Is Infertility Grounds for Divorce?

Question

I would like to know others opinions on infertility being grounds for divorce. What does the Bible say about it? Personal beliefs? State laws?

I was NOT speaking of my own marriage. Yes, I have been found infertile but my husband and I have made the decision to live childless for now and reconsider our options later.
My question came from a recent discussion we had with a group of friends, most of whom are also infertile. I was hoping to get others opinions. Some of the research I've done on the internet says it can be grounds for divorce according to the Bible. I do NOT agree with this, so please, don't misunderstand my question, I am NOT planning to divorce my husband!

Answer 1

I'm not aware of there being any law against divorcing for reasons of infertility. (And even if there were, the person who wished to initiate the divorce could claim the catch-all "irreconcilable differences" anyhow.)

As far as morally speaking...it would be unfortunate if a person were willing to divorce another for that reason, given that we take vows for in sickness and in health, etc. However, different people have different priorities.

I suppose you could look at it from the perspective that the person who initiated the divorce was actually doing their spouse a favor (even though it might not seem like that at the time). If your partner were willing to break what's supposed to be a lifetime commitment for that reason, then you deserve the opportunity to find someone else who will love/appreciate you just the way you are. After all, a person who would abandon their partner due to infertility would likely be the sort of person who might not be a true partner to begin with.

Answer 2

It's a horrible and tough situation but you are NOT a bad person for having these thoughts. The desire to be a parent is so strong in some people, that many marriages DO end for this reason. However, if you truly love this woman, I do recommend you explore many options (surrogate, adoption, whatever you can do). If you feel you just can't find the money, or if you want authentic offspring of your own DNA, then you probably need to get a divorce. Please be very sensitive when you tell your wife. She will probably have intense feelings of inadequacy. From your questions about assets and such, I have a feeling you've moved on, emotionally. I do believe infertility is grounds for divorce since that's a key tenet of marriage.

Answer 3

Not all states require grounds for divorce, Wisconsin is a no fault divorce state and I'm sure many other states are too. Someone told me that the Bible says that the only justification for divorce is cheating and physical abuse. But don't quote me on that. My personal beliefs are that if you went into the marriage with the hopes of having kids, but someone turned out to be infertile, you stick it out with that person and find other means, such as adoption, artificial insemination etc. It seems like something insignificant to throw a marriage away on, when there are so many kids out there that need parents.

Answer 4

Mumsnet Divorce

Answer 5

Well, I'll put it this way. A woman and a man stand in front of an audience (witnesses) and promise to love and respect each other for eternity. The promises are made to each other and God is the main Witness. The husband or wife is found to be infertile. By what stretch of the imagination would one think that what they swore to is 'inoperative' because one has become unhappy over the physical inability of one of the parties to have a child? How about snoring? Sleep-walking? Brain cancer? "This isn't why I married you so I'm outta' here!"

Unfortunately, these sort of things happen much too often.

Answer 6

Forget the bible, hon, if you want a divorce you can get one for any reason you so wish.... If you wish to have no obvious reason on the papers, the common phrase is "irreconcilable differences". It is really no one's business why you would wish a divorce except your and your spouse's. 50 years ago, there had to be a stated reason, divorces were more difficult to get, and infertility was one. It was of dire shame to be a divorced woman in the 1940's.....Now, the only law that matters are the civil laws -- i.e., the courts.

Smart people who do not wish their estates chewed up by greedy attorneys and their high fees use a mediating attorney, who represent both people.....nice, neat, civil and fair.

Answer 7

"Grounds for divorce" vary from state to state. And grounds for divorce can be interpreted to mean he doesn't like the way you chew your gum. To learn if they are "legal" grounds, you'll need to do a little research or contact an attorney in the state in which the marriage is registered (usually).

Traditionally, childlessness was considered the wife's "fault", and a "barren" wife could be divorced quickly and easily. Of course, medical science has changed all that.

Most divorces are "no fault" these days. Contested divorces are relatively rare, largely because they are hideously expensive. Most ethical attorneys advise against attempting to force someone to remain in a marriage they no longer want.

Answer 8

I don't believe it is there are soo many other options out there divorce is not necassary. And if anyone were to leave there spouse for the sake of having children is someone selfish and doesn't really love them in that case move on. I can't imagine someone so mean and foolish as to HAVE A SPINE as someone answered here would say those mean things. I do not like that answer at all. But as a personal belief. No its not. So many kids need to be adopted out there. lil and big not just babies. Maybe those or that couple were meant to have one of those and not their own cus god knows they have enough love to love a child thats not their own.

Answer 9

I believe it is grounds for divorce if you didnt know before the marriage...But is it really worth losing the one you love because of a handicap that they cant help? There are also treatments for infertility and adoption. Hope this helps!

Answer 10

Not everyone believes in what the bible says. According to the LAW infertility is NOT ground's for divorce. That is not something that is planned. I suggest before you get a divorce you both see a doctor and find out if indeed it IS infertility and which one has the problem and what, if anything can remedy the problem. As far as the Bible goes, it is a book, written by humans based on a portion of human history. Not everyone on this planet is a Christian, not everyone who is a Christian follows the bible word for word and not Everyone who is a Christian follows the english translations of the bible. If you're going to follow the bible word for word then you have to go back to the original Hebrew/Greek languages it was originally written in rather than the modern day translations.