I DONT LIKE MYSELF VERY MUCH, IM A FAILURE, AND RELY ON MY FAMILT TO MAKE A LIVING WHlCH IS PRETY POOR,YOU?

Question

by the way ive got myself a bit drunk {1st time ive been drunk since my teens,im not a heavy drinker, not that it matters a f@ ck to 4get how i feel about myself, ive a wondeful wife n kids who deserve better than me,i hate myself what about you are u happy? be honest as i dont care any more i can take the truth as i know what and i am, im also too much of a coward to end my life anyway i wiouldnt want to hurt my wife and kids as they deserve so much more than what i can offer, dunno why im doing this just wondering if im alone in this feeling{ by the way i love them so muckh im drinking without their knowledge today as im feeling very low and down at the moment, hope im making sense as ive been drinking today to drown how how im feeling and hide it from my wife n kids} dunno what im asking now just say what u want, hope youre happier than me anyway , i dony usually drink hope is is a one off. still a loser though, always will be,i havent even got a car and im in my mid 30.s

Answer 1

have a nice sleep, wake up and we'll all pretend this didn't happen...

Answer 2

Do you really care if anyone on here is happy or not? If you do, I am pleased to tell you I am happy on occasion, content mainly and unhappy sometimes - like most people. You, on the other hand, are feeling rather pointless and useless at the moment which has a great deal to do with keeping secrets and trying to cope on your own with what seems like depression. You do need to speak to your wife whether you like it or not. You are doing her a great dis-service if you keep this to yourself. She is working very hard to keep the family together and you are not contributing to the well being of your family right now - I am not talking financially either - I mean emotionally. There are lots of ways to make yourself useful while you wait for a job. First of all, you need to review those skills and look at what you can offer an employer. Make sure you visit the job centre and agencies regularly (at least once a week). Its a question of luck and being at the right place at the right time. Secondly, whilst the family are out doing what they do, you could be occupying yourself by a daily routine of housework and keeping the place decent for when the family return (its an under-rated past-time but wholly satisfying and very worthwhile). Finally, today is the last day you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself. You tell your wife that you have been down, you are making tomorrow the first day of a new life, and you intend, one way or another, to be a constructive, meaningful part of your family's life. You might take a trip to the GP and get some help - but if you are like most men, you would rather not! Tomorrow, you brush yourself down, give yourself a firm talking to and start planning your new life. You are only a failure if you don't keep trying. You are at the moment, just like everyone else, scrabbling around trying to make the best of what we have been given and sometimes making a hash of it! Success is not just about money and things, its more about what you do with your life, who you surround yourself with and how you cope when the chips are down. So far, you are quite successful - you have a fabulous family and a lovely wife - its a good start. You have a family who want to support you so you have been successful in generating love. You have courage as you came on here and told the world how you feel. You are articulate and intelligent by the sounds of it - and have got a sense of humour tucked in there somewhere. You don't drink a lot and you are probably kindly (thats what I read into your text anyway!). Actually you sound like a very decent sort of person. And remember what the Sufi say 'this, too, will pass'.

Answer 3

don't be so sad. you have a wife and kids. that means you are blessed. your life might seem really bad at the moment but if u just get through this hard time u will look back and be glad that u did. life isn't easy. your wife and kids love you. do u have a job? if u do there is another thing that u can be proud about. if not try and get one. just whatever u do DON'T give up. i'm sorry that i can't do any more to help. but i do know one thing... the things that the other people said are a bunch of bull. they are stupid. and if all they want to do is to hurt someone even more than they already are, then they need to get a life. because the one they have now is pretty screwed up. so try and get your life back together and appreciate what u do have.

Answer 4

Im awesome mate and im going to give you some tougth advice because im not their to kick your *** for being like this so i will give you the reality . You say you havent got a car ok now ask your self these questions .

Have i done absolutly everything i could of possibly done to get a car ?

Are you REALLY making an effort in life to just do the best you can ?

I bet not . Logicaly you cant complain your just depressed and its making you think this way or your choosing to act like a victim and complain and be doom and gloom if thats bthe case then its your choice and only you can fix it.

Its obvious to me that you have negative belifes , and you have an negative self talk .

Here are some facts .

1 . Your choosing to rely codependantly on your family .
2 . The choices you have made have got you to were you are .
3. Its up to You to change .


Im 22 and ive never even being on a date , i hardly have no freinds , i used to hate myself , i used to be cronicly depressed on high dose of medication ( 2 year ago ) , got bullied my entire life , being threatened at knifepoint etc

Ive being were you are now and i chose with my own determination to CHANGE are you going to tell me you cant do the same , bullcrap .... i wake up every day feeling great ok i still cant get girls and have hardly any freinds but i go througth my day and i rub my positive energy onto people and i ispire people to do their best .

So stop complaining and fix yourself .

Answer 5

You sound like you are depressed. You need to go get help. If you don't have insurance, go anyway. I'm sure your wife and kids want you well and happy. You need to get your life back on track and be proud of yourself again. Look for a better job, buy a good used car, pay attention to your wife and kids, clean out a room today. It will give you purpose today. Stop drinking and get something done. Show the kids what a real Dad is like. Make them proud of you.

Answer 6

Does your wife and your kids love you?

If they do, then your not a failure. If your wife supports you, so what. Take the time to take care and enjoy your kids. Not having a car is not a prerequisite for happiness.

Life isn't about being happy anyway. I'm not happy most of the time, but I have peace.

If you have a wife and kids who love you, you are by no means a loser.

Stop Drinking and wake the hell up.

Answer 7

Thank god you havent got a car!! Snap out of it stop feeling sorry for yourself and pull yourself together. Nothing in life is that bad! You can feel sorry for yourself and keep living in the past or you can be strong and lay the past to rest and move forwards. You have a loving family haven't you!? Drink will not make the past go away and blocking the past doesn't work. No matter how painful it may be to deal with, you have to, in order to move on. Be strong! You can do it! Start by learning to love yourself, flaws and all. The rest will follow!!! Good luck

Answer 8

If you stop drinking you'll be able to afford a car. think about how much money you spend on drinking. You seem like a real good guy, try AA, actually its best for you right now is counciling try a christian coulciling they are more apt to help you better. Tell your wife you have been drinking she may help you get the help you need do this immediatly before you destroy your absolutly wonderful wife and kids they do deserve you your there father and husband, she would of gotten rid of you long ago if she didn't like you. GO GET SOME HELP

Answer 9

hey dont be so hard on yourself , everybody at sometime in their lifes hits rock bottom its life, you should show this to your wife so she knows how unhappy you are then maybe you can sort things out together , she might not realize how unhappy you have been , you say you havent got a car and your in your 30s it doesnt matter you havent , material things dont mean anything really , live for your kids they will love you very much , it sounds like you are suffering from depression you should go to your doctors and tell them how you feel , theres nothing to be shamed of to admit you are feeling so low , tell your family so they can help you , things will get better for you try to be strong and take one day at a time things will get better for you , all the very best of luck , xx

Answer 10

Pick yourself up and start again you are lucky to be alive and healthy i hope and with a wife and kids you are blessed and leave the drink alone there is no answer there only more depression come on friend You can do it, let me know when you have good luck

Answer 11

It sounds pretty sad what you are going through. The thing is that you didn't explain to me what is really going on in your life. You keep saying you are a loser but usually people think that way because there are multiple things going wrong in their lives. I think that you are missing one point and it is all that love you have for your family. Losers don't have that kind of a strong feeling in their hearts (positive). So I think that you have a chance. I suggest to seek help since drinking helps momentarily but not entirely. Go ahead and seek help, I think that you and your family deserve it.