I have friends that were married young and now it seems like they have just accepted their faith... I don´t see them happy or in love nor demonstrate any enthusiasm about going home at the end of the day. Isn´t it a big waste of LIFE? I am saying this because I´m Brazilian and here things are sort of different... People get married when they´re older (around 30) but they seem a lot happier, they don´t just settle down... I know I can´t generalize, I´m sure there´s lots of happy people out there...
2007-07-29 14:33:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not FAITH, but FATE....... lol sorry
2007-07-29 14:33:51 · update #1
How can you say (American men) like they cornered the market on broken marriages.I get so sick of people from different countries talking about us like we are stupid selfish arrogant people. Well arrogant i take back because we can be pretty arrogant at times.
2007-07-29 14:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are unhappy. I am very happily married for over 9 yrs. Now age may or may not have something to do with it. I was 22 when I got married and I am 32 now. I think the problem is that people get married for the wrong reasons and do not take the time and effort to make their marriages work. Marriage is not for the immature. You need to be committed to that person and be willing to do what ever it takes to make that marriage work. Divorce should only be used as a last resort or in cases of affairs and abuse.
2007-07-29 21:43:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally get your point! I consider myself to be happily married, but I know a lot of people who are unhappy. To me, it seems like many of the unhappy ones tend to focus on the things they don't have, rather than appreciating what they do have. If the neighbor has a bigger house, a better car, smarter kids, a prettier wife, or a spouse that has a better job, then all of the sudden, they feel like their situation doesn't measure up. I think a lot of people assume that marriage is easy, and when they find out that it isn't all sunshine and roses, they don't know what to do to make things better and end up settling or giving up, instead of working their butts off to get what they want.
2007-07-29 23:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by lchurc01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what men you are meeting that act like they aren't happy. My husband and I are very happy and we've been married since we were young and are now 50. I think this younger generation isn't as happy as we were. First, life gets more complicated year after year. Second, many young people were given so much by their parents that they expect to be pampered as adults. So, when they get married, if they don't get everything their way, they get unhappy. Sharing and compromising are difficult for them. People in the U.S. are getting married later now, too, by the way. But, I still don't think they are happier. The longer they are single, the harder it is to share, compromise and communicate. The longer you have things your own way, the harder it is to let your spouse have a turn having things his/her way.
2007-07-29 21:39:38 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
everyone is so concerned about the wedding that they don't think about the marriage. Married couples face many hardships and just can't keep it together. We are a money focused society and almost half of marriages end in divorce due to money issues. Also, it's so easy to get divorced that 'till death do us part' has no meaning. Marriage is work and not an eternal honeymoon. I think a lot of people don't realize that.
2007-07-29 21:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because people get married because its "the time to do it" not because they know they are ready for that step, individually. Or because they have found someone "good" but haven't take the steps to really think and analyze the relationship they are in and whether that person is the best out there for them.
Overall, relationships are a ton of work--no matter where you are from. People get caught up in the day-to-day and forget to take the time to feed and nuture their relationship with their partner so that it can grow.
2007-07-29 21:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by therover4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, I do believe it's because we marry way to young over here. And sad to say I was one of them too, and now I'm divorced.
In my situation I really do believe it was we married too young. My ex was 24 and I was 23. What happened later in life, as we mature even more, we grew apart. It wasn't his fault and it wasn't mine. Now had I waited until I was older and more settled and knew what would make me happy, I really don't think I would have ever married my ex to begin with. And that's looking back at how he was as we were dating, not as we were having problems in the marriage.
Just thinking of how he was then, if that were today, I would never have married him. So that would have been 1 mistake never made.
All because of age. Sad to say.
But as you get older, our needs and wants all change too. And when we are going through that stage, that's when we are no longer happy in our marriages.
So I do agree with you :D
2007-07-29 21:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a great point. One of the reasons I havent married so far.
There are too many people in love with the idea of being married and have not a clue about what it really is all about.
Some do of course as you said but in the USA many people are quick to get married and quick to not try and work out their problems and just get a divorce as well.
2007-07-29 21:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by sociald 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its just hard, regardless of how old you are or how committed and in love you are...marriage isn't a dream walk that the media (and even sometimes our families and friends) make it out to be...so many people go into it thinking that they'll have butterflies in their stomachs for years and then when things slow down, they'll just be hanging out sipping tea with their best friend for the rest of their lives...and they forget that no one told them the truth...that it takes a ton of work to make a marriage work. And many people aren't willing to put in what it takes, so they are unhappy and divorce or are unhappy and live with it
2007-07-29 22:01:12 · answer #9 · answered by its about time 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably for the same reasons that some women are unhappy within the marriage. But I would like to know where that you get your statistics as I don't believe that the numbers are as high as you believe. I would imagine that what you see are only within your circle of friends.
2007-07-29 21:44:42 · answer #10 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Americans fall into the day to day routine and grow distant and bored with their marriages. Especially if they got married when very young. Ive noticed this in men and women. Its not everyone but im noticing it more and more these days. Its sad in my opinion. You have to keep things fresh and exciting if you want it to last.
2007-07-29 21:39:03 · answer #11 · answered by Kris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋