What do you think of my poem?

Question

The ocean takes my breath away,
Mountains mesmerize me,
I can spend all day in a meadow,
Or in the shade of trees.

But there's one place I'd rather be
Where I could lie until I die,
It's where I long for, when I feel,
I need some time to let my tears dry.

This is the place where,
I know I am not alone,
Not only is it my remedy,
It’s my definition of home.

My fears come to rest here,
My hopes come alive,
My purposes become clear,
This place is my life.

You won’t find this place in an atlas,
Searching the world would be a bad start,
Don’t bother looking on a globe,
For it's only in my heart.

This sanctuary of which I speak,
Only belongs to me,
For lying in his arms,
Is my favorite place to be.


Please don't copy! :)

Thanks so much!

Answer 1

wow u r a great poet!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LUV IT!

Answer 2

I won't, don't worry :)
but I would suggest getting a copyright :D
I think it's a wonderful poem, but could do with a little work - maybe brush up on a few simple words- find fancier synonyms - come, become, find, bad etc, since you've already used elaborate words such as mesmerize. It would look prettier =)
Other than that, it's perfect. I like the repitition in the fourth stanza, it's exactly how I felt, once upon a time. (Lol!)

Answer 3

Heartwarming and genuine, although I am nether a native speaker nor English languets, but forgive my audacity for I will recite some pointers, should you feel comfortable about them then use them otherwise forgive me for I love the written word.

Here it goes, the ideas are well composed but the symbolism and the rhyme are scattered all over the place, you are true to your feelings no doubt but try to pipeline the thought into a dramatic impact like “I need some time to let my tears dry”, you might want to “Where time could dry my tears” .

Again it is just a pointer,.. Good luck

Answer 4

What a beautiful poem
it talks about mountains
and how the ocean takes your
breath away. This one must have been
written while you were on vacation, or able
to think of poetry from your head.


This is also along with nature
because of the trees
I like how it describes peace and quiet.

Answer 5

The poem is great. This phrase is great- "But there's one place I'd rather be Where I could lie until I die" This has a deep meaning.

Answer 6

I love it. Keep it up. Don't worry, I won't copy it because I know how devastating that could be for you. This is a wonderful poem. It's so deep, yet not as dark as mine are.
Do you personally like this poem? Because I think that's all that matters.

Answer 7

I do like it. When you say "lying in his arms," are you referring to the arms of Jesus? If so, you might consider capitalizing the pronoun the way the New King James Bible does.

Of course, this is entirely up to you. The poem is wonderfully done just the way you have it now. Thank you.

Answer 8

Pretty good man!!! The 5th stanza is really good, the 2nd is a little shaky, but the 6th is awesome too! GOOD JOB!!! Add some illustration, a title, and enter it into a contest!!!!

Answer 9

Its Great! Who knows, someday you could be one of the next greatest poets of our time!

Answer 10

it's nice ,
but i don't like the first stanza
the other's are great ,
it's like i could feel what you're talking about ,
and the emotions you had when you made this .,

Answer 11

smooth; but the poem doesn't say anything new.

i don't like its concluding stanza, the reasoning is faulty. no one can have sole ownership of any place just because it is his/ her "favorite place to be"