My husband will get frustrated in coversations that we have, just two days ago he got frustrated and was saying "F" this and that. And he will say F*** You. When i ask him to stop talking to me like this he says no. Then like two days later he's all over me telling me he loves me wanting to make love.
Now I want to know, why doesn't he care when i ask him to stop cursing at me? AND how can he come to me fliritng wanting sex. I'm extreemly confused, one mintue i'm being flirted with and he tells me he loves me and the next is saying **** you and telling me to shut up. Please help me to understand what is going on.
2007-07-29 08:06:06 · 10 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DOES THIS MAN LOVE ME OR NOT?
2007-07-29 08:07:30 · update #1
This man has some SERIOUS anger issues. He yells at you and curses at you because he has not learned how to have a constructive disagreement, and he's been taught that volume and crude language make the victor.
When he's not angry, he expects you to forget past offenses and act like the happy loving wife that you would be had he not lost his temper and called you all sorts of filthy names.
Suggest that you two go to counseling. Tell him his anger scares you and that you can't tolerate it any more. Tell him that his behavior is destroying the trust you have in the relationship and you want to fix the damage before it gets any worse.
2007-07-29 08:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow, answers has gotten pretty dumb. So many people here are quick to point fingers. Yet we have no idea why this guy is getting upset. It could be as simple as the guy has a bad personality, but it could be a lot more complicated than that.
I can say from experience that I am a task oriented guy and when I get home from work and perceive that my wife hasn't been doing jack all day.....it can get upsetting. Especially if there is a lot of stuff to be done. When we were first married with a child, she didn't realize what a privilege it was to be a stay at home mom. She abused that privilege it and got nothing done around the house.
We got in heated arguements because I felt if she was staying home she should be doing something. I went as far as to disconnect the cable TV to eliminate her perpetual couch-sitting marathons. She felt like she didn't have time to get anything done....I felt like she needed time management.
You see, we had opposing views. Her mom and girlfriends probably heard about how much of a jerk I was being. My friends and family heard about how lazy she was being.
Looking back at it 10 years later she realizes she was being lazy, but she wouldn't hear it back then. When I brought it up, the outcome was usually an argument.
At the end of the day we still got intimate on days when we weren't getting on each others nerves...we both have needs.
My point is there are two sides to this story. The two (BOTH) of you have communication problems that need to be resolved. Nobody here can tell you if your husband loves you.
For what it's worth, my wife holds a grudge for a long time when I call her on the carpet...however when the shoe is on the other foot she expects to be forgiven immediately (even if her apology isn't genuine).
I actually do forgive her immidiately when she apologizes, because I love her and see the argument for what it is. I can't understand why she takes them personally....I am guessing it is because of the ovaries.
My point is, you both need to figure each other out. If not on your own, get a coach/counselor. OR, do what 1/2 of americans do and just call it quits.
IF the two of you get better at communicating, you might be able to find a fix for your problems
2007-07-29 16:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by DH1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not a man but I would love to comment on this if you don't mind...
First, how old is this guy? If he is young; that sounds typical.
Second, Does he drink or do drugs? Might he possibly be bi-polar?
I just know, for a fact, that in two days a guy gets full and they want to do it. I am married and it is like clock-work, every two days he gets lovey-dovey. But, then after we do it he just tells me to cook for him and he never compliments me or says he loves me,but in two days he does. I think he shouldn't curse you because when you get married you become of ONE FLESH! Just tell him, "why do you hate yourself so much?". He will say I don't. You can say,"Apparently you do because I am apart of you and when you curse me you curse yourself."
2007-07-29 15:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by dr. perky (>^_^)><3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loving you and being in love with you are two different things. It sounds to me like he has some underlying issues that need to be addressed. No husband should ever speak to their wife like that and if he thinks it's okay to speak to you that way, then he needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
He is obvioulsy flirting with you and wanting sex because he knows he made you mad and if you have sex with him, then that means you forgive him.
You need to cut him off completely and tell him the next time he talks to you like that will be the last time he will talk to you and then stick to it. You don't deserve that kind of treatment!
2007-07-29 15:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Generally men are so quick tempered when they are directly accused of a wrong doing. I think your approach to issues relating to your marriage should be discussed in a way whereby fingers are not pointed directly to the man. Be slow to speak but quick to listen when it comes to disagreements and arguments in marriage. Do not use provocative words at your man. If he shouts at you keep your cool and do not retaliate. Men usually get irritated when their wives refuse to have sex with them. May be your husband is the type of man who finds so much interest in sex so any refusal gets him mad. Give in to him anytime he approaches you for sex and he will become a gentle giant.
2007-07-29 15:56:21 · answer #5 · answered by KD53 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading everyone's response, I just have one more thought. Could there be any mental health issues? It all comes down to mutual respect. Try some couples counseling. The best to you...
2007-07-29 15:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt mean he doesnt love you cuz he talk to you like that but it doesnt mean he does it just that men know how to let things go only you women hold onto things forever so to him when he said f you it was over 5 minutes later but to you its still on thats the main thing wrong with women yall cant let s**t go i'm not saying what he did is right but you asked for understanding and i have told a lot of women f you cuz thats just the way i felt at the time it didnt mean i didnt like them but they held onto it just like you are let go
2007-07-29 15:31:50 · answer #7 · answered by anthentherwasi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to have sex is one thing,and to love you is a different story.If he love you indeed,he never will curse you.Talk to him,telling him that: he need to be kind with you,if he really love you indeed.Good question,and good luck.
2007-07-29 15:18:00 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wer u actually talking to him or like on msn or somethin...if so then someone might be trying to break u guys up or he was just taking drugs or something o.o
2007-07-29 15:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
NO* not if he is verbally abusing you*...
2007-07-29 20:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋