So I have been overweight most of my life and it has hindered my dating.
For some reason everyone on here gives me that "no it is yourself esteem" conversation.
It isn't my self esteem it is the way of the world. So I want to wait another 50-60 pounds (i was 238 now 200) till I start. What is wrong with that?
Isn't that just giving myself a fair chance?
2007-07-28 19:36:34 · 9 answers · asked by Okay Hero 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Well, both you and others are right: it is how you feel about yourself, and how others feel about you. You cannot get out there until you have a little confidence in yourself (so then being comfortable in your own skin) and others accept you for who you are (or unfortunately what you look like).
This world is shallow, and it blows that people are very judgmental about weight.
So to answer your question: I think it is just fine for you to wait until you are comfortable with yourself. You will have the confidence and people will see that about you and love you all the more for it!! I think it is a great idea to wait.
But, on the other hand, if in the process of losing weight, someone does show interest in you, don't brush them off because you are not at your goal yet. Just give it a shot, and continue to lose the weight.
Good luck!! :)
2007-07-28 19:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lostris 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's nice to know that other people are going through the same things that I am.I am currently 230 pounds and I would like to lose 120 pounds (would be ..ideal).I have never had a boyfriend.And I intend not to have one until I have reached my goal.I love myself and I have no self esteem problems either.I think when I lose the weight ...I will be more comfortable.I have not took care of myself for a long time..and now it's time for me to pick things back up.Plus..I want to be able to wear all the cute little tops that all the other girls where when their boyfriends come to pick them up.I overall would be happier to weight.I think either way you will make the right decision.Good Luck!
2007-08-01 16:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by Wantstolooklikeamodel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what everyone is saying. Date when you're ready to date. If that is when you are 150 then go for it.
My own advice would be not to wait. Personally I went to prom with a guy I had been dating for a year, I was 240.
Dated another guy at 220.
A different one at 200.
And one last one at 180.
Went back up to 220 and ended up with the man of my dreams who I will be marrying soon (we've dated for three years now). And now I weigh 195.
Personally, I wouldn't wait, it's good to know that a guy won't dump you if you gain weight on him. Especially if you've always had problems loosing and maintaining a goal weight for yourself. But, as always, do what is best for you. :D
2007-07-29 21:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all you should wait until you feel comfortable what ever that magic # is for you. I lost a total of 79.5 but with 17 to go I met my husband, or rather he came into my life as a man and not a friend. My weight never bothered him and I went down 3 sizes after we started to date and he actually had no memory of me being that big as he calls it. My point is that for the right man/woman you weight won't really matter but what is extremely important is that you are happy with you . So when you are happy with you and opportunity arises, go for it and enjoy....
2007-07-29 22:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be wary of two things:
1- Your life experience has taught you about that thing called love. It is superficial nonsense. Unless the person you are marrying is wealthy and stupid, DON'T GET MARRIED! Infatuation dies and marriage is a trap that can cause economic, psychological, and physical problems.
2- People are going to be looking to prey upon you because of your low self-value. Deal with a partner from a position of strength, don't let any moron try to manipulate you into thinking they are the only action you can get. If you got them, then most-likely you can not only get someone else, but also someone better (It's just the law of probability).
When you are confident, then is the time to move forward with the plan:-P
2007-07-29 02:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by The law is a form of tyranny. 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In my opinion, i think you should date when you feel you have that connection with someone. If you feel you like a person and they show interest i say go for it. dont let losing the weight keep you from living and dating. Congrats on the weight loss and good luck reaching your goal
2007-07-29 02:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Start dating when it is right for you. Only you will know when that is. I also commend you on your weightloss efforts.
2007-07-29 02:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by Caring 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do it when you are ready and comfortable with what you want to be. just dont use it as an excuse to put it off.
2007-07-29 02:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by tom5251972 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you need others approval? if that is going to make you feel better, then do just that!
I respect you for that.
2007-07-29 08:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by godshandmaiden 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋