Is being nice all the time a bad thing?

Question

GRRR!!! I am too nice. I know it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it definitely has it's downs. Strange how being nice to other people can hurt yourself. Well, I'd like to know your opinion on this.
Please :O)

Answer 1

Can you lend me £50.00 and sleep with me?

Answer 2

I'm too nice too and all my friends are always telling me to be mean sometimes but I feel bad if I get one little person mad. It is a good thing but people definitly take advantage of you. I have my own group of friends, but everytime a new kid comes, they end up being friends with me for at least a month. And it's not even like I go over and say hi or welcome them cuz I'm sorta shy in that way. Even though I have to fix this myself, I think you should just be nice like 3/4 of the time but don't TRY to be mean or anything, just don't act like you're everyone's servant or some puppy that does everything they want. And the more you group yourself in that "always nice" category, the more goody-good and too nice you are. just don't be afraid to say no.

Answer 3

You can be courteous, polite and respectful at all times... no problem.

However, when being "nice" means you are a pushover, that is not good.
When being "nice" means that you have trouble maintaining your boundaries and getting roped into doing stuff you don't want anything to do, that is a problem.

There are a lot of adult mooches out there... people who want to waste your time and take advantage of your kind nature... and they are expert in "guilting" you into and out of everything they want.
What you need to do is step back and ask yourself "what does this person bring to the table?" Do they at least entertain you? Make you laugh? Provide insight? Or are they just wasting your time and hospitality?
The single most empowering thing you can learn is how to say "NO"... when NO doesn't work, learn to tell them to "F*CK OFF". There is a fine art to telling people where to get off.

I recently ran into an acquaintance who walked out on her husband and two sons 2 years ago, leaving them with the house. All 3 plus a 21-year old daughter living in another state with her boyfriend shake her down for money every single month. She is STILL supporting the deadbeat ex... he is living like a king and she is working 2 jobs! All but the ex-husband are working, and one of the boys is working at the same store she works at.
She was on the verge of tears the whole time she was telling me about this. I told her to do them all a favor by cutting them off, and forcing them all to grow up. I sent her to the Houston Area Women's Center for abuse counseling and sliding-scale legal assistance.

Answer 4

yes you are right , others just take advantage and are not respectful nor grateful for what we do for them but never the less stay too nice because it will be rewarded one way or another....
At times I feel like being bad by revenge then when I could do it I just can't and I do get hurt again and again but I know deep down that I will be rewarded and when I do good deeds I do feel happy that another person has been helped in a certain way so that already is one reward for my good actions and being nice ...
have a great day.....

Answer 5

Anything that you do all the time is bad. My rule of thumb is this, you should be nice to people who are nice to you, but don't be nice to people who are not nice to you because they are going to take advantage of you. You only has so much time per day don't waste your time with unfriendly people, use your time wisely and be nice to people who are nice to you or who you think will have something that you want in return. Life is a two way street, you have to give and take, don't just give. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Not really. I guess to much of anything could be a bad thing but even nice people can get mean from time to time. I guess being nice all the time like Flanders from the Simpson's can be a bad thing.

Answer 7

If being "nice" in a situation where you wished you had been more assertive is the issue, then perhaps look for some books on becoming more assertive in life and learning to set limits with others. This does not mean you are not "nice", it just means you are nicer to yourself when you want to be....and that's really ok.

Answer 8

Being nice all the time is not natural - nor is it healthy. It's unrealistic to think that's your role in life is to always be nice regardless of how you're treated. This is a set up! People will treat you as badly as you allow and if you don't start being more assertive, your anger will begin to eat you alive. Being nice to others does not guarantee they'll be nice in return.
Stop it! People need to earn your respect - they don't get it just because they're alive and taking in nourishment. Set your standards of acceptability and hold others accountable - otherwise, YOU are the problem - not them.

Answer 9

you just have to be yourself. being nice to others shows that love is inside you and you want others to feel good too. just be careful, you can be nice and be respected at the same time. when you get your respect ,whoever thinks you are not nice is because they just want to take advantage of your kindness. dont let others make you feel bad and BE YOURSELF.the world needs a lot of people that cares , it will be a great place to live.

Answer 10

Being nice is a wonderful thing, and too many people have forgotten how to be nice. The only thing you have to learn is do not let people take advantage of you. And yes its OK to say no.

Answer 11

I used to be nice all the time, and was "Miss Good Deed Doer" a lot too. It did make against me, yes. Now, I am rid of all the folks that I was so good to, mainly because they sh-t on me. I'm very careful not to get involved anymore. I'm still nice, but not overboard nice, & only a good-deed-doer occasionally.