Honestly, tell me what you think? Title: Dreams?

Question

Painted images in your mind,
of beautiful things and times,
of people you've never seen,
of places you've never been
of fear like you've never felt,
But only in a dream!

Answer 1

Hmm my honest opinion, honest opinion...ok. This may come across harsh, if it does I'm sorry--not my intent. Have you ever read a book, or seen a movie, and you wonder how it's going to wrap up, then you come to the end and they say, "And then we woke up." You feel like you've wasted hours of your life. Your poem didn't ask for that time commitment, but it gave a similar payoff. It was only a dream--so what then. The problem here is this poem is only one-dimensional and doesn't impact the reader in any way. It's just a surface thing which makes it ineffective.

I'm not commenting on your ability, or even your desire to write (I've written things that don't work too, and will do it again that's just part of the process of writing).

You asked for an honest opinion. This is my opinion. I hope that you can see at least why it didn't work for me.

Best wishes keep writing.

Answer 2

The third line makes no sense.

How can you have images of someone you've never met?

Answer 3

I think it has potential, but its not backed up with feeling. Dreams, like poetry, are very personal...take each of these thoughts and expand with words from the heart...YOUR heart, YOUR dreams.

Answer 4

Sorry, it's nothing special. Sounds like stuff we all wrote in junior high.

Answer 5

Eh... I've read worse, I've read better. Amatuer.

Answer 6

can be 'tightened' some more IE
people never seen
places.......

Answer 7

not bad