Guy was 30, separated and had 2 small children. I was 28, very naive and bored at the time. This guy would follow me around everywhere, buy me gifts and take all my insults. I justified my meanness as "this is what I'm worth? a pathetic loser w/baggage? this is the best that's out there for me? how come cool normal guys aren't following me around?" There's obviously something wrong w/me? Can I have some analysis, please?
2007-07-29 03:51:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wouldn't attach a bunch of psychological significance to this. It was wrong, you knew it was wrong, and you did it anyway. That's bad behavior. So, go apologize to the guy, forgive yourself, and move on. We all blow it sometimes.
2007-07-29 03:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you can accept this, you are a human and something is bothering you, self esteem or something else.
First, self esteem in something that you should be concerned with. If you think you are something special, you will miss out on the best life has since you will be too good for anyone or any to be with.
If you think you are not worth anything, you are actually on the path to a better life as you know that when someone cares about you, they actually care, because you are not worth the effort and that they are putting effort into you, they see something that is worth their time and trouble. That is truly a good thing, as frankly, very very very few people are worth the trouble to get to know them. Why because they think they are better than everyone else.
everyone has baggage of somekind who has lived in this turned upside down world. Divorce is rampant, and people step in and out of relationships like they are playing a game.
I personally want committment and don't want anything to do with anyone who is not committed at all costs.
This guy might take the abuse and he might actually love you, and again, he might also be seeking someone to degrade him as that is what he thinks he is worth.
I can't speak on that matter, just be aware of it. I have a girl friend not unlike you, but we are friends so I don't put up with her ugliness to me. I walk away, but we are friends and I'm totally committed to our friendship no matter what the cost to me.
I would suggest keeping a diary and looking into your heart. If you find good things there, you are decieved. You will find some good, but you know what I mean, if you keep finding you are the greatest gift god gave to the world, you will not every get over being rude and hurting people.
2007-07-29 04:01:43 · answer #2 · answered by magnetic_azimuth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, you think it might be your attitude?
Negative and nasty show through more than you know, and if you can treat people like the way you treat the guy that was "following" you the way did is it any wonder that no other man would want you? You used that poor guy and I'm sure you hurt him deeply, you've got alot to learn about how to treat people.
You are no better than anyone else, how are you gonna call someone a pathetic looser? Look in the mirror.
2007-07-29 04:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe your expectations are too high. I can understand why you wouldn't want to get tied to a fellow who is separated (not divorced) with children, but there's no need to be insulting or rude to him just because he seeks your friendship. I think you are more displeased with yourself than with other people. Of course you deserve the best, but make your expectations more realistic, because there is no such thing as the perfect person. With a negative attitude, you will not find the "cool, normal guys". Try changing your outlook, by being friendly and approachable. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, as the saying goes. Good luck, and happy hunting!
2007-07-29 04:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are no mistakes only lessons- you know if you are a mean person or not. And you aren't, because if you were, you wouldn't be posting this feeling guilty would you? maybe this Guy is a clingy guy who needs intention due to his seperation and nees company. you said that you were bored, so many he thought you would be a likely companion. its like high school- cliques that have people following around the populars around all the time. your frustation ot the best of you- nobody wants to be followed around- just try to be happy with Guy. there was a girl in my school that followed me around even though i didn't know her, but then i started to pay attention to her and i felt happy to be her friend.
2007-07-29 04:00:25 · answer #5 · answered by nobody 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No in-depth analysis required here.
You acknowledge your mistakes of how you treated him.
You acknowledge he is not the right person for you.
If you still have a relationship with this person, I suggest you end it politely, saying "I'm sorry, I was so rude to you, but I don't think we should see each other any more."
There is nothing wrong with you. Move on with your life......... and try not to be rude to other people, even if they are pathetic losers.
2007-07-29 04:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by R_Crumb_Rocks 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No cool guy with ANY sense would follow you around because you seem like a self absorbed A$5 hole who takes advantage of people's weaknesses to cover up your own insecurities!
2007-07-29 03:57:59 · answer #7 · answered by Bella83 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you act the way you do, maybe that's why you don't attract cool guys. You got to love and respect yourself before you'll get anyone with any substance to love and respect you!
2007-07-29 03:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by CRAIG C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i didnt read all that..
its 12:53 am
............
P.M.S.
2007-07-29 03:53:46 · answer #9 · answered by flee1906 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋