am i a good poet?im just a teen?

Question

Backstaber
the sky is turning red and they are dripping tears,
for the people that are hurting,and filled with cold bloody fears.
the ones with the guns,
pull the triggers,when their done.
the cutters blame themselves,
they bleed to death,they cut their heart right out.
you take the knife and put it right through me way to many times,
just to show the blood on the knife,
and to show people what you do after a fight.
your eyes,
makes me want to cry,
and they make me die for my lies.
you called me a fake,
let me tell you.
look in the mirror,
look into your reflection.
do you see the people your destroying?
who's the fake now,
hear the words come out of my mouth.
how could you think i was so dumb,i'm only numb.
tell me ahead,
these things you did and why.
yeah,who's the backstaber now?
memories,
promises,
all gone because of what you become.
lairs,
backstabers,
look what you done.
what do i do?your the pieces of the puzzle,
continue next question

Answer 1

ehh.... i'm a teen too... every poem written by one of my peers seems to be incredibly dark... so much so that it is getting a little trite... try writing a poem with a more interesting emotion as the theme :) otherwise i like your style baby!

Answer 2

You asked a question about "you", not your poem. The question is whether or not you are a good poet...which is like asking whether or not you are a good person. Yes, it is. The point is that you are a poet, good or bad is subjective and you are only as good as your last poem, which is why you always try to make your next poem a little better than the last. So, don't worry if any of us think you are a good poet, or a bad poet, as long as we recognize you as being a poet.

As far as your poem goes, it's "okay". I wish I could tell you it was better, but I can't. I hear some parts that are pretty good, fresh perspective, but too much of it is angst ridden anger and vitrolic hyperbole. A poem should not be a laxative to rid yourself of the anger you feel for someone; it should be an outlet, yes, but it should make us see "why" you feel what you feel so we can share your vision and pain or joy. What we have here is a poem that serves only to make us witnesses to a private onesided diatribe against someone you don't particularly like all that much. So, what's the point? If we don't feel what you feel, we can't share your hatred, we can't experience your pain.

What I'd recommend, which you can do or not do as you so choose, would be to take this poem and completely rewrite it. Rewrite it with the idea of putting us into your shoes, show us why we should care about you, or explain to us who did you wrong or what was done to you so that we can share your pain. Poetry is about communication...if you speak "at" us, we hear you, but we don't feel you...speak "to" us, bring us in, and we'll understand you...and that's what it's all about.

Again, I can hear you have something to say, and at times border on eloquent, but you need to be less venomous and more communicative.

You can listen to those who tell you what you want to hear, or you can listen to those who are trying to provide you what we believed you wanted: an honest critique. Not all feedback is good news, but if you want to improve, you need to at least take what we say under consideration. That's what we did for you.

keep writing...post your revision if you want and let us see how you've improved.

Answer 3

While I understand your choice of subject matter has the aim to be deep and powerful, it's extremely hyperbolized. The poem lacks subtly. I'm not completely against it, your rhyme works well and, unlike most poems from this age group, the rhythm is not bad at all. The only qualm I have is its theme. It's a bit overblown. Just remember that poetry is about much more than theme. It is about wordplay. It about using simple language to paint masterpieces of depth and emotion, or compose symphonies of beauty and majesty. This does not mean that the images and wordplay cannot be dark. One of my favorite poems is a simple paragraph that depicts a dictator spilling human ears across is dinning room table to display to his house guest. However, what makes this poem deem and chilling is not the dark image of severed human flesh, but the fact that is image is juxtaposed against a simply family dinner. Just keep at it and remember that your poetry does not have to be about dark things, or happy things, or even any things, but it simply has to be a collection of words that form something beyond simple language. It is about the beauty of the writing above all else. Keep at it and I'm sure you'll be fine.

Answer 4

Here's my suggestion: stay in school,
keep writing, but read lots more than
you write. Experience more, and by
that, I mean, work a month of hard days,
bring home meager pay, try making
ends meet, catch your lover in a cheat,
when you hate things enough to love them
and love things enough to hate them,
then you've earned your first pen and first
sheet of paper. Act like that's all you get,
make it count!

Answer 5

I ♥ It!!!! I am i young teen too. i've won many poetry contests, and that my friend is enough to win you a prize! i LOVE it