we didnt have sex before we go married but 1 or 2 times and of course we did on our honeymoon and i know that i dont have a problem in that area but i dont know what to do i is really starting to hurt my feelings??? help someone tell me what i should say, do, or how to act??
2007-07-29 15:45:38 · 18 answers · asked by hozer101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok just to let yall know we lived together 2 years before we got married but i really did want sex to be all the relationship was so we only had sex maybe 3 times at the most!! he tells me that he doesnt want kids right now same here thats why im on bc and then another excuse is he is tired??? my pass realtionship the other man was always horing and would never take no for an answer so now when he is telling me know im just really confused??? i guess what im trying to say is we are married and newlyweds at that were is the sex life??? is there anything that he can take if he is willing?? HELP
2007-07-30 04:13:21 · update #1
He's your husband. If you want to have sex with him then seduce him.
Don't always leave it up to him to make the first move.
Men love to know that you want them.
Get off this computer and go romance, then seduce, your husband ;D
2007-07-29 15:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just another great argument for why people should live together and have a sexual relationship before they are married.
There's nothing wrong with you, but he quite obviously has a very different sex drive than yours, You can talk frankly to him and perhaps by letting him know your needs, you can come to some kind of compromise, but ultimately the two of you have fundamentally different libido levels. Everyone is different, and you two happen to be quite different?Too bad you didn't find this out before marriage, so now you get to learn how to live with it, or, if a healthy sex life is very important to you, you may have to think about moving on...
Ok, after reading your additional comments, all I have to say is...what did you expect?
You lived with him for 2 YEARS and only had sex 3 TIMES? Sure, you're saying you didn't want the relationship to be all about sex, but if that was also just fine with him, then you pretty much should have seen this coming. Why in the world did you think putting a ring on your finger would make anything any different. He's obviously not that interested in sex (some people just aren't) and you set up the expectation that sex would only be expected 3 times in two years, kind of unfair for you to come around expecting more now.
2007-07-29 22:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by Rum R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will admit i'm not pro. in this area because i've never been married. But from what i've heard, newlyweds usually have sex ALL THE TIME. I doubt it has something to do with you. It probably is something he is going through. Give him a little time, then put a very sexy outfit and treat him like a king for that night. I'm sure he will enjoy the release and it will probably get him back into that "lovin" feeling.
If that doesn't work, you might want to try some type of couple's therapy.
2007-07-29 22:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by laangel464 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All I can say is, why dont you talk to your husband "heart to heart" open up with him for what is bothering on you, ask him a question, like a romantic part about the couple they usually make as a husband and wife. There is nothing wrong to ask him maybe your husband is'nt a type of a man hungry for sex and maybe for him a relationship like a husband and wive's is not all about sex but more of showing how you guys are caring to each other......
2007-07-29 23:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maby he's really tired, sometimes work is exausting, It might be he's not the kind of man that it has to be sexual all the time, like the other guy you said.
It would be better if you clear things with him before it gets worse. Your answer is in your husband, not in us.
2007-08-02 22:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by Mamie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain to your husband that when you have sex you are "hearing" him say "I love you!" different people hear "I love you" in different ways. for some, an act of service does it...like washing the dishes after dinner. for some gifts work..like occasionally bringing home flowers, or a special treat (favorite snack/candy). for some, it's time...like going on a date, etc. i'm guessing for you it must be touch (since you want sex).
the five love languages are:
touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts. the problem is that we usually don't "speak" the same language as our spouse. we need to "hear" what they "speak" and "speak" what they "hear." figure out what his language is and "speak" it to him, then you can use that as an example when you talk this over with him.
2007-07-29 22:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by florida-native 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I cant believe what these people have replied to you, ! Have you been the only one for him? Alot of times men are just shy or dont know how to express what they want until much later. Try setting a mood with candles,music and lighting with his favorite meal and tell him how much you love him and that "being" with him is very important to you and the way you feel, and your security . Then tell him that he should never be scared to tell you what he likes and dislikes,youre his partner,his best friend. good luck
2007-07-29 22:52:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be looking for your answer from him. Talk to him. He is the only one that can answer that question. If you cannot openly talk to your partner, then maybe you shouldn't be married. Gotta be open with each other to have a healthy marriage.
2007-07-29 23:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by old hippie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't leave it up to him all the time. The more you do, the more you leave it up to him to initiate, the more he's going to believe that you are never in the mood and that you don't ever want it. Any decent man is going to read those signals and won't want to force anything upon you, and therefor will gradually become less and less aggressive.
2007-07-29 22:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may be your hubby has some medical problems. Try urging him to go to the doctor with you, so that you can address it together. If he's uncomfortable with you, then encourage him to get a physical and chat with his doctor. It may also be that he's adjusting to married life with you. It's quite a haul for anyone. Give your marriage time.
2007-07-29 22:51:19 · answer #10 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋