I need help with my conclusion please?

Question

So the question is Write an essay describing some of the varieties of slavery systems and circumstances of saves that Equiano experienced or witnessed. Where or what type of slave do you think it was better or worse to be back then and why?

so heres my conclusion.

Slavery systems have been in existence ever since human civilization has been developed to form a society. The reason certain slavery systems differ from others depends upon how the individuals from the specific society choose to carry out their actions upon their slaves. Some feel that it is mandatory to inflict harm on their slaves to remind them of their status in the society. However, while others view that if one treats their slave without abusing them their servant in return would gladly carry out their commands and duties without hesitation.

can anyone make it sound a bit better and edit it for me if possible?

Answer 1

shouldn't you be saying what your opinion is in closing?other than that it sounds fine.

Answer 2

To do a real good evalution of it I would have to read the entire paper. A conculsion is suppsosed to be a summation of what you discussed in your paper.
However, your first sentance doesn't make sense to me.

Throughout time human civilizations have always developed to form societies. In this time different types of slavery systems developed and these systems varied from society to society. The reason for this was the different societal views on how slaves should be treated. Some feel that it is mandatory to inflict harm on their slaves to remind them of their status in the society. However, while others view that if one treats their slave without abusing them their servant in return would gladly carry out their commands and duties without hesitation.

I also think that you need a really strong ending sentance.. however without reading your paper I am unsure of what it is. Email me if you need more help!

Answer 3

Slavery systems appear to have existed well before recorded history. From these records, we learn that the systems differed according the specific society. Some societies felt it mandatory to inflict pain upon their slaves to keep them in submission. Others believed that treating slaves well, without abusing them, would elicit gratitude and better work from them.

The above example indicates how I'd write your conclusion. It's short, to the point, and not repetitive.