He isn't who he thinks he is? How can I help. It's probably not helpful but I think it is funny?

Question

My husband and I went on vacation last year. We went to meet some of his relatives that he has never met. His mom was adopted and his biological Grandfather died at the age of 45. So we got to meet his grandfather's sister. Well the problem is that on the adoption papers said that he was 100% Italian. Well his great Aunt kept talking about being Indian. So finally I asked where does the Italian fit in. She looked at me puzzed and said "oh, there isn't any Italian."

His grandfather lied on the adoption papers and lied to the women he got pregnant and the sad thing is that we can't ask him why he lied.

My husband's mom's adoptive parents researched and brought his mom up Italian. They wanted her to at least know her own heritage. So she brought my husband up Italian! Now they find out they aren't. So my husband is going through this Identity crisis and he has been kind of depressed about the whole thing. He says, one day I woke up Italian and went to bed Indian

I don't know if he was trying to impress the girl or help his daughter get a good home. In those days, according to his great Aunt there was a stigma of being Indian.

He used to bring up being Italian 300 times a day. Everything was because he was Italian. Oh, he made such a big deal about it, that I even became to love that he was a romantic Italian. It was seriously carved into his life growing up

Answer 1

lol, it is a funny story.

But it comes down to he is who he is.

He was raised as an italian, living and believing in thier customs. Then guess what? That makes him Italian. The fact that his blood line is indian makes no difference. He wasn't raised beliving in the indians traditions and customs, so he isn't an Indian.

Tell him no he woke up Italian and went to bed Italian. It's who he is and who he always will be.

Answer 2

As someone who lived through a very similar experience, I can assure you that it is not funny to him. There are a number of emotions that are playing out in his head. Was he lied to intentionally? Is this just a bad dream? Maybe I am not at all related to these people? Then there's the guilt issue where you feel that it is somehow your own fault!
Yes, it is an identity crisis for him and he will get through it. He may want to talk about it and understand the whole thing better, or he may file the whole thing in a hidden box in his conscience to just make it go away. Be understanding, but don't try to tell him how to feel about it. He'll reconcile it in his own way and then move on.

Peace,

Buzzy

Answer 3

Have to agree, would be very funny if he wasnt so cut up about it ; end of the day
"Its a wise child that knows its own father "
He has to accept his Grandfather was doing what he thought best for the family at the time, - so be thankful for that,
just tell him that he must have been Italian in a past life!
Mumma mia

Answer 4

That sounds sad girl, i don't really think it's funny, i mean think about, what if your whole life you thought you came from this background to find out your not, i bet he upset and confused and just doesn't know what to do or think, you need to be there for him and tell him he can talk to you about this and anything to help him, let him no, he can be anyone he wants to be, just because he found out he's not really italian doesnt' mean he has to stop with that background, he can go on being italian if he choose's....no matter what, just be there for him and if you laugh and make fun of it in front of him, it's bound to upset him and start drama, so be supportive...

Answer 5

OMG! That's the funniest thing I have heard all day.

Give this message to your husband for me

"How...me like it meatball too kimmosabe!"

LMAO

Answer 6

How pathetic.....