parents: would you search your teenager's bedroom for drugs, invading their privacy and harming their trust

Question

knowing that their privacy is one of the most important and sensitive thing for them. and doing it without any attempt to ask them if they're doing drugs, or even without holding any kind of conversation? please expand and justify your answer.

Answer 1

"GET BETWEEN YOUR KIDS AND DRUGS ANY WAY YOU CAN" - Carrol O'Connor following the overdose death of his son. If you have a suspicion of the activity then as THE PARENT you have not only the right to conduct the "search" and "seizure" of any illegal garbage, you also have a responsibility on the behalf of your teenager's future - even if they do not see it that way.

Lastly, the teenager's Country is a Democracy, but consider your home a form of Communism - where YOU rule. This may sound harsh, only because the damage caused by the garbage of drugs is even worse upon those that become addicted (not to mention those on the sidelines - usually parents, grandparents, etc that have to watch the deteriation occur physically, emotionally, legally, and financially). Some things have to be "handled" to "get it done" - you must be a very good parent to be concerned about the relationship portion of this - that anger however displayed by your teenager will be temporary; 5, 10, 15 years from now that same teenager will thank you as they begin to see and listen to the stories of others who were afflicted with that damage.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

No, if you put it that way, I wouldn't. On the other hand, the first and primary duty of a parent is to protect the child. You can believe me when I tell you that I'd go to the ends of the earth (including invading their privacy) if there was an indication that intervention was warranted. It's a difficult question, but what we do know (among a few other things) is that youngsters (generally up to about the age of 20) do not have a fully developed brain that lets them adequately judge the consequences of any give action--such as "trying" drugs, tobacco, or using booze responsibly. Some, of course, never do develop the ability but that's mostly a matter of training and education. That "brain development phenomena" is the basis for their needing protection. And, oddly enough, many kids don't have a clue about it but feel "adult" and responsible before they truly are.

Answer 3

I do not yet have teenagers, but yes if I suspected there might be drug use I would search the room they are allowed to use (it is not "their" room). I would also read their diary if I had sufficient concerns.

A child, which a teenager still is whether they like it or not, has no "right" to privacy. Parents generally allow them privacy, but if they suspect the child is using drugs or possibly in some other danger, it is not only our right, but our RESPONSIBILITY to find the problem and help fix it. Our children should also trust in us that we are doing what is best for them, again-whether they like it or not.

Being a teenager is not easy. I know, I have been one. Being a parent is not easy, either. I know-I am one. I am not yet the parent of a teenager, but it is not that many years away and I imagine it will be difficult for both my children and myself. However, my goal is not to make it any more difficult than it has to be on either of us, but to see us all through healthy and happy.

Answer 4

Children have a lot of freedom. Most of the time they do what they want, go where they want. If they get into problems then parents restrict their activities Parents should not invade a childs privacy, although sometimes it is nessacary to the childs welefare, if the child has fallen in with a bad crowd it is nessecary to find out as much as possible to pull them back into the family fold. In the US gangs are trying to take our children, we must then invade their privacy to ensure that they will have a better future than where they are heading. Trust is given until broken then it must be earned back. Advice is a suggestion to improve the direction the childs life, It is the parents responsibility to direct the child to do their best, to be their best. When a parent tell a child not to do something it is in the childs best interest. When we tell a child what to do, we are guiding them to learn responsibility and consequences of what may occur in their life by not doing as we said. (don't touch that stove, it's hot) ( don't take the car out tonight, its raining to hard, you could have an accident ) Children need to listen and learn. They need to understand that we want them to have a bright future. They should follow the parents advice. It is the best advice that they will get from anywhere.

Answer 5

my husband and I had our share of partying when we were teenagers, but we got married, had kids, and I will be in their room all the time the MINUTE i think they are lying to me. Theyre in my house, and what they do affects me... if my child is that ignorant that she can't talk to me about drugs, then she will have me in her room. She will be completely invaded, they can have privacy when they pay the rent in their own house. If the parent didn't talk to the child, or make an attempt to understand the child's life, and isn't involved in the child's life enough to KNOW what's actually happening, the child is right and the parents are NOT jusitified. The paren'ts are BAD parents for lack of a better term. I know many parent's who work all the time and wonder why their kids do drugs.... so if there is NO attempt to talk to the teen, child, whatever the case may be, then yes the child has a right to be extremely upset. (personally if i were that child, i would shock the crap out of my parents. i would sit and say "hey... want to talk about drugs?") and show them how educated you are... that will shut them up.

Answer 6

I wouldn't search the room without any just cause. If I suspected my kid of doing drugs and had a good reason to look for them (like I saw my kid stumbling in at late hours or saw them stoned or something) and had given them an opportunity to fess up and they hadn't, then yes I would search the room.

Privacy is a privilege, not a right, especially if they're under 18. You have every right and responsibility to check that room for drugs or paraphernalia. It's your house, you pay for it and it's on YOUR head if the cops find it instead of you.

Obviously try to give your kid the benefit of the doubt and allow them to explain themselves fully (if they are willing). If not, then search the whole damn house, bedrooms aren't the only places for hiding things.

Answer 7

The thing is what is the reason for the search? If you are worried about your child do it and if you find something then have a pow-wow and explain the so-called invasion of privacy. Parents need to stop being afraid of their children and let their children know it is you duty and love for them that takes to any level as long as it is for their protection and their path in life. Too many kids and dead,hooked on drugs,or in jail because parents are cowards or too busy trying to be their kids best bud!

Answer 8

No, I would never search my teenagers room for drugs without just cause. If I had seen them on drugs I may search their room to make sure that it isn't in my home. I most definitely wouldn't do it without asking them about it. It is an invasion of privacy. There is no need if you have a good relationship with your children and you haven't seen them high. If I suspected I may search, but I probably just would do it while they were gone and never even tell them about it unless I found something. In which case I would try to get them to admit their problem before admitting to searching their room. Trust is important in any relationship. Your children have to trust you to be honest with them, and also to keep them safe.

Answer 9

ONLY if I was absolutely sure that it was necessary! I have always talked to my children about drugs and warn them of the effects. I can only pray that this will steer them in the right direction. I try to stay a part of their lives enough to know what is going on but I would rather invade their privacy and make them mad at me for a while than to lose them to drugs.

Answer 10

I don't trust my mom with anything. How am I supposed to? When I was little I remember her going through my older sisters' backpack with me sitting right there, and I know she is doing it to me. I don't tell her anything and I never keep stuff that I want personal in my room. My mom has never attempted to even talk to me about drugs or anything. She never gave me the talk or anything. Whenever I asked, she always told me that I'll learn it in school. I basically have no privacy at all. Really, all about the drugs and sex and stuff I've learned on Y!A and from friend, the internet, and school. I hate when my mom invades my privacy though. She even reads my diaries, which I keep on my laptop. But since I have my internet connected to theirs. Luckily I've learned to get internet from the neighbors, so now they can't read anything on my laptop. (I made it password protected.) I'm not a bad kid, either. No drugs, no sex, and I've had alcohol once in my life, and that was on Christmas Eve when my Uncle Dave and Aunt Mary gave me a margarita. I still think my mom should have informed me more on these things, but I really don't care anymore. I know basically everything I need to know right now and I've found ways to escape my sisters fate of always getting caught with things...lol.