our is 2.6 year old marriage. we are staying with my parents. 2 days back my wife had some hot talk with my parents ans she left the house and took our 6 month old son. now she told me very clear that i have to chosse only one. whether wife and son or my parents, she is not ready to come back. kindly advice?
2007-07-29 18:47:18 · 20 answers · asked by sumit k 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time to leave home.
Once you are living in your own home, you can try to repair the break between your wife and your parents.
It very rarely works having two families in one house, unless everyone is very generous and works hard at it.
If your wife wants a home of her own, it is time to make one for your own family.
Good luck and best wishes :-)
2007-07-29 19:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without knowing more details, I'd say wife and son. Adults are meant to 'cut the apron strings', so to speak, and move out of their parents' home.
Why are you still living there? Financial reasons? Or because you enjoy the comfort and security of having your parents close by?
How close are you to your parents? I'm assuming that if you live with them, you are still pretty close. Marriage is difficult, especially in those first few years, and there are bound to be problems. If you have someone right there (i.e. your parents) taking your side in every argument, your wife will feel ganged up on. Your arguments and problems should be between the two of you, which is harder to do in a multi-family situation. Even if you don't discuss the issues with your parents, they will still feel the tension and take your side (you're their baby, afterall).
Also, as new parents, there is an added complication. Your wife is ready to stand on her own and be a mother to her child. She is more than likely getting advice from your mother on what to do with the baby and how to raise him. Again, parenting is not something you want to do with someone standing over your shoulder watching every second of the day, especially because your wife will make mistakes. She should be able to make and learn from her mistakes, not have a disapproving grandmother leering at her or making judgemental comments.
Move out of your parents house. Move far enough away that it's only feasible to visit your parents occasionally. Even though your wife is frustrated and angry right now, I am sure she doesn't mean she wants you to cut your parents out of your life completely. Give her some time.
Just make sure you are putting your wife and her needs first. Respect and love her for who she is and for the mother she is to your child. Don't compare her to your mother and don't take your parents' side against your wife (in anything). Once your wife feels that she is valued and respected, she will start feeling secure enough to let Grandma and Grandpa into her life again.
Best of luck!
~Kyanna
2007-07-30 02:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Kyanna S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Ask her to look at this situation from your point of view....i mean you are in a tough spot. one side is your parents. and the other wife and son. And with her asking you to pick one is just a little difficult. Ask her why she doesn't want to move back. Did a problem occur between her and your parents? Maybe theres a resolution? Talk it out with her. Once you figure out what the problem is, it makes life a lot easier.
And if that doesn't work, maybe you moving out with your wife and son would be a better solution?
2007-07-30 01:52:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your own place. Hopefully since you have a child, you have a job. Get your own place - look into even a studio apartment if you have to. Living with your parents (or even hers) is one of the most stressful things you could put your little family through.
Once you are on your own and not living with your parents, then work on your marriage. Find a good counselor (most churches offer little or no cost marriage counseling) and do what needs to be done. If after a few months, your marriage isn't back on track - then consider hiring a good lawyer and moving on.
2007-07-30 01:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You moved her into the house with your parents that is always a bad idea in the first place, but besides the point. Your made family should come first and foremost you choose them at the time you asked her to marry you.Your parents will understand this, they will want you to be happy. Go after her and get your own house for you guys to do the family thing there, maybe at a later point she will calm down with them and have them back in her life, which will allow you to be at easy with the current situation..
2007-07-30 02:10:45 · answer #5 · answered by jacki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you made her live with your parents, she should have left you before she got pregnant. No real man would make his wife live with his parents. Two women in a household does not work. If you are smart you will get a place for you, your wife, and your son, and start acting like a husband and father instead of a mama's boy!!!
2007-07-30 01:52:25 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not really understand your sentence about my wife left me 7, is this 7 times, and what could have happen in your marriage that your wife tell you its either your parent or your wife and son, when you married her you marry her for better or wort's, you got married and became one so everything else come second to you wife,and son this is now you family.
2007-07-30 01:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by I am women 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Submit to her. Try to keep your family together even if you have to take all the punishment and hell. Keeping a family together is most important to you and your family. Instead of thinking about yourself think of your family. Your parents will think, what kind of girl did our son marry? What kind of a son would fall for a girl like that. Your wife will think what the hell was i thinking when i married that idiot. But most of all your kid will think, what happened? Why do all the kids in my school have a mom and a dad but i don't? Is it my fault? Do i not have a dad because of me? So just keep your family together. Say it was all your mistake and solve it out later when you are in the green zone. Good luck
2007-07-30 01:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by David 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she has made it quite clear. Apparently she loves you but is not comfortable living with your parents. That seldom works. Talk to your wife my friend, get a place for the three of you to live and you will be happy. Time to move away from the parents.
2007-07-30 01:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by Marsh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Living with cordial parents would strain the strongest marriage.
A couple needs space to grow and live as adults.
Go and be with the ONLY person you promised to love honour and cherish. If your parents are healthy, they'll understand and help you all make the transition to independence as smoothly as possible.
Above all, to your parents you MUST support your wife and never bad mouth her, regardless of your POV. Otherwise your parents will show the same disrespect to her as you do.
2007-07-30 01:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by alisongiggles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋