why i rarely connect with people?

Question

sigh, i dont really have friends...but thats bcoz im busy..but i noticed i rarely have engaging conversations...never been in a relationship either...there would be mutual attraction but the conversation just goes flat, so it doesnt work out...is it me or is it just normal to connect with only few people...i feel lonely sometimes.

Answer 1

I too am like that but was fortunate to establish a lasting relationship a long time ago. My partner was and is a really easy person to converse with and most times she is ready and eager to converse at great length. She has a good memory, listens, is empathetic, interested and inquisitive and if she feels irritated, if she thinks it appropriate, disguises it perfectly for the sake of good manners. I on the other hand often get bored with a conversation or alternatively don't know where to take it further. I find it hard to put on a front and be truly sociable for any length of time at gatherings and parties. I guess some of us are blessed with the gift of the gab and some of us are not.

Answer 2

You have to make an effort if you want to connect with people! Being really busy might make it hard to take the time, but you have to decide what you want and what youre willing to do to get it. Mutual attaction (physical) is different than mutual interest, but mutual is still the key word here. You have to BE interesting to talk TO as well. First spend some time getting to know yourself and what makes you YOU (values, interests, goals, etc). Figure out what you "bring to the table", and also think about what qualities you'd respect/value in a partner. Make sure you try to cultivate those qualities in yourself as well and you should attract those of lke mind and spirit. That'll give you plenty to talk about! Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well really, nobody can tell you why this happens without meeting you, but one thing that may help is to start developing a healthy curiousity about what makes people tick.

It may be that you live in your own world so much, that you forget to be interested in other people, seeing only their effect on you, rather than your effect on them. Most people like talking to a good listener, one who is genuinely interested in what they have to say and why they do the things they do. See if you can move a bit more in that direction.
Again...this is just an idea...

Answer 4

Hi,

I have the same problem, but by a small chance, i got married to a unique impossible person (I'm psychotic, narcissistic, antisocial, etc...) but my wife is actually rarer in society than myself, she's [indescribe ably unique]

you dont connect for the same reasons i dont connect.

Should i list them? no its pointless, and will cost me a few seconds, which might make me go down a couple positions in the "sort by time" view of your responses.

We're analytical, we're "narcistic male"s and we have common traits which alienate us, but we arrogantly believe that our common unique traits are "superior"

Does being smarter--at the expense of social skills--better?

Yes, (but realy no) and we don't know.

I am like you, and I fully believe in myself and that IQ is better than Social magic etc...

I label it magic because its something we dont understand on a inherent level.

Use match.com and create 6 different personality profiles, and make sure they all contrast so you hit a broad domain (only we can interchange math terms with conversational terms--like the word "domain").

If you give me the best answer, I additionally ask you to review my 3 other questions about "global warming" "fried rice" and "medical school".

Answer 5

Welcome to the club! With time you get to understand that being alone has its advantages too - though don't let that deter you from reaching out to others. There isn't a question out there that says 'hey, will you be my ...?' because most folk will answer that as low as they can go - so don't give into such a coarse action.
Someday, someway someone will appear and you will connect in ways that you so miss.

Answer 6

I have the same problem sometimes. Maybe you should see a counselor about learning some social skills. Couldn't hurt. Good luck, hopefully you'll meet some people you can relate to and come out of your shell.

Answer 7

I hear ya, I'm in the exact same situation as you. Well in order to engage into a conversation you need to somewhat open yourself up and be somwhat at least knowledgeable at some things,..mainly listen and ask a person what's it's like to be him/her, and relate by things he/she likes to do. God Bless.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

if you connect with a few people...that is fine...In real life....you have to be careful who your friends are???...you know how people love to gossip behind your back.....and they do...BUT WHEN CONFRONTED...the person will say.."I did NOT say that"...maybe they did or didn't ....You just walk away!!!...go by your gut...

Answer 10

u have to have a confidence with yourself and be comfortable.