What's the most stupid thing a dumb yank has asked you...?

Question

What's the most stupid thing a dumb yank has asked you...?
Here are couple, I swear they are true:-

If Nelson Mandela is the president of South Africa, who is the president of the rest of Africa?

-Why do you have a funny accent? (to a friend)
-Funny? Well, I'm a Welshman
-Oh like, your from Welshland right?
(This guy was studying European History)

-What language do they speak in Holland?
-Dutch!
-No, that's what they speak in Germany!!!!
-Never mind!

On informing one of my parent's 25th wedding anniversary in Paris....
Do you mean Paris, Texas or Paris France?

What time does the Noon Day gun sound in Cape Town?
.........err......noon...perhaps?

Excuse, can you tell me the time please?
........we were standing in the shadow of Big Ben.

Do they have Hamburgers in Germany?
Yes, they invented them, strangely enough in Hamburg.

Any others.....?
LOL

Ha ha, good anecdotes!
Come on Americans, I did not say all Americans, I said dumb yanks, like Mr Bush "Nigeria is an important continent!".....have a sense of humour!!!

Answer 1

An American once asked me why I was clever when I had never been to college. (I was educated in a grammar school and went to college -but not Uni)
One once told my sister he would love to visit Scotland, England.

Answer 2

I would rate the Americans as some of the worst educated people in the world you only need to watch an American quiz show to see their knowledge of Geography and world history is none existent.When I visit the US I really liked the people but was not impressed with their intellect so we shouldn't really laugh at their ignorance.I remember a survey in the US where people were asked which was the oldest Plymouth in UK or New England,US over 80% aanswered USA.When I went on numerous occasions I told people I was a policeman the standard reply was 'Oh your a bobby!do you ride a bicycle?.do you have jurisdiction here?

Answer 3

O.K...I'm even an American and I totally can hear some Americans saying this ridiculous stuff!! Remember America is big...we have a bigger margin of error!
There are ignorant people everywhere! I love history,geography and travelling so even when I talk about someplace I've been some Americans have no idea what you are talking about! Most Americans are more intelligent than the ones sited!

Answer 4

A large Texan waiting to enter The Tower of London-
"This ain't a tower, we got buildings bigger than this in the States!"
Yeoman Warder-
"Indeed,sir. But this was the biggest building in England when the largest structure in the States was a wigwam"

Once asked by an american tourist "Is Euston named after Houston?"

And whilst standing outside Liverpool Street station "Hey, weren't The Beatles from around here?"

Also "How does it feel now your country is no longer behind the iron curtain?" (!!!)

And "When did you guys get cars? Weren't you all getting around in carriages with horses a couple of years ago?"
I told this one not to go near Whitechapel because we still hadn't caught Jack the Ripper yet either.

A few my Australian wife has been asked,include-
"Wow, your english is really good.Did you learn it at school?"

"Is Australia really like it is on The Simpsons?" (I kid you not) She convinced this one they all travelled about on kangaroos

"Do you have colleges in Australia?"

"What do you do on the 4th July?"
She replied "The same thing we do on Thanksgiving"

Most yanks aren't really that thick. It's just the majority have no concept of the outside world. Quite a few have never left their state before (their current President for example, created foreign policy without ever leaving Texas). Its forgivable if they're a pleasant crowd, but the arrogant ones need to be mocked till their ears bleed.

Answer 5

I think the dumbest things I've ever had said to me were from Americans who didn't even know the geography of their own country. I met a girl from LA who was surprised to find out that it actually rained in other parts of the country during the summer and yes. . . humidity does exist. I think it comes from a lack of applicable education and too much time spent worrying about the clothes they're going to wear etc. I was raised on a farm in a very small town in central Missouri and I was taught to be very practical. (You'd think that I'd be a bleeding heart conservative. . . I'm not! I'm a moderate and I don't like either side.) Thinking critically about and analyzing the world around me were traits that set in early. My friend who didn't know where Illinois and Indiana were knew very much about classical theory in Russian Literature and Philosophy: not easy subjects by any means. Thusly, I wouldn't call her stupid, just uninformed and disinterested. Her life revolved around California and heaven help you if you showed some type of difference. I never want to hear, "You are sooooo Midwest!!!" ever again.

Yes I know my geography and that Wales, Scotland, etc are not part of England, though I blame this mistake on geography and history teachers always referring to the UK colloquially and collectively as "England." If anything I'd base many dumb American questions and answers on a curiosity about the outside world. One which many were never really taught about. Some Americans abroad are sort of like a child going into a supermarket for the first time. He doesn't know much at all about it, but he uses whatever he already thinks he knows (right or wrong) to describe his surroundings. Thereby, many things he says will be wrong.

I'm doing my best to expand my horizons and attain a greater knowledge about the world, unfortunately, lack of funds has hampered my endeavors. (I'm a small farm kid, I didn't have money for clothes outside of Wal-Mart until I was 14.) I hope to go to Moscow next summer for a study abroad program. It'll be my first time out of the country. I feel kinda isolated to tell you the truth, there's so much plains around me that I've never even seen an ocean. I'm a junior History/Russian double major at a good, small university in the Midwest. I hope to continue into grad school work.

Maybe these thoughts will give you some insight into the American mind. And Americans. . . what I said is true, you know it is. If you're intelligent, well, good for you and I hope you have lots of children to compensate for the weaker end of the gene pool. If you're not as well informed or educated, I challenge you to read and to ask questions. Yes, some will be wrong, but you'll learn.

Answer 6

A tourist pointed at a red brick Victorian viaduct, and asked me, "Gee, is that Roman?"


Wandering along the street in full Viking kit, complete with spear and shield, I ran into a tour group, who were naturally rather curious. The conversation went something like this:
"What are you dressed as?"
"This is typical Dark Ages - that is, early mediaeval - kit. Saxon and Viking stuff. We've a show on at the castle today."
"Early mediaeval - that's about the time of the Founding Fathers, right?"
"No, it's about six, seven hundred years earlier."
"So, like Robin Hood and Henry the Eighth?"
"No, around two hundred and four hundred years earlier respectively."
"Did they even use iron back then?"

Thankfully, a helm designed to protect against sword and axe blows does a wonderful job of absorbing the force of banging your head on a lamppost.


I also got collared in Inverness once by a couple asking when the next bus to Lerwick was (Lerwick is in the Shetland Isles).

Answer 7

This isn't a question from an American but answers.
A TV crew from Australia went to New York and asked passers-by questions about 9/11. The show is called "The Chaser's War On Everything" on the ABC. See below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjtdxcNsRCM

Answer 8

Working in an English hotel I have many, some of my favourites...

Do... you... speak... AMMERRICAAN?, No I speak English!

None of these shops take Dollars!! Imagine that!

Your money is sooo funny! Yes I spend hours laughing over our monetry system!

Can you tell me how to get to Marble Arch from here? Yes you need to get the train to LONDON and make your way from there!

Isn't Liverpool next to London? Its only abou 400 miles away of course I walk there everyday!

Do you serve proper food like Hamburgers that is a beef patty in a bun? I'm sure we could figure something out!

Do these doors go outside? No thats just a big picture of a road taped to the other side of the door.

Answer 9

I am an American, but I agree many of us are aggressive in our ignorance. Quite a while ago I was standing in front of the United States Capitol, which is a pretty recognizable building, particularly to native Americans. A tourist (obviously a native of the Northeastern U.S.) came up to me and asked me whether that was the White House. I told him, "No, that's the U.S. Capitol; The White House is sixteen blocks that way - you can probably see it from here." but he assured me, "No, this is the White House. I knew that. I was just testing you." It may not be common knowledge everywhere, but it should be in the United States that the White House is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. and the Capitol is at the juncture of North, South, East and West Capitol Streets (hence their names). It may be acceptable to be ignorant, but it's bad form to be completely certain of one's mistakes.

Answer 10

Scotland? Is that, like, a town in England?

American tourist, heard whilst standing in front of Inverness Castle.

So is it true people still live in caves around here?
To my sister, whilst in university in Stirling and working to save money during the summer holidays.

What time does the one o'clock gun sound? Edinburgh. Local smart @rse response?
Dunno mate, dinna hae a watch.

When do the Northern Lights start?

There are, undoubtedly, hundreds.

However, my favourite, whilst visiting New York with the Royal Navy. I got talking to a local in a bar, and he asked where I was from. I said Scotland. His response?

Aw hey, do you know Jimmy Robertson? He lives there.

Lack of knowledge truly astounds me. I mean, Scotland's not big, but there's still five million people there.

Answer 11

I remember an American comedian performing on British T.V. said that lots of his fellow countrymen had a tendency to come to the U.K. and ask the way to Athens. I suppose the best strategy is to tell them to get on the next and nearest bus, go to the end of the line and then ask again.

When I was visiting Blarney Castle in de Republic of Ireland (where dey say tings like tree-tousand-and-tirty-three), a silly American child asked, "Mummy, is there an elevator here?"