hello everyone i have a little problem and i need advice from people i don't know i have been in a abuse of relationship for 4 years.. and i have gave all my love to this guy.. i mean he told me he loved me but i don't know if he really did.. but he hit me for 4 years and on or last anniversay together he didn't evern show up.. when i got a phone call one day that he was moving on that he found another girl. so i put up a restrainng order and tryed to move on. its been 4 months since the break up and i got married to a guy i berley even knew because his mother set the date and pressered me into the wedding.. and i still think about my ex and i am crying right now over him.. don't get me wrong i love my husband but i don't think its with the love he needs i just need to know what to do.. i am trying so hard to move on and get on with my life with a great guy that don't hit me. but every day i stilll think about my ex please help any advice would be good, thanks in advance
2007-07-29 18:58:49 · 11 answers · asked by Melinda D 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi dear,you should consider yourself lucky that you got out and a way from that wolf,The worst thing that could happen to us girls is getting hit by those those sons of().Move on dear forget him ,keep telling yourself that you are the best and deserve the best.Give your husband a chance and go on .Great people like you deserve great people like the man you're with now and not that non-human ware wolf.
Take care.
2007-07-29 19:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by noona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help big time. Why in the world would you even think about the sorry one. A good one is hard to find and a bad one is hard to get rid of. ?
You can learn a lot from your husband but you could still loose your life by the hand of the bad guy.
You have moved on and up. Don't waste your life on the bad one. Give your marriage a fair chance. He doesn't deserve to be hurt. Neither do you.
Your vows are important and you did marry for better or worse. You got better.
There is no future other than heartache with Mr. X .
2007-07-30 02:08:55 · answer #2 · answered by Marti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay sis here's the scoop. You did the right thing getting rid of that bum. ANY man who puts his hands on you DOES NOT love you. He doesn't even love himself. He has anger problems, maybe even drug or alcohol or mental instability or a bad childhood; whatever the reason YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE to fix this guy. You did the best thing you could. You were your own best friend and stopped this idiot from hitting you anymore. Ignore and forget the feelings you think you had for him, you loved his potential, not him. Did you love getting smacked around? NO.
You found a nice man, take the time to heal, seek couseling in an abuse crisis center, your local police department can refer you. This is important to do, so as not to let anyone else ever hurt you again. We all follow behavioral patterns, by seeking counselling, you will no longer give off the vibe that it is ok to victimize you.
I really hope this helps and encourages you on the right path that you have chosen and that loser isn't worth one single tear.
2007-07-30 02:06:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you feel so much confusion and hurt from your ex, that you still don't feel like you've had closure. A lot of times when relationships (good or bad) end suddenly the person left alone is confused and needs to find some answers to feel like they can move on. I'm glad you're out of the abusive relationship but you might need to sit back and actually realize it yourself. I hope you don't feel like it was your fault your ex found a different girl - because it isn't. You didn't do anything to make him hit you, or treat you the way he did. I hope you can move on and make the best life you can with your new loving husband.
2007-07-30 02:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by Kimi Cabanna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the ex out of your mind. He never loved you or he would never have abused you that way. That is not love. That is called wanting to have control over someone. You did rush to quickly into this marriage, but now that you have done it, why not try to make it work? Give it some time, and you may just learn to love him. If you don't, then you can divorce him later. Just don't let yourself get pregnant until you know for sure that you love him. Otherwise you will be making a child very miserable. Good Luck!!
2007-07-30 02:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not give yourself time to heal from your previous relationship before beginning a new relationship, and now the grief, pain and anger of the four years of abuse have surfaced.
Please see a counsellor and discuss these issues in a structured way, so that you can learn how to work through them and move on with your life.
If you feel it is possible, please try to be hoinest with your husband ~ explain that your love and respect him but that the past still has a hold on you. You will need his help and support to work through your problems.
One difficulty I see is that if your husband is unwilling to help you, you may feel trapped by the marriage you have entered into, and it will not work.
However, if he is supportive and generous, there is no reason your new marriage cannot work, once you have had counselling and put the past behind you.
Best wishes and good luck to you :-)
2007-07-30 02:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't get over my ex of 3.5 years for about two years. I never talked with anyone about it and I think if I would have I would've gotten over him sooner. My ex was abusive more verbally and emotionally than physically until I broke it off, but it will take some time. You will be ok. When you start to think of him, do something to take your mind somewhere else! Hope that helps!
2007-07-30 02:04:01 · answer #7 · answered by yepyep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing .... your ex is like a drug ... we know its bad for us ... but !, hang in there every day it gets easier ... think of all the pain and all the hurt that you suffered , then think of the happiness and love and respect you have found ....but if your not happy then this new man is not the one for you either ...move on NEVER go backwards or repeat the same mistake because if you go back to your ex you will show him how weak your are and he will really hurt you or worse ...
2007-07-30 02:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
always given enough time away from that type i got over them, prayer actually helped too that God would help me get over them and find someone better. but a better prayer is for the type of guy that u deserve.Also seek salvation so that u will not have to learn to go to Jesus the hard way- By urgent necessity.
2007-07-30 02:06:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You equate love with abuse - that is the problem.
Go to counseling with your husband so that he can also understand this - and through the counseling, get the help needed to understand that "I love you" never comes from a raised hand.
2007-07-30 02:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋