Would you forgive your husband for drug use?

Question

My hubby is an ex drug user from many years ago. I got suspicious he started again because of the way he has been acting. He confessed that he had but he is stopping for good. I don't believe him and I don't believe the amount of time he claims. I know it has been longer. Would or could you forgive this? I am so against crap like that in your body and want no part of it!

Answer 1

The question is not just being able to forgive him because if you love him and want this marriage to work out, then I think you will. The problem now is if he's going to keep his promise? It's going to be very hard for you to trust now. Once they start again they can't stop. I was married for 10 years my husband had been an ex drug user from many years ago too and he started using again...it was a constant fight with him wasting every dollar on his drug use, missing all the time and the lies. until it lead to putting our children in danger. That's when i decided, we couldn't live like that. He went into rehab many times. His family and I tried to help him. He would do good for couples of weeks and he would go back to the drugs. This is a deceased that can kill you. They have to want to fight it and help themselves. All you can do is give them love and support, the rest is up to them to survive. We did everything we could for my husband until one day he past away. I'm a widow now and I wish he was here to see his children growing up.
Good luck to you.

Answer 2

When you love someone & they go through something like addiction it usually helps when they have a support system in their life. I'm sure it is hard for you to be supportive, because you are against the actions of your husband. If you can, you should try to support him. However if your husband has no intention of stopping his problem then there is only so much you can do, and it would become a very unfortunate situation for you to be in. I would try to get him professional help if he is willing to try it. If he doesn't seem like he wants to change, maybe a divorce is the right answer. But I would hang in there trying to help him until you honestly feel like you can't do it anymore. He's your husband - I'm sure you didn't know what the "good times and bad times" would entail exactly but this is one of those bad times. I hope he can overcome his problem & you two will be able to continue your lives together.

Answer 3

You have answered your own question by saying 'u want no part of it'.
It is very sad that he should start up again, he has confessed & said he is stopping for good, ask yourself how many more times to you want to hear this!? Personally i could not get involved with someone i know to be a user but they are such good liars how do you know? You have an advantage - I would say good riddance!

Answer 4

Not sure where you’re from but if you’re in the UK, he can’t force you out of the house anyway and I’m almost certain that any contact with the kids would have to be supervised at the very least. I’d be tempted to say if he’s not been around for so long, the Court Orders would go in your favour so you really needn’t worry. In a nutshell, no. Don’t forgive and forget. Your kids need him around like a hole in the head.

Answer 5

Read up on signs of drug abuse and watch him. If he is truly abusing drugs again then try to get him help. He will need you more than ever if he is abusing. Abusers like to know they have something worth getting clean for. The term Recovering Addict is a lifelong attachment to someone who once abused and they forever have to be aware of their surroundings. He may have fell into friendships with some bad elements and picked back up his habit. Drug abuse is a illness as well a choice. There is help out there so don't give up on him unless he gives up on his self. Bless You.

Answer 6

Continuously forgiving him mean you are co-dependent. I've got a new policy, any drug use is no good in my book and I have no time for you. Too many men, too many users, too many abusers. But 1 try doesn't hurt, you can say at least I tried. It just depends on how far you are willing to go.

Answer 7

I could forgive just about anything; BUT, whether or not I would stay in the relationship depends on him. Drug addiction is a very serious problem that need very serious attention.

DON'T "forgive and FORGET". Forgive and get help for both of you.

If he is serious, he will get the help you both need. Even if he is not using today, the addiction is there. He needs help to stay clean and sober. You both need help to repair the damage to your relationship.

If he does not want to get help, you will know he is not willing to do what ever is nessecary to stay clean and heal your relationship.

Answer 8

For me, no. I have kids to think about and I would never put them in any situation that was dangerous, and drugs are dangerous.
You can support him and make sure he receives the help he needs, but I'd certainly move out or get him in rehab fast before it affects your life legally. Or even worse, he does something to you in a drug induced state.

Answer 9

What kind of drugs?
But, he's your husband, not a boyfriend.
Hang in there as long as you can, protect yourself and the kids and the money during this time. Be a good wife, but don't be a fool

Answer 10

Ask him if he will take the test to prove his innocents after a while. Then go to Walmart and pick up the test kit. (20-30 dollars). You want to pick up two of them so that you can test at even a later date. Then go from there as far as the trust issue. If he refuses to take the second test, you can rest assured that he's still using.