I hurt the love of my life, now she dosn't love me anymore?

Question

I was confused with my the love of my life and we were having problems and I hurt her so many times and now she suddenly doesn't love me anymore, and it's all my fault, I made her that way, she left me and I feel devastated I love her so much, she says she wants to be with me forever but she just doesn't feel like before and she doesn't think her feelings will come back, what can I do to have her back again? I love her so much I can't lose her,

To teenie, I never ever cheated on her ever, I only have eyes for her, I never even talk or check out women in respect for her, I do understand the concept of making love, I feel the same way, I'm the kind of guy that gives affection, I'm not like other guys, I would only make love to her, I see it as a way to express all my emotions to her, like I said i'm not like most guys who just want sex, never I truly love her and make LOVE to her. I have always been loyal and faithful to her and I always will be. What I did was i took things to far and took "breaks" because I felt aggravated but I didn't realize how much that hurted her to the point she is too scared to get hurt again, now that I know how it feels I will never ever do that to her again. I love her so very much.

Answer 1

you can only kick a dog down so many times before it bites you.

sorry, your loss

Answer 2

Having problems in any relationships are normal. Its how we handle them is what defines us. It appears you handled them poorly and have left a woman hurt just one too many times. In your own words you write - she says she wants to be with me forever but she just doesn't feel like before and she doesn't think her feelings will come back - Her feelings were pure for you and for your reasons you felt you had to distance yourself with breaks and each time her heart was hurt it put more distance in keeping the two of you close. We tends to always "want" those things really badly when they are gone from us for good. Its human nature really. Sometimes it nice knowing there is someone there for us when and if we need them and now you know she just isn't thinking she can open her heart to you again. You know you can't blame her. But here is what you can do.

First write her a letter explaining to her why you did everything you did and why you felt the need to do it. Explain how you never understood how this hurt her. Explain to her the love you have for her and how real it is and you will wait on HER terms to have her in your life again. Explain you will take her as friends to start in order to proove your good intentions. Please do not send an email. If you love this woman then do some old fashioned courting. If you do not hear back from her, then you are going to have to mend your heart and learn from your mistakes.

Understand that with each relationship we are in we are supposed to learn something and this might have been a huge lesson here for you. I am sorry you are in pain and I hope you follow through on my suggestion. And I am sorry if things done work out. Always remember though..... now that your eyes are opened and if you write that letter , you did what you could and that means you can have closure.

Answer 3

The best thing you can do now is give her space right now. And realize that when you hurt someone deeply that the feelings change for her it will never be the same. When you see someone in a certain light and all of a sudden that light becomes dim you don't see them the same anymore. And that is exactly what happened here. Give her time maybe she will come around if you redeem yourself and or truly sorry for what you done. Show her by your actions that you are sorry and not by your words. And maybe just maybe you two can get past this.

Answer 4

Turn about is fair play, they say. You hurt her and now you are hurting. No sympathy here. I will tell you, though, you can never go back. If she came back to you it would never be as good. She would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. She probably wouldn't ever let you forget how your hurt her. Chalk this up as experience. Treat the next woman in your life the right way. I feel badly for your x. First you hurt her and now she is hurting because her dreams have been shattered, too. What a waste of time.

Answer 5

well, one good thing about you is your a real man not afraid to be in touch with your feminine side. but, you have to admit there is a problem to of made her leave and not want to come back to you. first thing is first you know the problem. fix it then fight like hell to get her back and make her trust and love you again. the love brought you together the first time. it may be a little messed up right now but, if the love was that strong in the beginning it is that strong still. just got to prove yourself to win her back. honesty is the best policy. tell her how you feel and let her know your every move. maybe she just needs a break from you. even the closet of lovers need a break. if you love someone let them go if they come back to you it was meant to be. keep your head up, i think she loves you but, you may of been giving her two different signs by calling it off then on a game. love is for real not a game that you want to play once in a while. it is hard to keep together with two mature adults working at it every day every minute and every second. i will say some prayers for you. its your turn to turn on the charm. good luck dee

Answer 6

The answers given here on the forum can't make an excuse or justify her feeelings toward you. If she's had it, she's had it. There is pretty much nothing that can be said here that can change the mind of the other individual that doesn't or no longer share the same feelings as you do. Instead of posting personal information about yourself and marriage or relationship status, seek counselling or some other forn of professional help. This (answers posted here) won't help. Besides, depression hurts.

Answer 7

My husband has done exactly what you have done, (although his 'breaks' included other women - just talking he says hmmmm). At least 20 times now he has promised he sees the light . . . Honestly, he was the love of my life - and every time he has done this to me a piece is chipped away. I have spent the last year with my heart on the floor in actual physical pain and then he makes his promises and I, wanting to feel better give in. I don't have everything figured out yet but I know I will have to cut it off completely, though I love him. It is just too painful. You don't know what you have until it's gone I guess. I suggest you ask yourself is your longing for her now just selfishness? Only you know yourself and know whether if she comes back you actually have learned a lesson and will treat her right. If you can't don't prolong her pain. You lose.

Answer 8

You can only hurt someone so much...If you screwed up and she left you, it must be because she's fed up with your goings and goings....

Sometimes even though we love someone we realize they are NOT going to change, so we prefer to walk away. Sounds like she's decided to do just that...! There is the saying that " a straw can break a camel's back"....

As for you, I hope you learn from this experience...Hopefully, you will see that when good things come along we should take care of them and not misuse or abuse them. In case she does decide to forgive and forget, you should never take her for granted again.

Answer 9

You just had to go out and screw another woman or women.If you men knew what that does to us i know you would never do it again. I will try to explain what you done to your wife and maybe that will help you to get her back. When we look into your eyes we see love, hope, comfort, feeling safe,proud to be married to you,we feel special because we are the only woman you want to be with to make love to. We know we can trust you because of all the emotions we share. All gone in that slit second when you chose to stab us in our backs you turned on us and with that went our love and emotions . To you men it's just sex it meant nothing but to us women when we make love to you it's not just sex, for us it's every emotion we have for you,and you just gave all that to another woman . What you did was give the innocents of your marriage away and made it dirty. Now if you can fix all that with your wife then you can get her back.You being a guy I bet you don't understand anything i just wrote.

Answer 10

Those breaks made it possible for you to cheat if you wanted. That's probably why they felt like cheating to her. So, if it is over, let it be over. You've probably already explained to her how much you love and need her but you may be fooling yourself. You may NEED those breaks you kept taking. So learn something about yourself and move on. Start from the beginning and find a new relationship and let the old relationship be a source of education for the new relationship. And let your old girlfriend go so she can go on and enjoy her life!

Answer 11

I would say to anyone, love is a powerful word, it just can not be taking for granted, when people trust you with there love you should value the moment, because life is to short to play with it. The best thing for you to do, is go and apologize to her over and over, until she get tried of you saying it to her. You will have to keep working at the relationship, but if she will not forgive you, then you need to move on, but again trust and love is very powerful thing to put in another hand, just to be taking for granted.