My fiance and I will be married in 3 months and have been together for about 9 years. Recently I feel that we have both been experiencing some cold feet now that things are soo close. There is one issue that we keep circling back to.
I really enjoy spending time with family and friends and he hates to. He tells me that he gets severe anxiety and does not feel comfortable. We don't need to be together 24/7 but it would be nice for him to join me at times. He says that he will sometimes, but that we don't need to be with them so often. Do you think this will ever work out. Are my expectations unreasonable? I just wonder if we can both be happy and have compromise that satisfies us both. We love eachother very much or we wouldn't still be here after this long :)
2007-07-29 05:15:21 · 7 answers · asked by Keely L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it has worked for 9 years then you shouldnt have to ask this question....Just dont force him to do anything that he doesnt want to do because you wouldnt want him to ever make you feel uncomfortable....Good Luck and congrats on the marriage!
2007-07-29 05:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two are individuals. You will not always like the same things, the same people, etc. That's probably part of what made you fall in love with him to begin with.
You two are not always going to see eye to eye on everything, but I think you are making a big deal out of a really stupid issue.
There are a lot of people that have anxiety issues and don't like crowds of people....it's normal. Although you enjoy spending time with family and friends and he doesn't, does not mean that your marriage will not succeed. What you need to remember is that you need to set aside time for your marriage as well.
I am sure that if it were a special occasion, your fiance would attempt to go, but if it's just a backyard BBQ and he doesn't want to go along, he should have that choice.
Your marriage will be fine. If this is the worst issue you two have, you will have a long and fruitful marriage!
Relax and stop worrying over the small stuff....remember...it's all small stuff!! Life is too short too worry over things like this.
2007-07-29 12:24:00 · answer #2 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 years is a long time to be dating, so I question the love that you have for each other. There must be some reason that the two of you didn't get married before now. And, the fact that you are still having issues is not a good sign at all.
2007-07-29 15:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experiencing "cold feet" is very normal for you right now. You two are experiencing anxiety preparing for your special day. Does he experience anxiety in all social settings or just with your family and friends? Is this a new problem for him. I am sure he is feeling overwhelmed right now with the wedding plans.Can the two of you go out for an intimate dinner and he is ok? I know that my family are more outgoing than my husbands and it took him time to get used to that. He did eventually and really enjoys the fun we have with them. If he is willing to hang out with your family and friends every now and then, I think it is going to be ok.
2007-07-29 13:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by susie2962 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he isn't telling you you can't be around your family I think that things will be fine. Accept the fact that he won't go to every family function with you but he will go to some. That is a compromise.
2007-07-29 12:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a big issue in marriage, though not usually the one thats the straw that breaks the camels back.
If you are concerned now, it won't get any better. Either accept it or move on.
2007-07-29 12:21:15 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get over it and just do what u feel is necessary
2007-07-29 12:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by machele 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋