How to get him in bed...?

Question

I've been married 6 years tomorrow. My husband is 38, I am 25. I consider myself to be attractive (i guess,) I'm about 5'7, big green eyes, red hair, and about a size 8...i know i know, 8 is the new 14 and i am obese by modern standards...whatever.
The point is, we are insanely mismatched when it comes to sex. We are great in bed...wild actually...but the problem is getting him there.
if i could i would be having sex every second of every day but he is a once a week...sometimes even once every two weeks guy, and its driving me bonkers!
I've tried walking around in my lingerie, i've tried walking around naked, i've tried subtle, i've tried obvious, i've even tried "get the hell up and F**K me!!!" but nothing works!
its on his time or not at all. I've even thought about just turning him down for a while so I can shift the power, so to speak, in my favour...but I cant, by the time he is in the mood I am so insanely craving it that I cant.
So, Help! I am running out of ideas!

after reading some answers, i want to add some details. We do have a daughter, she is five. He does not work...I do. He is a stay at home dad. He is most certainly not gay. I am dominating, but he loves it. (not in that whole leather and whips way, in case that is what your thinking) p.s. we are kinky as hell, we are great in bed, I just cant freaking get him there! lol.

p.s. for that one guy that answered, i was poking fun at stick thin models, not saying that i was fat...i only weigh 132 for gods sake!

lippy made a good point. maybe it is because he knows i am always "available" so he does everything on his own time.

Answer 1

I know exactly what you mean! I'm in the same boat! The only thing I've found that works is turning him down, even threatening that he's not going to get any action for a month. I've done this and all of a sudden he's chasing me around the house and he won't take no for an answer! I think it's because he knows I'm always ready, so he knows that whenever he wants it he can have it. When that's threatened then all of a sudden he wants it and I make him work for it. I know it's not easy, but do it!

Answer 2

Well unfortunately dating a older man has it's disadvantages. He might not be as sexual as you are. I know when you two first met the sex was great right? I know, see I'm the same way. I don't want it very often and it kills my husband. I think I have alot on my mind, and I bet your man does too. Stress causes so much tension, and I'm sure you are sexy as hell, and its not you trust me. Sometimes people are just down right tired. You need to look around you and try to find out what is wrong with your picture. Maybe he's tired, stressed, or maybe he just plain lazy because sex is work honey and some men refuse to do any. Get him out of the shower, at that moment he's vulnerable and clean. Yummy! Do all the work so he can't blame it on that, and have fun with yourself if you have to. A girl needs to have a party friend if you know what I mean.

Answer 3

Unfortunately different people have different kinds of sex drives. I am assuming though that since you have been married to your husband for 6 years that there is alot of other reasons why you married him. I cannot imagine how difficult it is that he only wants to have sex once a week and other times once every 2 weeks. This certainly must be difficult for you since your sex drive is far more greater. Have you ever just truly sat down with your husband and explained to him how you feel? Maybe there are things he hasn't told you yet that is getting in the way of your relationship. It sounds like you are a very dominating partner in this relationship and he may feel that when given the chance to try things that you may not be happy with him. These intimidating feelings may apply to more then just your sex life. I am not saying it isn't perfectly normal to want to have sex because that is a great thing and it is better the more you can have it. I just think that maybe there is other things that are falling into the equation here and worth considering. When you sit down with your husband it might be a great idea to decide to have sex on the same day of the week for every week. I know this may seem odd but at the same time you will then be having it once a week rather then skipping. Sometimes the whole idea let's have sex thing may be difficult for some people but like going to the gym they have to plan it to accomplish it. Sure it is only once a week and you would rather have it more but at the same time this will be guaranteed sex. That way you don't feel bad because your not getting it and he won't feel bad because he is not giving it. It will then be on no ones shoulders to be the one who decides to make the move. This is just a suggestion. I know that you certainly do love your husband because you are trying to please him. Remind him how special he is in your life for your 6 year anniversary and let him know how happy you are to be with him. Happy 6th Anniversary!!!

Answer 4

It sounds like maybe the fact that he is older then you may have an effect on his sexual drive. However with that said sit down and talk with him and let him know that your younger and want sex more then he does but you need him to make more of an effort. It is not a good to not have a happy sex life so if that does not work then I suggest you try seeking therapy to discuss this. If regular therapy does not work then you might need a sex therapist. Listed below is a directory of legitimate therapists that specialize in this type of thing. Good luck!

Answer 5

Some men have a libido that leaves once they turn 30. My husband went through it. He only would do it every 2 wks if not longer and I hated it. I wanted more then he was putting out. I also wanted some everyday. He started taking something for it. It got alittle better. Just comes with time. Ask him to seek help in that area. Talk to him about it.

Answer 6

You should talk to him about it. When you guys are out driving around on the weekend, stop into a couples play store, and when he asks 'what the hell are we doing here" then you can say that you thought it would be a good idea to look around to try something fun or kinky, then you can tell him how much he turns you on and you need his love.

Answer 7

Hearing the word 'no' just makes you rise to the challenge -- you're going to find a way to get a 'yes' no matter what! It'll take some ingenuity and persistence on your part, but I say you're on the right path. However it could be something else , "soy" is high in estrogen (female hormone) and it's in everything you BUY! , REED the labels , stop feeding him it , perhaps he'll get some more testosterone , and F**K the H out of you ... (smile!)




Whey protein is the best source of protein

Answer 8

I wish I had someone with your needs.

I've found as I get older, I get less interested.

When I'm not in the mood there's one thing that always works unless I'm sick. How do I put it? The little soldier loves the cave with the tongue in it. A guy can say whatever. That's the secret. It's very hard to turn away from that.

Answer 9

Has he seen his doctor recently, or have you two talked to a doc about this? Many things can affect his libido such as high blood pressure, low blood pressure, diabetes, etc. A low testosterone level can also cause prob with libido. All of these conditions can be brought under control very easily.

Answer 10

You're too funny. There's only about a billion guys who would love to help you. And you think he's bad now, wait 10 years. Have you asked him if you can have a sex only lover on the side? A married guy would be great, almost all of them have the same problem as you with their cold wives..