How bad and often do married couples really fight? And what's your opinion on when it crosses the line?

Answer 1

I have been married for a year and me and my husband don't fight, but we do have dissagreements. I feel like you should never have to scream and shout to get your point across. I think the line has been crossed when you start cursing at one another and showing disrespect. Once you have done that, it is very hard to go back and change things. A healthy relationship is based on communication.... it is the key to happiness!

Answer 2

It depends. How long have you been married? How well do you know each other? How well did you know each other when you got married? How old were you when you got married?

Spouses fight. Couples fight. Friends fight. We are never going to agree one hundred percent of the time on all of the same issues. The intensity of the fighting depends on the emotional maturity of the people involved. It also depends on their willingness to really listen to the other person and determination to make things work out. Married couples have little arguments all the time..."I told you to stop picking making fun of my 70 year old drunk Uncle Sal at the family picnic" "I thought when you said 'Get me a small salad, you said 'Get me a gigantic cheeseburger" and so on. If you are having rip roaring, raging fights ever day, every other day, or once a week you are probably in trouble. Or, if you are having "no speaking" contests with each other on a regular basis you are probably in just as much trouble.

Do you guys get physical with each other when you fight? If so, you have a big problem. Do you guys resort to name calling and say really hurtful, mean things on a regular basis? How often do you sit down and actually have real conversations with each other that don't involve the noise level getting out of control? If the answer is "not often" or "rarely" then you've got a huge problem.

Answer 3

Here I go. So many people are going to disagree with me on this, but I think that crossing the line is when abuse is involved. I say this because in the beginning, couples, even those madly in love, fight A LOT. We say things we don't mean. We yell. We cuss. We throw things. We do things we shouldn't do.
Everyone these days seems to have rose colored glasses, and they want what they see in the media. We have to understand that in order to get a strong relationship, we have to go through hardships.
The hardest part of being in a relationship is forgiving. There are times when I was so upset at someone for something he did, and if I had left him, I would not be in the happy marriage I am in now. And? I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Remember that as long as you both see the problem when things settle down, you'll most likely grow out of it. Just don't stand for abuse, and always be faithful to each other, and you'll be fine. =)
Sorry I wrote a book here, but I hope it helps!

Answer 4

Separation of church and state would make those un-winnable battles; besides the bible has no bias against sterile people so the second part of the question is invalid anyhow. As politically incorrect as it may be the vast majority of Americans (regardless of religious background) find homosexuality distasteful. Honestly I see very little energy going into anti-homosexuality. In general, we've come somewhat accustom to it and have grown to tolerate it over the years. The problem I have is having it forced upon us... as a father of three I wouldn't appreciate a heterosexual parade rolling down main street with straight couple groping each other either. Personally I could care less what is done in private... just please keep it that way! P.S. The bible isn't against sexual relations for pleasure... that is a cultural (not biblical) principle: Proverbs 5: 18-19 18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

Answer 5

Our fights had gotten bad off & on our entire marriage. It had gotten physical a couple of times, always induced by her...her trying to slap me or throwing something. For me it was when she started doing it in front of the kids. She would talk down to me a pick a fight with me at anytime & it got to the point she didn't really know what was going on. She tried to hit me once in front of them & that was it for me. I had asked her to atleast take it into the bedroom so the kids didn't have to see what they were hearing, but she wouldn't stop...so I left.

It has actually been a good thing. I've spent much more quality time with the kids & when things start going do that old familiar road, I just leave & go to my apartment. I only live about 15 minutes from them, so I still see them a lot & without all the craziness.

Answer 6

We've been married for 15 years and I can't even think of one "fight". We've had disagreements but we always talk things out. I think it's crossing the line when you start calling each other names. I've wanted to, but I always bite my tongue. His father gave us some advice when we got married, about fighting. It was simply "never go to bed angry". We never have. We've sat up late nights talking to get over things but we always snuggle up to each other after we come to an agreement.(or have amazing make up sex) Close friends of ours used to spend lots of time fighting. At least weekly. Loud fights, sleeping on the couch, sometimes separating for a little while. They're much better now, maybe they've worked it all out?? What I've learned is that even though they fight more, they love each other as much as we do. Each couple is different. We all work things out in our own way.

Answer 7

Married for a couple years now and we never really fight. We irritate each other with our personalities and little quirks, of course, but no full blown yelling and screaming fights. I'm too affectionate a person to ever let something get too serious.

It would certainly cross the line if either one of us ever even considered hitting each other...not actually doing it, but just considered doing it.

Answer 8

We have been married 24 years and had 4 real fights-- all about how we were raising our kids.I thought he was to lenient with regards to curfews and punishments.They turned out okay so we did alright.Most married couples fight about money-we never had that problem as I pay the bills and do the shopping and he doesn't have a problem with that.I can say in a good marriage the couple rarely fight.A bad marriage they fight all the time.We are very lucky to have a good marriage. There has never been physical or emotional abuse in our relationship.

Answer 9

If you are hitting each other than the fight has gone too far. My first marriage we fought a lot. The man I am with now, 7 years and only one big fight. Little small arguments and fights are normal.

Answer 10

I dont know if this applies to friendships, but generally if that person isnt making you happy the majority of the time then it may need reconcidering.

Some people just tend to be more thick skinned, and wont let it get to them so easily. I tend to be the reverse. I mean if you think of it objectivly why would you stay in a partnership where you gain nothing and lose quite a bit, you wouldnt