why do you think its hard to find the right person today, then it was 20-25 years ago?

Question

David: yes, and No...yes because we have more choices with internet, and technology, and NO because we become more individuals we just think and live insode our own boxes.

Answer 1

people are smarter and have more options

Answer 2

For one thing, standards are, if not higher, at least different. 20 years ago people looked for partners that would make a good contribution to raising a family more than anything else. Now, people tend to discount family and look for those who will provide them with the highest income and ability to acquire possessions. I'm not saying that everybody discounts family, but I think it plays into the decision a lot less than it used to.

Physical appearance is a lot more important now, as well. We are inundated every day with cultural icons of the desirable face and figure, and a lot of people look for this first over personality and intelligence. And since only a small portion of the population has this ideal face and figure, the choices are narrowed for those who choose this selection point.

I believe the decline in organized religion has something to do with it as well. A quarter of a century ago, most people were aculturated to the nuclear family as the be all and end all. Now, a lot of people have no concept of commitment. If you are dealing with a large number of people who only want pleasure for today, it's going to be harder to find Mr or Ms Right.

But I think the biggest factor is that so many people today are not willing to compromise. They want the perfect person, and even if the person fills 90% of the requirements, that's not good enough. They're also not willing to compromise their practices to conform to another person's 100% requirements.

Needless to say, none of this applies 100^ across the board, but I think it applies to a whole lot of people.

Answer 3

What makes you think it used to be easier? It's always difficult to find the right person. Maybe people used to stay married before rather than get divorced because they couldn't see a way out but that doesn't mean it was true love. People are less willing to stick it out nowadays. When the going gets tough, they get going. It's a different culture too. A lot of people live together first. Ironically those who do live together first have a greater chance of getting divorced statistically. You would think it'd be the opposite. It's like a test drive. If they can get along as common law then why is it a problem once they head to the altar. The reason is that people who live together often don't believe in marriage. They don't want to be trapped, they fear commitment. So once they tie the knot they may feel stifled and want out. In the old days, people took it more seriously perhaps and made the effort. In my mother's day most women didn't go out to work and often felt dependent on their hubbies. Unable to leave. They didn't think divorce was an option. That didn't mean they were happy, just imprisoned. In my mom's day people got married at 18 yrs. You don't even know who you are yet as a teen so how could you know who you want to spend your life with?!

I think the divorce rate is too high because people settle. They don't wait for the right person. They get married for the wrong reasons (economical, loneliness, pregnancy etc) and then realize they're waking up each morning next to a stranger, maybe someone they don't even like...

If I ever marry (I've avoided it this long ha ha even spent 9 years with someone and couldn't marry him) it will be forever. If I wasn't sure then I wouldn't do it. If you make a commitment you should honour it. It says "til death do us part" not "til I get sick of you." Too many people rush in with the idea if it doesn't work, there's an escape hatch. My feeling is that you shouldn't enter a marriage with that outlook. If you are not 100% sure that you adore this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them and grow old with them then for God's sake don't marry them!!

As far as meeting the right person yes it can be tough but you know when you find them. It feels right. You belong together. You fit like puzzle pieces. A good start is to be happy with yourself. When you love yourself then you're in the right frame of mind to attract the right person. (Law of attraction...) Go out there & get involved in things that interest you then you may meet someone with the same interests. The best way to meet someone is by not trying too hard. Don't be looking, just be out there having fun minding your own business & then Miss or Mister Right may just show up...

Answer 4

People today are more judgmental and picky. Success at work is more important than success in life for a lot of Americans. 25 years ago a jobs were better and considered something that was a part of your life, but not your whole life. Now it's like a competition of who can be better and how much one person can do. When you spend 60+ hours a week working who has time/wants to work on a relationship? Not to mention, personal standards have soared too. 25 years ago looks and careers were less important. Now it's about what you wear, how you look, how smart you are, etc. Plus, there are less people willing to compromise and more willing to ditch their spouse and look for someone who suits them better.

Answer 5

20-25 years ago, not everyone was yet into 'disposable marriages'. Some people still went by 'till death do us part', and stuck it out--some got marriage counseling to help.

20-25 years ago some people still held a church (or even a justice of the peace) wedding as binding and sacred.

20-25 years ago, not everyone was so stressed from working unbelievable hours, with little time for lunch, vacations, (their spouse/family especially), etc. Also, many more companies provided free health insurance, etc.

20-25 years ago, not everyone wanted to be a 'player'--some wanted monogamous relationships.

20-25 years ago many people did not have to work so long that the temptation and opportunity to cheat within the office was great.

Answer 6

It was actually harder 25 years ago to meet a man or woman with like interests. You have to do the work yourself these days and fill out questionaires and such, but you can do it and its socially acceptable. 25 years ago women were EXPECTED to go into a career for a few years, then give it up when they met the right man. The only problem was matchmaking had died out and there were no dancehalls and signing up with a dating service was something a good girl didn't do. The only way you could meet someone was (1) in a bar, (2) through your job or (3) through your church. You couldn't even count on your brothers to bring home likely guys.

Today it is easier with on-line dating services, but I really wish we could go back to pre-WWII when there were dance halls and soda fountains and places where people could meet without getting drunk.

Answer 7

Overload of technology really fast. Things were allot simpler 25 years ago. I still haven't found that person! Thought I did long ago. Just as hard. People are still basically the same.

Answer 8

People today are more selfish than people in the past, and good relationships require self sacrifice.

Once, in a history class, the teacher asked how many people would be willing to die for their country. I was the only person who raised his hand, and the teacher told me that I was wrong to do so.

Answer 9

Who says it is? My personal opinion is that we're more picky. There are a lot more people around now than 20 years ago. Compound that with the exponential increase in (less than positive?) outside influences like television, movies, the internet, etc... and what d you get? Diversity.

Answer 10

It has a lot to do with the rate of divorce and all the kids in mix
at least that's what I think.

Every body is all messed up.

Answer 11

I dont think that - with the internet its far easier to meet people in any part of the world than it would be possible without it.