Does sex change anything?

Question

My bf and I are virgins and are going to have sex soon. We love each other, and are worried that we will act weird around each other after we do it. Should we be worried about this, or will this bring us together like we hope?

Answer 1

Sweetie, virgins are *always* nervous. Just be yourselves, be gentle, don't be afraid to giggle and bless you both. Congratulations.

Answer 2

The question depends on both of your backgrounds.

If you have been brought up to be healthy emotionally and to recognize that sex is a positive, not a negative -- then having sex will draw you closer together and help your relationship reach the next level.

If you have been brought up to be emotionally damaged and to believe that sex is bad -- then you will have to work much harder -- a good test for this is to each ask yourself two questions:

One. how you feel about being homosexual -- is it a good thing that you are alright with -- or does it bother you. A healthy person will not have any problem with whatever they are -- an unhealthy person may have a problem there.

Two. how you feel right after sh**ting when you masturbate. If you feel content, happy, relaxed with no negatives -- that is a good sign. That is the normal way that a person naturally feels at that point. On the other hand, if you feel badly -- like you did something wrong, or you should be ashamed or disgusted -- then your natural tendencies and feelings have been warped by unnatural teachings about your own body - and there may be a problem.

If you think that there may be a problem, you still should not "hold back," just be prepared for any negative feelings that arise because of outside forces that have influenced you over the years, and actively mentally and if necessary verbally reject them when they arise. This will help over a fairly short time to purge these types of feelings from you -- leaving you healthier in this relationship and in your future -- either together (hopefully) or perhaps with other partners in time.

Good luck, email me if you need to talk.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 3

First, how old are you? Have you discussed pregnancy protection? If your bf is putting pressure on you, then the answer is clearly no, don't do it for that reason. Sex can be wonderful, and it can be the icing on the cake. But, if you aren't ready, it can be a disaster. You are smart in asking first, and really taking the time to think this through. Have you or can you discuss this with your parents? If you love one another, and you are committed to one another, it shouldn't make you feel weird. One thing that concerns me is your question about it bringing you together. If you are not already "together", then sex won't help. If you are together mentally & emotionally, it may make you feel closer. Email me privately if you want to discuss further.

Answer 4

Well.... this is really a crap shoot.

Since you are both neophytes to having sex, you seem to love one another, and you are about to get to know each other in this new way, the chances are that you will find this incredibly important. Waiting to have sex with one another has probably helped to enhance this.

On the down side, your age may have an impact on this. The older you are when you "lose your virginity" (hate that term, BTW), the more likely you will be to have the maturity to also manage the relationship issues you will face. You may also have invested a great deal into the sex ACT (as opposed to the sexual attraction), and if it doesn't go well, you may find that you don't find one another as attractive as you thought before.

Human love relationships are incredibly complicated, and there are no simple answers to your question. The bottom line, however, is that you both seem to have decided that sex means something about love, and as such, you are both expressing caring and love for one another. Keeping that in mind, you're more likely to figure out a way to make it all fit together, because you are doing it as a way to become more close to one another.

Good luck.

- {♂♂} - {♂♀} - {♀♀} -

(BTW, I was with the man of my dreams for 11 years [he died of cancer], and I know that sex as a way of showing love can work wonderfully.)

- {♂♂} - {♂♀} - {♀♀} -

Answer 5

It might. It depends on the people.

I don't think it's weird that you should be worried about. However I think you may need to be concerned about the addiction. Some guys can't control themselves.

But you don't know for sure until you try. It its going to happen, just get it over with. Also I should point out if the first time sucks it could just be because your stressed.

Answer 6

Sex does change things. At first it may go unnoticeable to both of you (only). You guys will feel closer together and better. Feelings get deeper and stronger (more painful). And the male usually gets very possesive on the female.

Answer 7

Wait until your married, it will mean so much more then. It does change everything. There is nothing closer than a sexual relationship and that is best (and intended) to be shared in marriage where both partners are soley committed to one another FOR LIFE. You're worth waiting for.

Answer 8

Yes, it does seem that way, once you have sex with them, sometimes it just is not the same. It could be a good thing, and sometimes it can be a bad thing. It is just a chance, you have to be willing to take, in your case I hope it is a good thing. Good Luck.

Answer 9

If you are asking this that means you are not ready. Don't do this because you want to get closer. Every case is different, but I will tell you that after you have sex there are more responsibilities for you guys and should take that into consideration and please, please, always protect yourself. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Don't be worried! Love is love, and if you tuly are in a loving relationship then get it on. Just make sure you are comfortable in doing it.