You will have to take a stand against her and realize that she does not have to right to do this to either of you, even if she is your mother. I know it is easier said than done but if your choices are not your own, you will always be miserable. You CAN be HAPPY and you should make decisions that make sure that you are!

Answer 4

You are a fool. You are going to loose your husband and let your marriage collapse because you cannot stand up to your mother. You are not a child so stop acting like one. You need to tell your mother to butt out of your life.

I am with your husband he should not have given your mother the money to bail your brother out of jail and you should have stood behind him in that decission. If you are going to choose your mother over your husband you deserve what you get anda that is your mother controling your life. You don't like it then move out. You do not have to move in with your husband but you should get out of your mother's house. You should go back and apologize to your husband and try to make your marriage work but if you are gonna go back with the same old attitude and still let your mother dictate how you act then perhaps your poor husband is better off without you and your mother. He should file for divorce unless you are willing to divorce yourself from your mother's control

Answer 5

If you and your husband do love each other and want to be together why are you both going to make such a stupid decision and divorce just because of your mom. Your obligation is to your husband he is the one that you are married to. I am not saying disown your mom but she needs to stay out of your business. I am glad your husband didn't give her his income tax check your mom is a grown woman and if she chooses to get in trouble and go to jail that is her fault and she should bail herself out of jail. Put yourself in your husbands shoes. What if you had the mother in law from hell wouldn't you give him an ultimatum. Good luck

Answer 6

OK you Allanah have got to harden up sweetheart. Your mother wants to grow up and get a normal life of her own and stay out of yours.Maybe your mother should take your brothers place behind bars, that would shake her up. If you are sad and not happy at all sweetheart ;i would seriously consider filing for divorce. Your sanity and peace of mind is whats important to you; stop thinking about everybody else. Think of yourself for the first time.

Answer 7

Do not allow your mother to ruin anything. Go to your husband and talk this out..either thru a clergyman or a counselor of some sort. Then get out of your mothers house. Your marriage deserves a chance...good luck to you

Answer 8

Tell your mother to back off - it's your marriage not hers and your husbands money hot hers. Your brothers problems are not yours and although we all want to help family, when it's appropriate needs to be looked at.

Move out of your mother house and date your husband to see if you have what it takes...relationships are hard and interferance from family should not be tolerated unless it's appropriate to keep you safe.

Answer 9

i can see why your husband wants to file, and you should. you dont deserve him. if your thinking on throwing the marraige away " Just to get your mother off your back" then you totally dont deserve your husband anyways. if you cared your mother woudlnt be allowed to have any input and you would put HIM first. you sound like a little kid who cant make your own decisions. let your husband free, so that he can meet a REAL woman.

Answer 10

Hell no. What will you be stuck with then, an evil mother.

Talk to you husband about this, move back together so you can work things out and cut ties with your mother...at least for a while...at least until she figures out that you are with your husband, not her.

Answer 11

when you got married the pastor said"let no man sperate what god has put togather" that also means nosy mothers. talk to your hubby before it is too late. get his veiws and come up with a plan if you still love each other you need to be devoted to him tell your mother respect my husband or im disowning you. when you got married your hubby became your family.severe all ties if neccisary