Why can my fiancee's vagina not get 'wet' during foreplay?

Question

My fiancee and I have had a fantastic sex life, however till recently it has gone down hill and we dont know why. We are both sexually aroused, yet no matter how hard we try she doesnt get wet and she complains of pain. Even when she tries to arouse herself, it still doesnt work for her. We have been using lubricants, however this is not ideal as it should be natural that she gets wet.

Months ago she complained of a burning sensation, which the doctor diagnosed as a normal infection, which was resolved through antibiotics. However she experiences nothing like the previous symptoms, just pain and the doctor can never see anything wrong.

This is a big problem for us, yet we cant see what could be the problem. There is no issue of 'cheating' where my fianciee or I could attract diseases/infections etc.

I would be greatful of any help you could offer.

Danny.

Answer 1

Hmm, is it possible she is scared to death of getting married? Is she having second thoughts about being married. Along with physical causes the mental stress and fears can be just as powerful.

If you two are very young don't rush into marriage before you two are both ready. You can always stop the marriage up until the time you say I do.

Have you talked with her about any worries either of you are having? Look at the information in the links below. You both need to know the answers before you say I do.

Answer 2

You don't give your respective ages. If you are an older couple this may be a natural side effect of the menopause. Remember a "natural change of life" can start from the early forties. Occasionally the menopause sets in early.

Stress due to the forthcoming marriage; is this going to be a "demanding" event with lots of pressure from family members?

Are you in a vicious circle of pain = lack of sexual response = dryness = pain. Perhaps you should explore different sexual positions that are less painful to your partner, or where she is more in control of the activity.

Thrush; antibiotics kill the the vagina's natural flora and allow the growth of yeast infections. Are there any other symptoms?

Infection of the glands that produce female lubrication is a possibility. Get your partner to go back to her GP and explain the problem fully.

Answer 3

From what little I just looked up I would be concerned that the infection wasn't completely cured. Search on yahoo or google for "painful intercourse" for some more ideas.

Dispareunia

Women may experience uncomfortable or painful sexual intercourse, known as dispareunia, for a variety of physical reasons. Vaginal infections or irritations may make penetration of the vagina painful, or penetration may cause the infection to flare up. Women may also develop reactions to contraceptive products, lubricants, or other feminine hygiene products. Lubrication of the vagina is also important in making sexual intercourse fully pleasurable. Insufficient lubrication of the vagina may have physical causes or may be the result of nervousness or lack of arousal. A spermicidal or water-based lubricant is the best method for adding vaginal lubrication, particularly if you are using condoms (oil-based lubricants will break down latex). During the first few times she has intercourse, a woman may feel pain due to an unstretched hymen or nervousness. Waiting until she is most aroused and trying to relax may help reduce this discomfort. Pain deeper in the pelvic area during intercourse may be caused by an infection or other medical problem. If any pain during intercourse persistently recurs, seeing a gynecologist is a good idea.

Answer 4

several reasons , go thru solutions one at a time....#1} if previous infection, there could be residual problems, the gyn needs to do other tests to rule out any secondary infections, or the possiblity that the first diagnosis and antibiotics were both wrong....... go to a new GYN!!!!!!!!! do not risk future health problems, with a woman even tho you have treatment there could be another problem that doenst present for years... like PID> PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE>>>> #2}} is she currently taking any medications??? i have found that even a measly 20mg prozac, the lowest dose, will prevent me from getting wet. no matter how hard we try....stop all meds for a few days or week and try again see what happens.....you have to wiegh the risk of going off meds, to having an orgasm.... #3}}}} sometimes when my stress level gets higher, kkids , job , hubby, even tho i feel ok, the stress in the suconcius takes over and it just wont happen.......#4}}}}... i have found that having my hubby rub my back with oils, is a turn-on, and will help me relax, then a hot bath to wash oils off, then sex... i feel relaxed, clean, and ready for some lovin'.....#5}}} i like the feel of slippery lubricants my hubby doesnt, but will be ok with it when i need the extra wetness... my absolute favorite is ASTROGLIDE, not cheap and worth every drop......#6}}}is it possible that the stress or anxiety of upcoming wedding has her freaking out?? is she pregnant???that could also effect things. when i was newly pregnant there was pain every time until mid, pregnancy then a new position helped...????what about foreplay, with no sex... really, pretend your in high school on a first date.. RULES}}} hand holding only, a goodnight kiss maybe... light petting. but no touch of privates.... then go home and make out on the couch like teenagers, with the parents in the next room and could walk out at any moment......

Answer 5

Some women have problems getting "wet". Maybe she isn't mentally ready. Is she stressed, thinking about work, tired, etc.? (the mind is a powerful thing).
Certain medications or conditions could also contribute to this. Tell her to talk to her doctor.

Answer 6

just relax n put it out of your mind, thinking of getting wet wont actually help matters, just leave things me and nature will take its course, use a lube in the meantime just as an added xtra without complaining about using it, sooner or later u wont need to.
Good luck n take care

Answer 7

is she on a birth control pill? ive found i have problems becoming wet afer ive gone on the pill..it actually pisses me off as i never had problems like that before i went on teh pill ...lol.... but theres not really much that can be done other than going off the pill..
if its not the pill...maybe she should seek a second opinion and visit a different doctor

Answer 8

i have that problem too,i lost my virginity to my boyfriend last month and it hurt very much,as it does when you make love for the first time.since i have made love again but i couldn't get wet as i was anxious that it would hurt again.so i think this is a psychological problem of hers and nothing physical.

Answer 9

Is she worried about anything going on in her life at the moment.... Maybe her mind is elsewhere without her knowing it....

Answer 10

Sounds like vaginitis.