realtionship issue i need help with asap?

Question

my fiance drinks only on a rare occansional and about to be a major *** and lie to my mom trying tell me i dont know what i am talking about which is not true i love him and can't lose him as my fianice but i need help he doesnt lie to me but how can i tell him to be honest with my mom he doesn't like and he lies to her i hate this i dont want to leave him i want to try to get him counslering but he thinks their quaks and i think the real issue is that my mom and him think a lot alike i never told her and he never told her should how would she of found out he was a reocverying aclholic and maybe i made a mistake of let him drinks but he only does once a month and only a beer is that wrong it isnt out of control. but i am afriad my family is about to kick him out and do i go with him or stay home i really need advice

my family does love him is all for me to marry him its just my mom and him have a hard time talking to each other

Answer 1

Most of your problems will be solved if you and he move out of your parent's house and get an apartment or a trailor home even if a little further out of town to save money. Your family has very high expectations of you and for you. I couldn't meet those expectation, neither can he, nor can you, nor anyone you could ever bring home. They are impossible high expectations.

Answer 2

Dealing with alcohol can be somewhat touchy... dealing with in-laws can also be touchy...

Not many people are willing to admit they have a problem with alcohol, those people would especially have a problem with going to counseling. If your fiance only drinks a beer a month that shouldn't be a problem unless it affects his health. Keep in mind that some people don't like restrictions, so if you tell him not to drink he may rebel. May you could try telling why it makes you uneasy when he drinks: like does he act/behave a certain way that hurts you? If he cares about you he will take it into consideration to calm down with the drinking.

It kind of sounds like there's inner problems between your fiance and mom. Just the fact that they don't like each other is weird. Are there grudges? Where your parents against you getting engaged with your fiance? Did your parents not approve and that's why your fiance doesn't like them because he feels they don't even know him to judge him?

If your family kicks your fiance out, before you decide whether to go or stay, think about who was right behind the action. Did your parents have a reason to kick him out? If not than their actions are unjust and you should support your fiance by staying with him. If your fiance did something wrong and fought against your decisions and desires than stay where you are safe: at home.

I suggest you take a deeper look into the problem between your parents and fiance. There something more than meets the eye and I think the sooner you discover those deeper concerns you can figure out how to deal with them. Best of wishes!

Answer 3

I believe you should seriously reconsider your relationship with this person*.. You are in for a rough ride, if you don't*...