How do you dispel utility room wormholes?

Question

Hey guys, I have a wormhole in my utility room that I'm having trouble getting rid of.

I'm come upon this conclusion by the following observations: Over the last couple of years, I have purchased at least a hundred pairs of socks. Once those socks have entered my house, I have never removed them from my home. Yet somehow my collection has been reduced to about a dozen socks, and not a single one has a match.

I have observed that the discrepancy occurs in my utility room. Whenever I bring socks to the washer, I always put in more socks than I take out. There isn't nearly enough lint on the lint tray to account for this discrepancy, so I have concluded that there must be a wormhole.

I have tried various methods of removing the wormhole, but none have succeeded. If anyone can help, it would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

There are three known solutions.

1. Install a hyperbaric filter in the washer drain line. Choose at least twice the recommended capacity to reduce the risk of flooding due to flow reduction, especially if you don't often remove the socks.

2. Perform a thorough topological analysis to the output of the dryer and the space under and around the washer and dryer. This resolves quantum entrapment of socks inside sleeves, and quantum tunneling of socks through the quantum well of each appliance.

3. Buy only black socks and white socks. Murphy's Law requires that a sock can be lost only if would leave a unique orphan.

You've done the science, now do the market analysis and engineering. Now that you figured out where the socks go, who do you think installed the sock separator? Maytag doesn't care. Sears cares, but doesn't sell enough socks to justify the cost. The engineered solution? Don't buy your washing machine from WalMart!

Of course, the best solution is to go barefoot or wear sandals. Then you don't need socks, and it's better for your feet anyway.

Answer 2

This is soooo strange. I have the exact same problem. Back when I had roommates, I thought the roommates took them. Now I have no roommates, and my socks still disappear. The only way I have found to repel sock sucking wormholes is to live within 2-3 miles of a Wal-Mart. In most of the USA this is not a problem. In fact, I think this is why there is a secret government subsidy to place a Wal-Mart every 3 square miles. I have found that Wal-Mart is the opposite end of most wormholes. Check it out next time you are there. They have literally, an infinite supply of socks, in every shape, size, and color. I'm pretty sure I've seen some of my own socks reincarnated at my local Wal-Mart. Check out the closest Wal-Mart to your home. Chances are you will find some of your own socks there. Unfortunately, they make you pay for your socks over and over again each time. At least they ( or the worm hole ) cleans the socks and mends the holes for you.

Answer 3

The best projected solution is a new brightener added to your washed called quantum gravity. It is expected to remove all singularities, which are the ultimate source of your problems. The only thing is that quantum gravity is not yet on the shelf of your favorite store. Until then, there is no solution to the mysterious and universal sock dilemma.

Answer 4

No,regrettably i do no longer,yet my kitchen is especially massive,i can extra healthful all my stuff in it,even a table and four chairs,although god in basic terms knows why i offered a table and four chairs as quickly as I stay on my own!,that's often set for a minimum of two human beings,so I finally end up eating my food,and observing an empty area opposite me,yet set as though someones sat there!,think of i'm going to could invent an imaginary chum,quickly!!!!!!!!!!.