heartache & pain, will it ever end?

Question

i lost the love of my life, he broke up with me ten months ago. i have a new bf..who i feel like i can't even talk to about things. my ex i told everything, i was very comfortable. if i told my family they would think i was crazy..if i told my bff she would think im crazy. i'm telling you guys, you can think im crazy, that doesn't matter to me, but i need to get it off my chest. have you lost the love of your life, you feel like you have nobody left in your life? you're not happy anymore. i do believe in god, but i've been so hurt these past ten months, i'm losing belief. i don't understand why i deserve so much pain, when i've done nothing wrong. it's not just heartache, i've come to almost being killed in a car accident (not my fault, other cars fault.) i feel like i have lost everything, and what's the point of living? my life seems like it's over before it started, i'm only 20 yrs. old. no i'm not suicidal, never have been, never will be. i could never bring myself to do such a ..

...horrible disgusting thing. my ex and i dated for almost three years. he broke up with me because he said the bad outweighed the good. we fought over stupid petty ****, that was over in 5-10 minutes. sometimes we'd have the big arguments, but every relationship does right? he's happy now, he found someone else. he has the job of his dreams, and wonderful family (not his own with the girl, but his relatives and what not.) what else could he ask for? he's perfectly happy. he's never had his heart broken. he's obviously okay because he broke up with me and found someone else. when does he get to feel the pain? never. he's happy and content. he has the family, gf, friends, job..all he could ever ask for. i've had my heart broken horribly by him obviously. it's been ten months, and i still love him and miss him. i still hurt like hell. today i questioned why he gets all the happiness, he doesn't shed the tears. why me? what did i do? it's almost as if God officially hates me...

..i've almost died in a car accident 8 months after we broke up, i'm on the edge of losing my bff..my mother isn't doing well, i keep getting hurt. i have nobody, i have my own business, that i'm proud of. who at the age of 20 can say that have their own retail business? not many. that's the only thing that makes me happy, and it's not even the happiest i could be. i'm not saying i need a guy to make me happy. but when i look into the future, he's the only one i see. i don't want to settle for someone else just because i'm getting old, i want to be happy the way i was with him, since it's not going to be him. i just feel like i'm not good enough. i weigh 120lbs. and i'm becoming self conscious about my weight. i would never in my life think of becoming anorexic or bulimic, that's not for me and it's rather disgusting i think. but why do i keep getting hurt and feeling pain? it's as if it's never ending. my friends always say "it can only get better from here."..

it's done nothing but get worse. don't tell me i'm just a typical girl crying over a break up. i loved him, with my life. i'd give my life for that man till this day, and he doesn't even speak to me. every day has been hell. it's a new problem every day. i'm not happy. i'm severly upset all the time. i don't want counseling, i'm not crazy or psycho, but i've hit rock bottom. "the only way to go is up?" how do i do that, when i t feels like everyone around me thinks i'm nothing but a failure anymore. people say you need to be happy with yourself first before anything else can make you happy. how can i be happy for myself when all i feel is heartache and pain in my life every single day? i need advice..so i came to you guys. don't laugh at me please..i'm sure everyone has hit rock bottom in their lives. i just need to know how to cope with it. don't judge me, tease me, or tell me i have problems. just give me advice..i'd appreciate it. thanks

Answer 1

Been there, seen that, done it, got the tee shirt.
Hurts does'nt it. Took me three years to almost get over my main girl. Even now I still think of her.
Make the most of what you have now and take each day as it comes. It will get better but you can't rush the healing process.
You may not agree but counselling can help. As would a visit to your docs. An anti-depressant for a set term can really help you get through the tougher times.
I so feel for you and wish I could take your pain away.
Get some help babe.

Answer 2

I hated hearing this when I went through my breakup and I hated realizing it because of how much it lengthened my healing process but only one thing really makes it stop. Time.

Please hang in there and take pride and put new energy in your business. Throw yourself into work. I know it's hard but try to find your inspiration. You need it. You need a distraction for all the bad things you have going on.
I know you see none of the good that is happening around you but it is. It's just being overlooked. At some point, things will seem a little easier to deal with.

I've been in the despair you are feeling and that constant heavy feeling in my stomach and permanent lump in my throat never seemed to ever go away but it does.

::hugs:: Feel free to email me. =/

Answer 3

Realize that the human concept of Love has a flip side called hate. You would not know Love if you didn't know hate. Expectations of receiving love from another are intertwined with getting it's opposite also. You are all the Love you will ever need for this is how you were created. Expecting love when it can only be shared can lead to failed expectation which is called misery. Only if you made yourself could you ever have the right to think or speak of yourself in such a fashion.

Answer 4

Girl you are still young and you have lots of life and new men to look forward too!! I know it is hard but you have to try and move on and forget about him. You are better than that! Dont just sit around sulking about your lost love. Obviously you werent meant for eachother. You will find another guy eventually who you will absolutely fall head over heels in love with and you will look back at this time and say OMG what was I thinking?? lol you will, I promise. Maybe for now you should just concentrate on your business and making some fat cash!

Answer 5

Sweetie, you don't know pain till you have gotten married to the love of your life, divorced and fought a custody battle for your children. Think about all the people suffering much more than you, and you will feel silly about your situation.

You may feel alone like you will never find anyone again. Understandable. But, millions of people go through pain like you are, and millions get over it and find "another love of thier life". I always thought I'd never find another love, and then poof. There is was and he's even better than the last. I've seen all my friends go through it and then find another man as well. Everytime, you break up, you hurt, then learn about yourself, and then find someone better than the last. Your not crazy, but you are young. Cheer up. Secondly, you shouldn't depend on a man for your happiness. You should depend onf yourself. :)

Answer 6

It is ok to hurt. But you have to let go of him. There is a book called How to Fall out of Love by Dr Debora Philips. Get it and read it. Follow the steps and you will be better. Remember that you cannot go backwards in life. You have to go forward. You sound like your succesful. Learn to let go of him and then learn to love yourself. After that then you might consider getting into another relationship. My advice is accept that he is gone and learn to deal with it. The book will help.

Answer 7

Yes, it will end, and no, we didn't need your life story to answer the question. It sounds like you have been on one big pity party ever since the break up. Get over it already and move on, Don't let it ruin a possibly good relationship you are in now. Also, if you cannot live with your self and be happy, you will never be happy with anyone else.