When I'm hurt, I hold it in and not show it. I don't communicate the anger b/c it shows vulnerability and possibly low self-esteem. Then later I get even by consistently being hostile and insulting. Friendships don't last very long as a result. How can I learn to deal in hurtful or angry situations?
2007-07-29 03:54:58 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are already on the way, by identifying this as a problem and recognising it. The way to do this is to understand why you hold it in - why do you feel vulnerability and low self - esteem - go one more step further back and see why this is so. Could it be an overcompensation? Were you hurt badly way back when you showed anger and you were overwhelmed or humiliated? Once you have worked this out, and let the past go, then go on to learn how to be articulate. You need to articulate your anger ie speak to the person you are angry with, without losing your coherence or temper. For a start, do it by baby step - just try telling this person he has made you angry. Just say it to him. The next time you get angry, you can practise to say a little more eg why and how he got you angry. Practise this in front of a mirror if you like.
For further steps, there are many good anger management books - try and get hold of one. Good luck.
2007-07-29 04:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by autumnleaves 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Implosive Anger
2016-11-11 00:10:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
How can an implosive (anger), passive-aggressive type deal better w/anger?
When I'm hurt, I hold it in and not show it. I don't communicate the anger b/c it shows vulnerability and possibly low self-esteem. Then later I get even by consistently being hostile and insulting. Friendships don't last very long as a result. How can I learn to deal in hurtful or...
2015-08-19 03:47:20 · answer #3 · answered by Marna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger and hurt are closely related. One takes the place of the other, and vice-versa. First of all, there is nothing wrong with showing hurt. It doesn't make you less a person. What it does show is that you have feelings. If you display the hurt, then the anger won't necessarily overtake you. What you fear is vulnerability and low self-esteem, but by being hostile and insulting, does that make you feel strong and proud of yourself? I'll bet not. So what you need to do is not fear getting hurt, and letting the person know that he or she has hurt you. That will indicate to the other person that he or she has overstepped in the relationship, and possibly make them feel guilty and subsequently try and make things up to you. But even if they don't, you have at least released those pent-up and buried feelings so they don't cause an explosion of anger at some later time. Friendships don't always run smoothly, but if people can be up front with one another, an occasional hurt or thoughtlessness will not destroy that friendship. Don't take things so seriously. Another suggestion would be to take an anger management class to learn how to control that more aggressive part of your personality, and deal with your emotions in a more constructive manner. Good luck!
2007-07-29 04:17:05 · answer #4 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it is when someone wants you do do what they want or think is the right thing and you say ya ok, but do the opposite or do nothing at all. People are sometimes passive aggressive to keep from having any confrontation. Maybe you can just say thank you I will try to do that in the future, or say no thanks, thats just not me.
2016-03-20 00:53:04 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since passive-aggressiveness is a personality disorder there is no cure for it, but can perhaps be managed through counseling. To see optimum results you must go to all sheduled appointments and stay until you see a change, if not, then your best bet is to stay away from people.
2007-07-29 04:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What causes anger?
1) When we are negated.
2) When we do not expect to be hurt.
As much we are dictator by our nature as much we will expect not to be negated. As much our approach is not realistic as much we will not be prepared for the worst behavior.
Thus your behavior in hurtful/angry situation will be reasonable if you can control your dictator like attitude and keep yourself mentally prepared for the worst.
2007-07-29 05:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by Mustansar Dar 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow, there is someone out there who feels just like me
2007-07-29 04:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by >wonder whats next< 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋